Last we heard from grandpa, he was hanging up the phone in panic. You see, Pops has gotten himself into quite a messy situation—even for his standards. After breaking out of an NY jail, Pops changed identities and hopped on a flight to LA to lay low for a while. Didn’t work for long. The cops closed in and were knocking on the door to my mothers apartment.
I feared the worst for about a week, until my phone rang tonight as I was in a poker game with the boys from the neighborhood.
Grandpa: “Hey, kid. Are you around anyone right now? Keep it down.”
Me: “Pops! Great to hear from you! I didn’t think I’d be t—“
Grandpa: “Quiet! Don’t mention my name. Your phone might be bugged.”
Me: “Pops, you know I get a new cell phone and number once a month. Learned that from you. By the way, I got that thousand from Sammy we won last weekend. Let’s do even better this time. Who do you like?”
Grandpa: “Your Raiders! Big time. They are up one game on Denver in the AFC West, but Tebow and the Broncos are breathing down their throat. Oakland plays Green Bay next week, so they know they have to take care of business against Miami tomorrow. So it’s the Raiders, plus three-and-a-half.”
Me: “Gotta love getting that extra half point! That has saved our asses more times than I can count. Speaking of saving ass, how the hell did you avoid the police last week?”
Grandpa: Your old lady actually did something right for a change. She wouldn’t let those cops in without a warrant, and by the time they came back 24 hours later, I was gone. “
Me: “Where are you now?”
Grandpa: “Can’t say. Not taking any chances. Send that thousand over to your mom.”
Me: “So grandpa, have you seen the Patriots’ line? Vegas got a little crazy. Favored by 20.5!”
Grandpa: “Are they playing a college team?”
Grandpa: “What do you think about Houston’s chances with a third-string quarterback against Atlanta?”
Me: “I think the Falcons coast to an easy win, but for some reason, they are only favored by one point. I think tha—“
Grandpa: “Don’t overthink things, kid. Go with your gut. Falcons minus one.”
Me: “Hey pops, the boys wanna say hi. I got Schmidty here, Royboy, Doggie and Bam Bam. Easy pickins for me tonight at the poker table.”
Grandpa: “Kid, if I played poker with you and your friends every day, I wouldn’t have to print out counterfeit tickets to Jets games and pretend to be in a wheelchair to cash checks. Now focus, we need two more winners.”
Me: “I hate to take a fourth road team, but since you’re on the run, it seems like a good theme to follow. Dallas blew it for us on Thanksgiving but Tony Romo and the Cowboys cruise in Arizona this week. Take the Cowboys and give the four-and-a-half.”
Me: “Got it. I’ll call them in with Sammy—a grand each, as usual. Be safe out there, Pops.”
Grandpa: “Thanks, kid.”
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