This, I believe, is my 22nd review!
IMPACT this week is in Macon, Georgia. You can think of it as the map "Makin" from CoD: World At War but my awful nickname is "Big Mac." I've had better but this one was hard!
Okay, whoever stole my Fortune t-shirt back in about March or April, I want it back. I haven't been able to find it and I'm tired of looking. There's no ransom for holding my shirt hostage. If you give it up peacefully, no problem. If you keep it for yourself... tell them Liam. Oh yeah, I'll go all Batman: Arkham City on your ass.
Time for some really good news just so this review doesn't start on a negative note. My article, 6 Reasons Why Kazarian Should Be Television Champion, has been viewed and most likely read by five-time X Division Champion and my current favorite wrestler, Kazarian.
Yes, Kazarian himself replied to it via Twitter. He said (Michael Cole voice) and I quote, "Thanks for the kind words. Much respect!" So that pretty much made my day.
Cowboy's Second Address
Heavyweight Champion James Storm comes out in front of a loud pop from his fellow southerners. He makes another address to the fans.
Storm says he would promise to be a fighting champion but he drinks too much for that.
He asks Bobby Roode to come out.
Roode beat Samoa Joe for a title shot last week.
Storm wants Roode to bring his 110 percent to the match. Roode says he will. They want to tear the roof off the not-so "Big Mac."
Ronnie is Here
EY and Jersey Shore's Ronnie are in the building.
Knockouts Tag Team Championships
Madison Rayne & Gail Kim w/ Karen Jarrett vs. Champions, TNT
Tara and Tessmacher named their duo TNT. Can you guess why?
Brooke Tessmacher looks way too hot to be wrestling but whatever.
They gave this match pretty fair timing and it was a good match to open the show with. It was a good display of Knockouts action and Karen's lust for gold in her new crew.
TNT worked well together but Karen Jarrett gets a major assist for the win.
Brooke and Gail were outside the ring after a big spear by Brooke. Tara laid Madison out with a Widow's Peak but Karen distracted the referee and Gail hit Tara with Eat Defeat, and planted Madison on Tara for the win.
Winners: New Knockouts Tag Team Champions, Madison Rayne & Gail Kim
I didn't really expect to see the title swap hands, especially since this is Gail's second week back and based on the fact that she already has a Knockouts title match at Turning Point against Velvet Sky.
Overall, good opening Knockouts match. I liked it.
Apologize Like a Bischoff
Garrett Bischoff is in the ring and asks his dad to come out. Eric comes out and his happy that Garrett is willing to say sorry.
Garrett apologizes for all the things he did but then says he's sorry he didn't do this sooner, and he attacks Eric.
Flair and Gunner run out and Garrett leaves.
New Sheriff in Town
Samoa Joe finds Sting backstage and thanks him for the number one contenders match. Joe tells Sting to continue to treat him with respect or else Sting may randomly get injured.
Bischoff and Flair show up and Joe leaves.
Bischoff wants Sting to make a match next week. Garrett vs. an opponent of Easy E's choice. If Garrett wins, Sting can re-write EB's contract.
Sting, unlike most GMs nowadays, says he needs to speak with both parties.
Daniels in Denial II
Daniels is crazy.
He thinks he defeated AJ at BFG and RVD last week on IMPACT. Neither thing happened.
Daniels says he's on a winning streak and whatnot until RVD attacks him. RVD shoots down all of Daniels' false statements as he kicks his ass, too.
Anyone else thinking of a three-way between AJ, Daniels and RVD?
Jesse Sorensen vs. X Division Champion, Austin Aries
These two guys have definitely been the two shining stars of the X Division revival back in July. Aries won a contract and soon enough, the X Division title.
Sorensen has easily gotten the most TV time of all X Division guys with exception to Aries of course.
I want to see more of Zema Ion and Tony Nese, though. Let's go!
It's a good match and it's good to see the X Division back on TV this week. Kid Kash joined Tenay and Taz on commentary and talked trash about Sorensen most of the time.
After two running drop kicks, Aries set up for a Brain Buster but Sorensen reversed it and got a quick roll-up pin.
Kash was even angrier than Aries if you ask me.
Winner: Jesse Sorensen
Sorensen is most likely going to fight for the title at Turning Point. Maybe add Kash for a three-way but I doubt it.
Gym, Tan, Wrestle vs. Gym, Tan, Laundry
Robbie E and Robbie T make their way down to the ring.
Robbie calls out the poser, Ronnie and his friend, Eric Young.
