San Francisco Giants: 10 Free Agents Who 'Fit' San Francisco's Needs

Happy New Year, readers! What’s that, you say? I’m late?

Anyway, it is now 2012. While the end of the world might be nigh, the Mayans must have been baseball fans as the 2012 season will be played in its entirety pre-Apocalypse. In fact, pitchers and catchers report to spring training in just over a month.

This week, my esteemed editor sent me an assignment: 10 Free Agents Who Fit San Francisco’s Needs.

But “fit” is one of those funny words. Especially this time of the year.

Consider the popular New Year’s resolution: “This year I will lose 20 pounds and fit into my clothes from high school.”

Alternatively, one might say: “After I contracted acute necrotizing ulcerative gingivitis, I could not eat and therefore could no longer fit into my clothes.” Incidentally, that one is quite appropriate for me as of this writing.

But the San Francisco Giants are no different. Two months ago, my colleagues and I were speculating which free agents fit the Giants’ roster. Now, with the pickings slim, we can only look back at these same free agents who fit the Giants roster…but have incidentally signed with other teams. 

Forget “Auld Lang Syne.” There are hard feelings. 

Someone left a cake out in the rain. Here are the top 10 free agents from this offseason who would have been great on the Giants.

1: Albert Pujols

Albert Pujols fits the San Francisco Giants need for a power hitting middle-of-the-order juggernaut.

The three-time MVP and likely future “Home Run King” is one of the premier hitters in the game. Having just won a World Series with the St. Louis Cardinals, it seemed that the Giants would be unable to inflate their imaginary budget line or part with any of their middle-tier first basemen to afford a player who's guaranteed to be a massive audience and television ratings draw and revenue booster.

Things are not always what they seem, but in this case, they were. The Giants did not bite at the Pujols bait, and instead the slugger went to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, the team that defeated the San Francisco Giants in the 2002 World Series.

2: Prince Fielder

OK, so Prince Fielder has not found a home just yet.

Fielder, like Pujols, is a strong middle-of-the order slugger. Critics cite his weight as a liability. These critics also seem to turn a blind eye to the nearly identical situation with the best hitter on the San Francisco Giants: The lipid-challenged Pablo Sandoval.

Prince Fielder would contribute handsomely to the Giants. With 38 home runs last season and over 100 RBI, he would immediately arrive in San Francisco as the Giants’ best hitter. This won’t happen, though, as ownership once again refused to “pony up the dough.”

3: Jimmy Rollins

What a great story. A Bay Area star leaves the team he helped guide to its first World Series win in over twenty years for the team that defeated him a year ago in the playoffs. He then finishes his potentially Hall of Fame career as the star shortstop of the San Francisco Giants and leads them to another World Series victory.

Except Jimmy Rollins, as expected, re-signed with  the Philadelphia Phillies. We can only speculate as to whether or not the Giants honestly made an offer to Rollins, although given the massive and woefully unjustified adoration for Brandon Crawford, we can assume that Brian Sabean and company decided “nah.” 

4: Jose Reyes

Jose Reyes “took his talents to South Beach” and consequently deprived the San Francisco Giants of a treat.

Sure, he was (and still very much is) an injury threat. Last season, Reyes played in only 126 games. In doing so, he amassed a paltry (league leading) 16 triples and equally cringe-worthy (also league leading) .337 batting average.

To put some perspective to this: Brandon Crawford played 66 games with the Giants. He had two triples and 40 hits. Jose Reyes played in approximately twice as many games and had approximately 2.5 times as many at bats. He, however, had 181 hits and 16 triples, all without the benefit of “Triples Alley.”

Did the Miami Marlins overpay? Yes. Although next year, Jose Reyes will be making only $10MM. That, for the record, is $2MM less than the San Francisco Giants will pay Aaron Rowand, who incidentally also “took his talents (or lack thereof) to South Beach.” 

5: Carlos Beltran

It certainly looked like the San Francisco Giants were ready to add some beef to their batting order when they traded their top pitching prospect Zack Wheeler to the New York Mets for Carlos Beltran.

But Beltran’s stint with the Giants was a miserable one, as he missed a few games due to injury and batted a meager (team leading) .323 with a .920 OPS. Granted, he did not qualify for the team’s “best average” due to joining the team at the end of July and thereby having insufficient plate appearances. So clearly his seven home runs in 44 games pales in comparison to his successor Nate (the Great) Schierholtz’s nine home runs in 115 games.

