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I'd Rather Get Beat Up in an Alley - UGLY

Hot Stove New YorkOct 28, 2008

U-G-L-Y- You ainโ€™t got no Alibi!ย  You Ugly! You Ugly!ย  Yo Mama Say You Ugly! You Ugly!ย  You Ugly!

Sometimes a picture just says it all.ย  Like this one.ย  It says, โ€œIโ€ฆ. canโ€™tโ€ฆ. breatheโ€ฆ.Putโ€ฆ meโ€ฆ downโ€ฆ.โ€ย  Fitting that this is what Favre gets after throwing a game winning touchdown.ย  Somehow the Jets emerged victorious Sunday but it was very ugly. โ€œHow ugly was it,โ€ you ask?

That win was sooo ugly its shadow quit.

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That win was sooo ugly it made Frankensteinโ€™s dog go โ€œDang.โ€

That win was sooo ugly, Rice Crispies wonโ€™t even talk to it.

That win was sooo ugly it reminded me of Taco Bell-ย  When people saw it they ran for the border.

That win was sooo ugly it got 7 years of bad luck just for trying to look in the mirror.

That win was soooo ugly, it looked like she was bobbing for french fries.ย  So, that one didnโ€™t make much sense but if you put the โ€˜Yo mamaโ€ part back in I think it creates quite the image.

After three seasons of watching football teams coached by Eric Mangini, Iโ€™m starting to think that he might not be a good coach.ย  There have been red flags in previous games but none as bad (or as recent) as this.ย  In a game which should have been a gimme the Jets looked unfocused.ย  The penalties are Manginiโ€™s fault.ย  His players should know by now that Favre uses a strong cadence.ย  The interceptions?ย  Theyโ€™re Manginiโ€™s fault too.ย  Why did we come out flinging the ball around like Warren Moon in the Runโ€™ n Shoot when the Chiefsโ€™ run defense couldnโ€™t stop a stiff breeze?ย  Our running game looked like an afterthought and even then we got 135 yards on the ground.ย  For the most part our team looked terrible.ย  Disjointed. Clunky.ย  Unfocused (big time). Underachieving.ย  We didnโ€™t deserve to win that game and if it werenโ€™t for Leon Washington we were dead in the water against the worst team in the league.

The second Leon touches the ball he explodes forward;ย  he looks like a human cannonball at the circus.ย ย ย  Sunday he logged in 274 yards and two touchdowns.ย  The smallest man on the team continually steps up and keeps us in games.ย  Mangini needs to take Washington out to a fancy meal this week.ย  He very well might be the only reason Mangini still has a job.

The offense looked worse than it did in week 1.ย  After watching Favre stink up the game for three quarters I was actually starting to hope for Kellen Clemens to come in and stop the interception-blood-letting. Then I see Favre in the middle of a scrum on the one yard line trying to push Thomas Jones into the end zone and remember who our quarterback is.ย  Heโ€™s a 39 year old man who has never missed a start; heโ€™s a 39 year old who is getting the ever-loving crap kicked out of him behind our underachieving offensive line; heโ€™s a 39 year old with more bruises that hurt worse than ever before; and heโ€™s a 39 year old man who, with a smile on his face,ย  will gladly dive into a pack of 300 pound beasts slugging it out if it might help his running back score 6 points.ย  This is the man I would go into battle with.ย  Did you see him blocking on Brad Smithโ€™s pass attempt?ย  We were losing to the worst team in the league and I couldnโ€™t help but clap and cheer.ย ย  The play was a bust but there was heart on that football field. What more can you ask for?

Well, how about a balanced offensive attack next week against Buffalo for starters?ย  Is it possible that Mangini and Tannenbaum are waaaaaaaaay over-thinking things?ย  You know, โ€œWell, they canโ€™t stop the run, so weโ€™ll pass and they wonโ€™t be expecting it.โ€ย  If they canโ€™t stop the run, then it doesnโ€™t matter if theyโ€™re expecting it or not.ย  Just cram the ball down their throats!ย  Buffalo is right now allowing 99.3 yards a game on the ground and 203 in the air.ย ย  That ranks their defense 13th both against the pass and the run.ย  Odd coincidence or harbinger of doom for the Bills?ย  Next weekend is Halloween weekend. Speaking of bad luck and witchcraftโ€ฆ the Jets are into Voodoo these days. Read it and jump in.ย  Congregation is fun.

Iโ€™m leaving you with this little comment about everybodyโ€™s favorite little Green Gummi Bear.ย  Keep pouring it on big fella!

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โ€œI know a lot of people look at Leon and look at his size. Thatโ€™s a big man โ€” just the rest of his body is invisible.โ€- Kris Jenkins

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