Tim Tebow to Miami Dolphins Belongs in Theater of the Absurd

It has begun.

Jacksonville's bane has turned into Miami's dejection as Peyton Manning has reportedly eliminated the Dolphins from contention for his services, opening the door for a potential Tim Tebow move to South Florida, should the Dolphins also lose out on Matt Flynn. According to Mike Florio of NBC Sports:

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"If the Dolphins swing and miss on Manning (which necessarily will be the case if he signs with the Broncos) and also fail to secure the services of Flynn, the only way owner Stephen Ross can make a big splash in the short term would be to put his trust in Tebow."

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Indeed, Tebow would make a big splash in Miami, but for all the wrong reasons.

Let us start with Miami's new offense. Joe Philbin and Mike Sherman will be implementing a version of the West Coast Offense, which relies on footwork, timing and precision. Is Tebow an accurate quarterback? Does he have impeccable timing? He may have good legs, but that is a far cry from good footwork as a passer.

Tebow completed 46.5 percent of his passes last season. 46.5 percent.

John Fox had to change the entire Denver Broncos offense to a spread option in the middle of the season just to accommodate Tebow. While he may throw a good deep ball, for every good one he throws a few at receivers' feet. 

Yes, the current Broncos quarterback brings the intangibles that few other quarterbacks bring in terms of leadership, but his tangibles (or lack thereof) must outweigh his ability to give great speeches. Was Tony Sparano not a master orator?

Yes, it worked for a while, but teams eventually caught up with it, just like teams eventually caught up with the Wildcat.

Speaking of the relic, some folks argue that Tebow could run the Wildcat to perfection. The Wildcat was a hail mary devised by Dan Henning when the Dolphins began floundering during the 2008 season. It worked for a while, even helping get them to the playoffs, but Henning is long gone and the Wildcat is dead. Gimmicks only last so long in the NFL, and somehow I doubt Joe Philbin wants to try to revive it.

"All he does is win."

If that were the case, would the Broncos not be celebrating a Super Bowl victory? Would Peyton Manning even be in the discussion?

After an improbable winning streak last season that was sustained largely in part by Denver's defense and a pinch of luck, Tebow practically backed into the playoffs with some bad losses. He then lost in the divisional round. Spare me the mantra.

Most important in all this, however, is the fact that Tebow hails from the University of Florida.

Last season, Miami honored Tim Tebow during a home game against the Broncos last season, an idea panned by many that angered a big chunk of the fanbase in Miami and even created a movement to boycott the team.

You see, the Miami Hurricanes, bitter Gator rivals, play their home games at Sun Life Stadium. Even though Gator-friendly Broward and Palm Beach counties contribute significant numbers to the Dolphins fanbase, would Stephen Ross really want to alienate half the team's fans by making this ill-advised move?

Notwithstanding the fact that whiffing on Jim Harbaugh, Jeff Fisher and Peyton Manning may have done that already.

All this speculation amounts to nothing if Peyton Manning signs anywhere but Denver or the Dolphins nab Matt Flynn, but it is absurd speculation nonetheless.

Why, exactly, would the Dolphins make a poor football and marketing move for a polarizing quarterback that would bring a zero-ring circus to Miami? 

This is Stephen Ross, so anything is possible, as evidenced by Jennifer Lopez and Fergie being minority owners. Miami would be ludicrous to even consider this move, but losing can make someone crazy.