John Madden: "BOOM! WHACK! I LOVE BRETT FAVRE! IF FAVRE LOST BOTH ARMS AND LEGS, HE WOULD BE THE BEST TORSO IN ALL OF FOOTBALL!"
Al Michaels: "John, once again you are being senile and forgot to take your medication so I'll talk from here until the game starts..."
AM: "Hi everyone, this is Al Michaels coming to you from the City of Brotherly Love, where the New York football Giants will take on the Philadelphia Eagles! This game will be one of the toughest matchups we've seen all season, right John? HUH! No John! Don't eat the mic!
"Sorry about that folks. We're having some technical difficulties with the microphones. Anyway, the Philadelphia Eagles are 5-3 and have won three straight games, stealing third place in the NFC East from the Dallas Cowboys, who have recently imploded. The NFC East leading New York Giants are 7-1, destroying any team that crosses their path. They both play each other tonight on Sunday Night Football."
(Sunday Night Football Opening Plays)
JM: "THANKS AL, FOR PERFORMING CPR ON ME DURING THE BREAK. ANYWAYS, THIS WILL BE THE FIRST TIME THESE TWO TEAMS PLAY EACH OTHER THIS YEAR AND COULD POTENTIALLY MAKE OR BREAK ONE OF THESE TEAM'S SEASONS. THIS GAME IS, OF COURSE, MORE IMPORTANT TO THE PHILADELPHIA FAITHFUL AS THEY ARE SITTING IN LOWER HALF OF THEIR RESPECTED DIVISION WHILE THE GIANTS EAT CAVIAR AND DRINK WINE ATOP THE TOUGHEST DIVISION IN FOOTBALL."
AM: "Haha, if only you folks knew how much fun John and myself have broadcasting these heated games. Looking into the future for both of these teams, if the New York Giants beat the Eagles, it will mean 8-1 and a perfect record against their division almost securing a playoff spot. They would have proven themselves to truly be the best in their division and show no signs of slowing down on their way to a possible second consecutive Super Bowl run."
JM: "YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE ABOUT FOOTBALL AL? THE AIR! THERE IS A CERTAIN SMELL IN THE AIR THAT MAKES YOU THINK TO YOURSELF...HMMM I SMELL FOOTBALL! KINDA MAKES YOU TASTE THE SPORT...ITS KINDA...MAKING ME...."
AM: "Thanks John for that funny anecdote. Let me talk for a little bit and discuss the upcoming game. The Eagles, unlike the opposing team, have everything to lose. If they don't come out of tonight with a win, they will be 5-4 and will probably be out of reach of the Giants and Washington Redskins, who are red hot at the moment.
"By succumbing to this record in this division, the Eagles may have to start digging their own graves. The chances of them coming back and making the playoffs in that position would be rare and doubtful considering they have to play their divisional opponents three more times this year.
"Looking back to last Sunday afternoon, the Giants ran over the Dallas Cowboys, while the Eagles attacked a depleted Seahawks team, giving up only one touchdown, which consisted on the 'Hawks first play of the game. After the lone touchdown to Koren Robinson, the Eagles' defense shut down the Seahawks offense for the remainder of the game...without any turnovers! That's right, they did not force one turnover and still held the Seahawks to seven points! Now, let's head down to Rachel Nichols for the keys of the game..."
Rachael Nichols: "Thanks Al. I just spoke to Tom Coughlin of the Giants and he said there were three simple keys to winning this ballgame: contain Pro Bowl running back Brian Westbrook, put pressure on Donovan McNabb, and do not give up scoring opportunities. He said if they are in the red zone tonight, they must not leave with field goals. The Eagles take pride in their "bend but not break" stance and won't cave in like the Cowboys did last week against this team. Back to you Al"
AM: "Thanks Rachel. I took it upon myself to speak to Andy Reid of the Eagles for his keys of the game earlier today and this is what he said..."
Andy Reid: "Hey, Andy Reid here letting you know the keys to the game. The keys are to cause turnovers, give the ball to Brian [Westbrook] early, and to protect Donovan [McNabb]."
AM: "You know John, Andy Reid has been with this team for 10 years now. How much longer do you think he'll be around for?"
JM: "WELL, I THINK HE'LL BE AROUND FOR AS LONG AS THIS TEAM IS WINNING. THROUGHOUT HIS TENURE HERE, THE EAGLES HAVE, FOR THE MOST PART, BEEN WINNING. THIS ORGANIZATION LOVES WHAT HE DOES FOR THIS TEAM AND LOVES THE STABILITY HE BRINGS YEAR IN AND YEAR OUT. HE'S A CLASS ACT GUY WITH A CLASS ACT TEAM"
AM: "Here we go. The opening kickoff is happening minutes away. We're gonna take a short break and we'll be back with the New York Giants against the Philadelphia Eagles on NBC!"