We all have things in wrestling that we really don't like, but with the exception of Vince Russo's facial hair (which surely unites every one of us in disgust), we dislike different things.
Articulating these feelings isn't always easy. I'd love to be able to concisely explain my feelings for Ezekiel Jackson's in-ring work, but it always seems to end up with me sobbing.
Don't get me wrong, I think its nice that the man-of-a-thousand-bodyslams has found a move he likes (the bodyslam), but it would be even nicer if he tried learning something else.
Some wrestlers annoy us, but crucially, this doesn't mean they're bad.
The article to which I'm responding produced four so-called arguments on Alberto Del Rio, and, like Lindsay Lohan in a jewellery store, I'm not buying any of them.
So, like a very pretty Ricardo Rodriguez, I'm going to defend ADR from each attack in turn.
Del Rio's Win-Loss Record
Presumably, I missed a meeting, because when did win-loss records become particularly relevant in WWE? Wrestling has always been extremely selective about the importance of past events, treating the viewer as if they have the memory of a goldfish with alzheimer's.
Wrestling operates in the now, and anything from more than a month ago is conveniently forgotten, unless it happens to be convenient to recall it.
Examples of this are numerous. How did WWE explain the Edge & Christian as brothers angle? They stopped referring to them as brothers and pretended they never had.
Even if win-loss records particularly mattered, a quick look at the 2011 statistics show Del Rio's win loss record (23 wins, 17 losses), as superior to both The Miz (14-21) and CM Punk (15-16).
Mark Henry has an absolutely abysmal career win-loss record and even just a few months ago he was being regularly beaten.
Win-loss records are irrelevant and the past doesn't matter in Wrestling. If it did, Samoa Joe would still be running around the Impact zone, demanding to know where the kidnapping ninjas were.
He is Unoriginal
The writer states that:
"Alberto Del Rio comes out to the ring and says the same things over and over and over again."
Indeed, this is unoriginal. Just about every wrestler who's been given a mic has developed a catchphrase and repeated it over and over. Unoriginal, but why single out Del Rio?
By this logic, ADR is also unoriginal for stepping into the ring and performing wrestling moves, having entrance music and not wearing a snorkel.
"He talks about his destiny, he is better than everyone else, no one can stop him (clearly his record shows that is false) and he is the best there is."
Broadly speaking, this is what every heel has been saying since about 1985 at least.
While it would be unique for Del Rio to state he's better than half the guys in the back, can't be stopped by anyone below Trent Barreta on the roster and is "arguably above average", it would be a risky strategy for getting over.
I wonder if the writer is annoyed by Del Rio because he's doing the job that, as a heel, he's supposed to be doing - making himself unlikeable.
He is Boring
Contrary to what you might think, I haven't written this article because I love Del Rio. Personally, I like him, but that's not the issue. Some people don't, and that's fine.
If you want to articulate why a particular wrestler is bad for the company you have to avoid completely subjective reasons such as "He is boring".
Alberto Del Rio...
He might bore you, but he really entertains me. The fact is, neither of us have proved anything by writing those two sentences.
His Core Idea of Having a Destiny Is Shot
Admittedly, there's less scope for him to talk of destiny now, but that's because he's achieved it. Del Rio's references to his destiny have been a smart way of conveying his overwhelming confidence in his abilities and ever present arrogance.
It seems a little extreme to suggest that one small part of his character makes him so dreadful for WWE.
Night of Champions is a big deal for ADR, and I hope WWE don't decide to give his belt back to Cena.
(Though incidentally, if they did so, it might be a nice idea to get rid of the spinner design and just have it shaped like a yo-yo or a boomerang with Cena's name on it.)
Feel free to bombard me with Del Rio related vitriol, just as long as its witty or insightful.
(Vince Russo vitriol will be accepted in any form. I can never get enough.) Thanks for reading.