This is the first of my "Awesome Thoughts" segments. CM Punk's infamous shoot promo on Raw a couple of weeks ago inspired me to create "Awesome Thoughts."
First I am going to talk about the most talked-about man in the wrestling world.
Hint: it's not Zack Ryder.
The Money in the Bank match for the WWE Championship just seemed routine. It just seemed like John Cena had yet another guy to roll through before his Wrestlemania encounter with The Rock.
CM Punk was planning on leaving anyway, so it seemed fairly obvious that Cena would remain until a certain shoot promo changed all of the questions and left the answers hidden.
Punk was storyline suspended indefinitely for his rant. Cena threatened to relinquish the WWE Championship to Vince McMahon if McMahon didn't reinstate Punk.
McMahon was forced to reinstate Punk but had a caveat. If Cena loses he is fired.
Now the WWE Championship match at Money in the Bank has a lot of intrigue.
There are three options I can see happening.
If WWE is obsessed about re-signing CM Punk, they would have him win cleanly over John Cena. He reverses the Attitude Adjustment into a Go To Sleep. The Chicago fans scream "1! 2! 3!" as their hometown hero wins the belt.
Don't expect that scenario to happen though. John Cena doesn't have a Clark Kent side to him, and no one beats John Cena cleanly except for on special occasions.
Instead, if Punk wins it would be via interference from Vince McMahon or someone else.
Let's say Punk puts Cena in the Anaconda Vice. Vince comes down to the ring and rings the bell Montreal screwjob-style.
Remember this scenario happened when CM Punk defeated the Undertaker at Breaking Point 2009 for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Vince is holding a clipboard containing a contract. Punk wins the championship and signs the contract on the spot.
Vince says to John Cena: "You're fired!"
The city of Chicago parties the night away while little children cry a lake as big as Lake Michigan.
But let's be realistic.
CM Punk mainly targeted Vince McMahon in his shoot.
Storyline-wise, there's no logical way that Vince would double-cross John Cena in favor of a guy who not only despises him, but will leave the WWE regardless of the outcome.
That would be like Vince helping Stone Cold Steve Austin at Wrestlemania 17.
Oh wait. That actually happened.
Unless R-Truth can uncover a conspiracy, this outcome doesn't make much sense.
If there is a conspiracy, it would be a brilliant way for John Cena to actually get some kind of sympathy from the non-Chicago crowd.
He could take some time off to get ready for his Wrestlemania match with The Rock.
CM Punk could re-sign with WWE and hold the title for a long time, since there are no other faces who can legitimately take the belt away from him.
If Cena vs. Rock is for the title, then Cena can always pick it back up at Elimination Chamber or Royal Rumble.
It's obvious if Cena ever got fired it won't be longer than a month.
Remember, Punk's contract situation is legitimately up in the air. Rumors of John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio at Summerslam for the WWE Championship are too hard to ignore.
With that said, it's unlikely Punk wins the title.
Chances of this happening: 10%
This would infuriate the city of Chicago. But it's the most likely scenario.
John Cena wins cleanly.
We all know how this scenario would go down. Punk dominates for the first fifteen minutes until Cena channels his inner Hulk Hogan and finishes Punk off.
In more detail, CM Punk drugs John Cena and disguises him as Steve Bartman (Google him if you don't know his infamy).
The fans jump the barricade and destroy "Bartman". Then, the New Nexus hits him several times with their bronze tag-team title belts and chairs.
Joakim Noah of the Bulls comes out and chokes Cena out with his hair. Carlos Zambrano of the Chicago Cubs is furious, and destroys Cena even further with water coolers, chairs, and fastballs.
After 15 minutes, CM Punk finally hits the Go To Sleep to pick up the easy win.
As he's about to pin him, John Cena hits the STF and makes him instantly tap out!
Riots immediately break out in Chicago.
Punk would stay true to his word and take an extended break from the WWE.
Chances of this happening: 75%
Chances of what I described happening: -45%
This is my preferred option.
The infamous Chicago screwjob takes place.
John Cena and CM Punk have an awesome, back-and-forth encounter until Cena puts Punk in the STF.
Vince McMahon immediately sprints to the ring and calls for the bell. John Cena retains the WWE Championship via a screwjob.
At the next Raw, John Cena adamantly denies involvement with the screwjob. He demands CM Punk be re-signed so he can face him again at Summerslam. This keeps Cena on good terms with the fans.
