Philadelphia Eagles Week 12 Report Card: Grading Each Unit After Loss to Pats

WesAnalyst INovember 27, 2011

Philadelphia Eagles Week 12 Report Card: Grading Each Unit After Loss to Pats

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    In a game soon to be known as "Hoodie and the Blowout," New England demoralized Philadelphia, 38-20, and in the process put the final nail in the Eagles' coffin.

    Hopefully, there aren't any Eagles fans who actually think this disgrace of a team can still win the NFC East or possibly make a run at the wild card. Sadly, there are probably a couple fans out there living in a delusional state, wearing midnight green glasses and believing Andy Reid will finally "do a better job."

    Snap out of it.

    This team is one of the most pathetic embarrassments to play in the history of Philadelphia sports.

    And that says a lot, considering the city went through a 26-year championship drought and only has two World Series trophies, two Stanley Cups, three NBA titles and zero Super Bowls.

    The incredible disappointment, lack of effort and poor coaching make it nearly unbearable for Eagles fans to admit any association with the city of Philadelphia or the football team that represents it.

    But do you want to know the worst part?

    The Eagles haven't hit rock bottom. Not yet.

    The lowest of lows will come Thursday night when the team travels to Seattle and loses. It will bury the Eagles at 4-8 and give them a 1-3 record against the NFC West.

    Until then, enjoy a team that didn't completely flunk.

Offense: D-

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    There were two positives with this game:

    First, the game wasn't played in primetime. Imagine if the entire nation saw that performance? Actually, wait. If more people saw the game, it would cause more people to understand why Andy Reid should be fired.

    OK, the second thing, which is now the only positive was the first quarter.

    Vince Young was letting passes fly with confidence, receivers were actually catching passes and the Eagles built an early 10-0 lead.

    The Eagles were like a girl who you think is really hot, but as she sheds a layer of clothing, things begin to unravel and everything sort of falls apart.

    And the most disgusting disturbing sight in this game was DeSean Jackson's lack of effort.

    He put on a performance more reminiscent of Todd Pinkston than Andre Johnson or Larry Fitzgerald. Good luck cashing that next big paycheck, DeSean.

    He got pushed around when defenders were on him, and when he had room, he curled up like an abused dog fearing another beating.

    The other disturbing sight involved LeSean McCoy.

    It's not so much that McCoy played poorly. It has more to do with Reid's decision to abandon the run when he saw how well the passing game was working early in the game.

    More on this later.

Defense: D-

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    Again, things looked pretty good in the first quarter, so the complete failure was avoided.

    Early on, the Eagles got pressure on Tom Brady, found ways to make tackles and kept the Patriots off the scoreboard.

    Now that we can look back on the game, it feels like the Patriots toyed with the Eagles and made them feel like they had a chance in this game before blowing their doors off and exposing their weaknesses in the secondary.

    Most notably was Nate Allen.

    I'm shocked Allen was found in picture with a Patriot in the same frame.

    He was routinely the guy Tom Brady picked on relentlesly. If this were a school setting, Brady would have been suspended for two weeks for bullying. He sought out No. 29 and knew where to go with the football.

    And when Allen wasn't screwing things up, the rest of the secondary made Patriots wide receiver Julian Edelman look like an upgrade to anything roaming around out there for the Eagles.

    OK, so I got that bit of wit via text message from a friend, and it was one of the better lines I heard.

    Back to the game. Did anyone actually think Juan Castillo was going to figure out a way to slow down Bill Belichick?

    More on this later as well.

Special Teams: C-

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    Alex Henery made field goals from 20 and 19 yards, Dion Lewis averaged 19.5 yards on two returns and Chris Henry averaged 39.8 yards on five punts.

    Is there anything that should get us excited about any of those performances?

    Each did what he was asked to do, but Lewis and Henry failed to go above and beyond.

    Anyone notice no stats were listed for punt returns?

    The Eagles had three opportunities to return punts, but they couldn't set up a return. At this point, I don't care what the reason or excuse is. At some point, the special teams needed to make an impactful play, and they came up with nothing.

Coaching: Z

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    I had a history teacher in high school who gave out grades below "F." He would slap an "O," "R" and sometimes toss hand out a "U." But I don't think he reached the lows of a "Z."

    If there was ever an occasion to hand out such a grade, the deplorable coaching performance against the Patriots calls for it.

    Let's go back to Reid's decision to forget about LeSean McCoy because he fell in love with the passing game early in the game.

    Sure, the aerial attack was clicking. But did anyone think it was going to work for three more quarters?

    Was Reid too dense to realize other coaches make adjustments? And doesn't he know a one-dimensional offense with a backup quarterback is kind of easy to defend?

    And don't give me one ounce of crap saying, "Well, the Eagles were down big, so they had to pass."

    Can it, you Reid apologist.

    The Patriots were down by 10 points before Reid could find the running plays on his play chart. But what did Belichick do? That's right, he ran the ball 10 times over the first 17 plays of the game.

    The beauty of Belichick's commitment to the run early on was that it lulled Eagles defensive coordinator Juan Castillo to sleep.

    The first-year defensive coordinator probably thought the Patriots forgot how to throw the ball. I mean all this guy ever sees is a head coach in Reid who runs one type of offense and fails to mix in variety.

    All of a sudden, Belichick added the passing game, and that was all she wrote.

    Castillo could come up with an answer if you gave him the question and Internet access an hour in advance.

    He is so far in over his head it makes you wonder if he took notice of anything going on during a game outside of the offensive line, which is what he coached prior to getting the reins to the defense. 

    And the last thing any fan can take right now if for Reid to run his high-calorie intake mouth saying, "I have to do a better job," or some variation of it.

    Every time I hear Reid say "I have to do a better job," I think of Pulp Fiction.

    Remember the scene where Jules, played by Samuel L. Jackson, loses his cool when Brett continuously says, "What?" He dares Brett to say it one more time. When Brett can't help himself, Jules sort of goes off on him.

    Don't you wish there was some way Eagles fans could go off on Reid?

    Obviously, we can't get that violent, but I think you get the point.

What It All Means

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    The Eagles are on the verge of completely falling apart.

    DeSean Jackson is about to blowup on his teammates and coaches. Vince Young is about to get exposed. Michael Vick is about to take a shot that doesn't let him get back up. And the coaches are about to lose their jobs.

    It's kind of scary to consider things will get worse, but it's a fact everyone has to come to terms with.

    It's going to be hysterical when Juan Castillo comes up with such an awful game plan that he makes an inept offense look great. And at the same time, Andy Reid figures out a way to ground his offense against an average defense.

    Get ready to laugh Thursday night when the Eagles travel out to Seattle because both events will happen at the same time. It will make everyone, even the biggest Reid supporters, realize his time is up.