The Fan Hall of Shame: Welcome Seattle Seahawks Fans

Bryn Swartz by Senior Writer Written on December 23, 2008
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I had something happen to me today that has happened to me a thousand times before. I was wearing my Eagles jacket and an Eagles jersey and was stopped by someone who asked me if it's true that Eagles fans really threw snowballs at Santa Claus.

I am here to tell you, the entire football world, that it is true.

 

On December 15th, 1968, we the people of Philadelphia, threw snowballs at Santa Claus.

 

It doesn't stop there.

 

We kidnapped Mrs. Claus. We tortured the elves. We called Rudolph names and wouldn't let him join in any reindeer games.

 

We poured salt in the milk and put garlic in the cookies. We booby-trapped the chimney. We even stole all of Cindy Lou Who's presents.

 

And why?

 

Because we're cruel people with hearts two sizes too small. We don't have souls. We're angry at the world and on one fateful day in 1968, we took it out on Father Christmas himself.

 

We must have the worst fans in the entire world. The fact that we sell out almost every sporting event is irrelevant. We may care, but do we boo? Yes, we do.

 

Never mind that the Detroit Pistons fans attacked Indiana Pacers players in 2004. Or that two Chicago White Sox fans beat up a Kansas City Royals first base coach in 2002. Or that Denver Broncos fans threw snowballs at Oakland Raiders players in 1999.

 

Simply from one incident that involved five to 10 fans over 40 years ago—more than twice my lifetime—we have been deemed the most brutal and hostile fans in the entire world.

 

Well, I am here to tell you that there is a new organization in the Fan Hall of Shame.

 

On December 21st, 2008, the fans of the Seattle Seahawks threw iceballs at New York Jets players and staff as they walked off the field.

 

That's right. They attacked innocent members of the opposing team after the conclusion of their final home game of the year. I have even heard rumors, but can find no substantial proof, that the Seahawks fans attacked police officers with iceballs—the man who uphold our justice system.

 

And why? Because they just beat the visiting Jets 13-3 in a shocking upset?

 

That's classless.

 

Classless enough to enter the Fan Hall of Shame?

 

Absolutely.

 

If throwing snowballs at a 19-year-old kid wearing a Santa Claus suit is the one incident Philly fans are most remembered for, that says a lot.

 

Nobody wants to remember incidents like the Pistons-Pacers brawl.

 

Why not blow a completely harmless situation way out of proportion to give it meaning?

 

Look at it this way. Nobody wants to forget the Santa Claus incident. People want to remember it.

 

It was harmless. It's a funny story.

 

And now it's our legacy.

 

Philadelphia fans? Our behavior is no different from every other team's fans.

 

We just have more passion.

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written on December 23, 2008 Humor

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