Portland Blazers Game 21: Boston Celtics Are Evil Leprechauns

Bleacher ReportCorrespondent IDecember 5, 2008

Oh dear....

NBA word all over the radio and TV has been nothing but praise for my Blazer squad.  I heard that the whole town of Boston was EAGERLY looking forward to this match up.  I know Portland was.  I imagine a great deal of people all over the WORLD were watching tonight's game. 

The world champs v. the young upstarts.

Alas...if there is one thing world champs are supposed to do, it's put young upstarts in their place.  Tonight, the Celtics did just that.  We hung early on, but when their team got physical we just lost our composure, and the shots stopped falling. 

We missed more shots than a blind grandma playing Duck Hunt!

Truthfully, I knew we would lose this game.  BUT, I sure we would be able to put up a fight!  I was POSITIVE!

I had NO IDEA we were about to be ambushed by Evil Leprechauns!

See, lots of people think the tiny beings from Irish lore are humble little drunks who like to hide, and if you catch one, it will grant ye' three wishes, or take ye to a pot o'gold at the end of the rainbow. 

Some people think leprechauns will hook you up with a phat bowl of Lucky Charms too! 

Sure, those Leprechauns exist.

But there are cruel wicked leprechauns as well. 

Twelve of them play for The Boston Celtics.  

These powerful little buggers live only to cause mischief, and destruction.  They do not lure you to a pot of gold, they lure you to a pot of coal (then cut your head off).  They DO grant wishes, but they twist your words to make a perversion out of your wish.  For example, you wish for all the money in the world, and when they make the money appear, the mass of the cash crushes you to death.

Evil Leprechauns hang out with banshee's, and tonight the banshee's wailed..."BLLLAAAZZZEEERRRRSSS...."


Look, the truth is this: There was NO WAY we were going to WIN in BOSTON.   The world champs consist of three of the best vets in the league, and their point guard is ill.  The Celtics are going to repeat as champs this year, and will probably three-peat in 2010.

The questions is...can we beat them in the ROSE GARDEN?  That is the true test of how far our team has come along. 

With 21 games under our belt, we're 14 and seven.  That's GREAT!   

Oh, and if The Blazers, any of their fans, or anyone in the organization are down about tonight's game...

At work I was verbally assaulted and then had glass thrown at my head by a transgendered lady-guy, in front of Jerome Kersey, 200 other customers, and not ONE member of my staff came to my support.

Guess what, the glass made contact too!

So the night was a bad one for me as well...