Robbie is pretty pissed and rips into both guys. He calls Ronnie hamster a lot and tells him to pack his bags and leave his turf. Robbie calls EY Grizzly Adams which is ironic since I mentioned Grizzly Adams in my last review.
Do you read my reviews, Robbie? If so, what's up my dude! Robbie for TV Champion!
Robbie E tells Ronnie to leave and that he can kick his ass anytime. Ronnie wants to go right now. Robbie says he'll punk Ronnie out just like The Situation did on Jersey Shore, b*tch. Robbie calls Ronnie a b*tch and there's a fight.
Ronnie tackles Robbie but Big Rob hits Ronnie in the back. EY runs at Big Rob and gets his head knocked off by a huge double-sledge-type clothesline. The Robs stomp on EY and Ronnie before leaving.
Rob Terry looks like he's in Lego Land compared to these short guys like EY, Robbie and Ronnie. It's almost funny how much taller he is.
EY grabs a mic and issues a tag match next week. EY and Ron parade around the ring with the TV title and defunct old World title.
I actually enjoyed this segment and Ronnie's involvement.
Jeff Jarrett & Bully Ray vs. The Charismatic A-Holes
Yeah, we all remember that alliance Anderson and Hardy had a year ago. They called themselves the Charismatic A-holes.
The match is going good. Jarrett actually fought Hardy for a bit and Anderson fought Bully Ray.
The match had a nice flow to it until Scott Steiner ran out. Then there was a beat down on Anderson and Hardy.
Bully hit both guys with his chain and Immortal left them knocked out in the ring.
Winners: Anderson and Hardy by DQ, right?
Match is Set
Sting asks Garrett Bischoff about his dad's offer and Garrett accepts. Sting isn't too sure.
Matt Morgan comes to the ring and calls out Crimson.
Morgan says people have been on his Twitter asking when he'll face Crimson and if he can end his streak. Crimson says people did the same to his Twitter.
Crimson actually replied to a tweet of mine this past week. Crimson and Kazarian? What a big week.
Crimson and Morgan want to give the people what they want. They'll have a match, one-on-one at Turning Point.
Crimson tells Morgan that nobody will end his streak.
World Heavyweight Championship
Bobby Roode vs. Champion, James Storm
This is Storm's first defense and match as new champion.
The IWC wants IMPACT to push homegrown talent? Here you go. Two of the best the company has to offer. James Storm and Bobby Roode.
These guys work one hell of a main event. This match could've gone either way and didn't feel rushed at all. This match came down to the wire with some big time moments.
Roode almost had Storm tap out, clean in the ring. I thought it'd end there but no.
Roode tossed Storm to the corner and we almost had a ref bump but Storm stopped short before clobbering the ref. Roode charged at Storm, Storm moved and Hebner dove out of the ring.
Apparently, Brian Hebner has weak knees and somehow twisted his knee during his dive outside the ring. Storm sent Roode to the outside and recovered in the ring.
Bobby Roode sat there staring at Storm's beer bottle on the steel steps. After a while of thinking, Roode grabbed the bottle and cracked Storm right over the head.
Roode got back in the ring called that wimpy baby, Brian Hebner back in to count. 1, 2, 3. Roode wins the World title!
Winner: New World Heavyweight Champion, Bobby Roode
Roode celebrates his win but gets showered with boos from the crowd.
Roode's heel turn here was shocking and don't say it was rushed. It simply wasn't.
Roode has been a face since the beginning of this year. He was most over prior to BFG. Everyone loved Bobby Roode during and before Bound For Glory. After Roode failed, everyone tossed him aside. Nobody cared for Roode anymore after Storm won the title.
It's all good. Roode had little fan reaction after BFG and a heel turn maybe best for him. He works best as a heel and it should be interesting to hear what he has to say next week.
Spoiler alert: It's probably him just being jealous. Just what I wrote no more than three lines ago.
- Opening Segment
- Knockouts match
- Garrett beating up his dad. Gets me every time.
- X Division
- Ronnie's involvement. Not bad at all.
- World title match
- Roode is #NextWorldChamp
- Good wrestling tonight
- No Hogan
- Gail Kim as champion maybe too soon and too predictable for Turning Point
- Scott Steiner's interference
- Brian Hebner, really?
I thought it was a great episode of IMPACT this week. I can't wait to see next week. People on Twitter, mainly WWE fan boys and idiots, love using the phrase #TNAwful. I say, us true IMPACT fans reverse that into #TNAwesome.
If you don't have a Twitter to start help #TNAwesome from trending, make one! You mind as well follow me if you end up making one, just saying.
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