NFL 2011: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? Featuring Manning, Harrison & Mendenhall

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NFL 2011: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? Featuring Manning, Harrison & Mendenhall
Andy Lyons/Getty Images

The NFL is coming back... soon. To get fans prepared for the most anticipated season of all time, one that won't feature Brett Favre, all drama is enhanced. Turn your cell phones off, buckle your seat belt and put your tray table in the upright position, because the football season is preparing for takeoff.

Of course, it won't be done until Peyton Manning accepts that he may be franchise-tagged. Oh no, why should the great Peyton Manning be treated like everyone else? That is if everyone else would receive $21 million for one season. Suck it up Peyton, like you have in the playoffs the last two games.

The NFLPA is sorry to Vincent "Please drive me home from the bar," Jackson, and Patriots guard Logan Mankins. Yeah, last season, when the NFLPA claimed they had your back so you can get yours, well... you guys are still last to eat at the table. Sorry guys, if you don't like being forced to make $10 million for just one season, you can try playing basketball in Turkey.

Mike Vick is at Congress pleading for harsher penalties for those in attendance of dog fights or those allowing minors in attendance. Pretty much all those guys that ratted Mike Vick out should be in jail. He's got a good point.

James Harrison also brought good points to the table. Number one, Roethlisberger is not Peyton Manning, even if he gets paid like him. Is it Big Ben's fault that he's a natural ladies man and an awesome motorcyclist? Or is it Roethlisberger's fault the Steelers let receivers Plaxico Burress, Santonio Holmes and Antwaan Randle El (when he was good) leave in free agency? Mike Wallace is now pretty good, expect when his contract is up he will sign a big deal somewhere else.

Mendenhall is a fumble machine! Not only did he fumble the ball in the Super Bowl, he obviously dropped the ball when the rest of the nation was celebrating the death of Bin Laden. Clay Matthews certainly looked over-hyped when he forced Mendenhall's big fumble in the Super Bowl.

Harrison also called former Patriots Tedy Bruschi and Rodney Harrison "clowns." Apparently there are no relations between the two Harrisons even though Rodney was the most fined player in NFL history. Maybe Goodell hates Harrisons, maybe Indiana Jones stole his woman back in the day and ever since then he has had a vendetta against all Harrisons. Cool it Rodney, don't turn into that old guy now that kisses his elders butt. When #37 played and was fined, he cursed out the commissioner and claimed the game was going soft. Put your red nose and big shoes back on Rodney, and go kiss more butt on ESPN, talking about games and not playing in them.

Goodell is a puppet, and the devil, and he may be on fire and only Harrison can put him out with his urine. That comment's a little far-fetched, and completely contradictory. He can't be both the devil and a puppet. If he was a puppet, don't you think the REAL devil is the one stringing him along. Likewise, if he was the devil, he wouldn't need someone to pee on him to put out the flames.

Back to Mendenhall. You think you can just sue Champion sports apparel for a million dollars because they dropped you? That is rich. His lawyers are so smart. Of course Kobe Bryant couldn't sue his sponsors after he was accused of rape. Tiger Woods isn't getting back that $100 million he lost because he's too much of a ladies man. Brett Favre isn't, wait, yeah wrangler jeans doesn't care, in fact those jeans are even more comfortable now.

Kobe Bryant bought a ring and won a ring and that made everyone forget he was an accused rapist.

Mendenhall has that college athlete attitude, though, like everyone owes him something more. You exercised your freedom of speech, Rashard, which means that Congress can not uphold a law preventing your tweets, nor can any government agency act on it. Yet your lawyers believe a private company must uphold that right? Because of the Casey Anthony case, it's a given belief that all underdogs have a chance in court.

Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

I'm no lawyer, but I'd bet that Champion could counter-sue Rashard for defamation of character. Tweet that. If they didn't release Mendenhall, a blogger like me would be thinking that Champion clearly doesn't have any values or patriotism. Rashard should just focus on holding onto the ball this year and leave the tweeting to the birds.

The biggest loser of the lockout was Cam Newton. Sam Bradford signed a ridiculous contract last season taken at the same spot playing the same position. Bradford has a guaranteed $50 million and a potential $86 million. Newton will make approximately half that.

If Newton is a loser for making $25 million, then what are the Carolina fans that believe he may win a Super Bowl? Or who is that guy in your office pool that selects Newton within the first ten rounds? The fact is, everyone is a winner. Newton is winner for making legitimate money, Carolina fans win for having hope and your office wins for having a fantasy football league.

Sorry NBA, America won't notice you're gone until February, except for Steven A. Smith and Charles Barkley, but those guys are losers already.

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