How did the Giants reward Carlos Beltran’s contributions that kept an offensively anemic team from incurring the ignominy of a losing record? They traded for Angel Pagan and let Beltran walk away to the St. Louis Cardinals for $13 million a year. Good move, Sabes. 

6: Michael Cuddyer

With the top-tier talent out of the way, let us examine what other free agents fit the San Francisco Giants’ needs.

Michael Cuddyer was the French Vanilla ice cream of free agents. Definitely stronger and zestier than run-of-the-mill vanilla, but at its root not much more flavorful. The long-time Minnesota Twin put on a show against the Giants in the series against the Twins. Fortunately for the Giants, they see the Minnesota Twins very rarely due to interleague play rotation.

One might think that having a solid .272 career hitter with good power numbers would make the NL West a more fearsome division.

One did think that, in fact. That “one” would be Colorado Rockies General Manager Dan O’Dowd, who wisely locked up Michael Cuddyer to a three year deal worth approximately $30 million.

Now the Giants get to play against him 15 times a year. Hooray!

7: Coco Crisp

Coco Crisp is the bomb. Not only did he lead the league with 49 stolen bases last year, but he also transformed my cereal milk from milquetoast whiteness into chocolatey goodness.

Playing for the cross-town Oakland Athletics, it would not have taken much for the San Francisco Giants to “pull the trigger” on a sure-fire leadoff hitter. But they could not (or did not want to). As a result, Coco Crisp decided to re-sign with Oakland.

Hey, at least Bay-Area fans know where to go if they want to see a team with consistent base thief. Then again, he fits right in with Oakland. 

8: C.J. Wilson

“Are you crazy? Why would we want to sign C.J. Wilson? We already have one of the best starting pitching staffs in the league! The Giants are committed to signing Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain. To throw money at another starting pitcher would just be foolish and a waste of money!”

Says you.

“You’re right.”

Says I.

Except for the small fact that the San Francisco Giants have not worked out a contract extension either Tim Lincecum or Matt Cain, who by the way is set to become a free agent himself at the end of the 2012 season. Do you think the Yankees and Red Sox aren’t salivating already?

Instead, Giants fans get the distinct honor and privilege of watching an incompetent zen surfer (Barry Zito) compete for the fifth starter position with an equally incompetent albeit much younger Baby Ugly Duckling (Eric Surkamp). The winner? Nobody.

9: Yu Darvish

Pretty much the same situation here as with C.J. Wilson. There was no way that the Giants were going to secure the winning bid for the sought after Japanese sensation.

Frankly, this might turn out to be a blessing: Look no further than other Japanese sensations Daisuke Matsuzaka and Hideki Irabu. One of them is a colossal underachiever. The other one was a colossal underachiever until his untimely death (R.I.P. Hideki; I still have your “Ir-a-boo-ya” shirt somewhere).

But Yu Darvish is young, awesome looking, and has a ridiculously beautiful wife. He also, apparently, is quite talented and much more “conventional” than the other recent Japanese imports. So while the Giants did not necessarily need Yu Darvish, I’m sure they could have found a way to make him “fit.” 

10: Miguel Tejada

Last season, Brian Sabean did what he always does (allegedly*). He drank plenty of egg-nog after the expiration date and, in a fit of hallucination induced hysteria, saw a 36-year-old washed-up/has-been shortstop leading the team to World Series glory. He then signed the first such short stop he could find. That is (probably*) how Miguel Tejada received a contract.

In 91 games (322 AB), Miguel Tejada hit a measly .239 with only four home runs and 26 RBI.

Sabean (purportedly*) realized that he had signed the wrong 36-year-old shortstop, and released Miguel Tejada. He traded for another 36-year-old washed-up has-been: Orlando Cabrera.

In 39 games (126 AB) with the Giants, Cabrera hit only .222 with one home run and 13 RBI.

In between, the current celebrated and “untouchable” star of the Giants 2012 infield, Brandon Crawford, received playing time.

In 66 games (196 AB), Crawford hit .204 with three home runs and 21 RBI.

Talk about a step up.

*Source: Me. Credibility: Zero