Vince refuses to re-sign Punk. Alberto Del Rio interrupts the segment.
Cena can go on to feud with Del Rio for the title at Summerslam. He and Del Rio can fight back and forth for the belt until Cena finally regains it for his match with the Rock.
As for CM Punk, he takes a leave of absence. Maybe he goes to New Japan Pro Wrestling, or Ring of Honor for a couple of months.
Or he can take a lengthy break. He can even do a movie for WWE Studios if WWE wants to re-sign him while keeping him off of TV.
Punk makes his return at the Royal Rumble. His signature theme song blares in the arena while the fans go nuts.
CM Punk and Triple H trade punches as soon as Punk enters the ring. They end up eliminating each other from the Rumble.
Punk and Triple H feud because the shoot promo disparaged Triple H as well as the Game's wife, Stephanie McMahon.
They have an epic match at Wrestlemania where Triple H puts Punk over.
Punk becomes the new antihero that propels the WWE into a new era. He slowly turns face but doesn't lose the traits that made him great in the first place.
That's my ideal way to write CM Punk off of television while John Cena retains the belt.
Chances of that happening (the Chicago Screwjob): 15%
Chances of CM Punk actually defeating Triple H at Wrestlemania and becoming face of the company: 0.01%
Those are the three scenarios that I can see happening when CM Punk wrestles John Cena for the WWE Championship at Money in the Bank.
Raw GM Angle
Now on to the anonymous Raw GM angle that has gone on for an eternity (in WWE years) now.
Right off the bat, two things are obvious with this angle.
1. It was designed to make Michael Cole the most annoying announcer in a long time.
2. They can't/won't find a permanent GM.
WWE has ought to realize they accomplished #1 in record time.
I am sure there are plenty of guys who can fill that role on a semi-regular basis if they really wanted to find a GM.
Initially I was very interested in the Raw GM angle. I thought the GM would also be the leader of Nexus. I thought the GM and the leader of Nexus would be revealed as Triple H at Survivor Series.
In WWE's defense, Bret Hart was never going to be a long-term answer as GM. They needed a long-term replacement for Hart once he was unable to be the GM.
I will admit the guest host idea was a failure. The anonymous Raw GM storyline is better than some Z-list celebrity trying to book the matches.
If they were serious about finding a GM, they would have revealed the GM by Survivor Series at the very latest.
The Raw GM angle kills any momentum a storyline might have during the show. It generates the wrong kind of heel heat.
In short, the Raw GM angle is a liability to the show.
Here's my idea to get rid of the stupid Raw GM angle and replace it with something more concrete.
First of all, have Michael Cole be revealed the anonymous GM. I know it makes no sense, but Cole's character would have him hide from a computer for over a year.
Then, all of the legends who crossed paths with the GM immediately attempt to overthrow the GM.
Whoever is able to show up (Austin, Hart, maybe even Lawler) convinces Vince McMahon to fire Cole as GM and establish a panel of legends to run Raw.
This panel includes Shawn Michaels, the Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, Jerry Lawler, and Triple H.
Countless more can be included, but this is the seven off the top of my head.
This seven-man committee is responsible for the storylines and for booking all of the matches. Lawler announces what matches will be booked for that particular Raw.
The panel concept gets rid of the anonymous Raw GM angle. It also eliminates any unwarranted heat because all of the panel members are respected by the crowd.
Perhaps we can have an inter-panel war once Raw needs something interesting.
The Raw General Managers can be referred to as the panel of legends or some name like that.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston feud way too repetitive
Isn't this obvious enough?
Dolph Ziggler has fought Kofi Kingston for either the Intercontinental or the US Championship 143,245 times since the summer of 2010.
Please spare us from another Ziggler-Kingston match.
They are both good in the ring, and have great chemistry in the ring together.
But who wouldn't have great chemistry if they fought each other 143,245 times already?
Please let Dolph Ziggler move on and feud with someone else already. Let Kofi get a push into the upper mid-card or have him feud with someone else.
Just please don't have Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston again!
The problem with WWE is they think wrestling fans have a bad memory. Stereotypical wrestling fans have a lack of intelligence, not a lack of memory.
That was my first edition of Awesome Thoughts. Please tell me your awesome thoughts in the comments section.
Thanks for reading!
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