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There is an ongoing crisis that is taking place around the country, and it needs to be stopped. The only thing that gets me more upset than getting the first two legs of my three team parlay ...

Grown Men: Stop Wearing Football Jerseys in Public

by Scott Tully (Columnist)

44

1875 reads

Opinion

October 22, 2008


There is an ongoing crisis that is taking place around the country, and it needs to be stopped.

The only thing that gets me more upset than getting the first two legs of my three team parlay correct, only to lose the third, is grown men wearing football jerseys in public.

I have no problem with people showing their team's support and wearing a jersey at a game, but if you’re the guy who wears it doing errands around town, at your kids' soccer game, or at a bar, you need to fix it.

You’re not cool wearing a jersey, and it only shows me that you have never played past junior varsity football and you live through guys that could care less about you.

You shelling out 70 bones for their jersey is only putting more money in their pockets. The same money that you cry about them making on sports talk radio.

The only thing worse than a guy wearing a jersey at a bar is his significant other wearing a matching jersey. It's not cute when "Bob," weighing in at 285, and his wife, who looks like a defensive tackle for the Washington Redskins, are both wearing Tony Romo jerseys.

"Bob," you can barely throw a football 10 yards, and the only time you did was as a kid in the summer when you'd throw the ball to your friends as they jumped in the pool because you sat in a lawn chair with your shirt on and otter pop in the other hand.

Now, I shouldn't make fun of the woman because I know it wasn't her idea to show up matching, but still, you’re not Jessica Simpson in the luxury box watching your man throw touchdown passes. So take it off and instead put on his XXL tall tee from Wal-Mart and go to work on some buffalo wings together.

Guys have no excuse to ever wear a jersey outside of a football stadium, and women are allowed to wear a jersey outside the stadium for one reason only: if and only if they hook up with a guy at a bar and the next morning are allowed to work around the house with it on. 

There are only three types of people who are allowed to wear jerseys:

1.) Any kid under the age of 14. Eighth grade is the last grade I will allow someone to wear his favorite athlete's jersey before I make fun of that person. That being said, the kid better know about the athlete is he is rocking. It better not be some gift your aunt gave you for Christmas, but instead you wanted it because you respect the athlete's game.

2.) Any girl in high school who wears her boyfriend’s opposite color jersey at games. Nothing is better then seeing a cute high school girl in a No. 66 and asking yourself how did Jimbo at right guard pull and get this girl.

Also, knowing that once this girl leaves for college from her small town, Jimbo will be left working at the factory while his girlfriend that left him is now jocking jersey No. 88 along with 5,000 other coeds at game days on Saturday.

3.) Anyone mentally challenged. How could you make fun of a guy in velcro shoes proudly wearing his 1998 Puma Peyton Manning jersey? I dare anyone to tell him the player they’re wearing sucks.

So please, all guys who wear jerseys outside the stadium, please list them on eBay. I'm sure, in this economy, you could use the money.

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43 comments Last one added 26 days ago — Leave a Comment

  1. Andy Lawson 8 months ago

    i will rep the steve anyday

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  2. Triple-S Go Browns 8 months ago

    Good Take

    And I Agree somewhat.

    (coming from someone who played High School ball, all four years :))

    I do agree that if you're above the age of 8th grade a jersey shouldn't really be worn on days other than the day before a game, the day of the game, and the day after, a three day period sounds pretty fair.

    I also do agree that folks like the aforementioned Bob do get ones nerves. We had a lot of "bobs" at my high school in particular who would rock Steelers jerseys to piss off the hometown Browns fans, who ironically were the ones that usually played sports, and knew about the game. Generally it got really old whenever they'd be asked questions about the sport or the team, and they'd be completely clueless about it.

    You should add that to the rules of Jersey wearing: Don't wear it, UNLESS you know about the player and some general information about the franchise.

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  3. Samuel Lam 8 months ago

    I'm wearing my McNabb jersey today on my way to class. I have shamed myself

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  4. Jamal Collier 8 months ago

    I disagree.

    Being from a city that doesn't even have an NBA team, I feel that wearing jerseys helps show my support of the players and teams who I won't be able to go see play on a nightly basis.

    I got a David Robinson (good guy) when I was really young, but my next jersey after that didn't come until I was around 13, I think.

    I got my first NFL jersey (Peterson) this summer.

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  5. Joe Willett 8 months ago

    I usually don't wear a football jersey other than the day of a game or the Friday/Monday before/after the game if they won/showing support, as a high school senior. I think it's acceptable to wear the jerseys on those days. I saw a kid at my school wearing a PEYTON MANNING JERSEY today...a Wednesday. I thought that was a little excessive, especially after the whooping he took on Sunday.

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    • Joe Willett 8 months ago

      Also, adults can wear a jersey to a bar the day of the game, if his team loses the game and he shows up with the same jersey at night, he must change...especially if his team is a hometown team, that is just drudging up things that nobody in that bar wants to think about.

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  6. Tommy 8 months ago

    This is an interesting article, but I have to disagree. Like many articles here say, sports are people's way out of the real world, and most people who wear their football jerseys commonly are die-hards who want to support the team they root for.

    Again, interesting take, but I strongly disagree.

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  7. Bob Cunningham 8 months ago

    2.) Any girl in high school who wears her boyfriend’s opposite color jersey at games. Nothing is better then seeing a cute high school girl in a #66 and asking yourself how did Jimbo at right guard pull and get this girl.

    Also, knowing that once this girl leaves for college from her small town, Jimbo will be left working at the factory while his girlfriend left him and is now jocking jersey #88 with 5,000 other coeds at game days on Saturday.

    haha i liked that one.

    especially since in high school i had a cute little bitty wearin my #73 jersey. now im going to be playing center at division 2 kutztown U, and my 6'0 280 pound ass will have another cute little bitty wearin my jersey. so, exception to the rule?

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  8. Jeremy Kaufman 8 months ago

    Sorry, but I pretty much disagree with just about everything you said. Interesting topic though.

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  9. Tim Seeman 8 months ago

    love the picture...jeff query? don beebe? bill schroeder? that's probably the three of them reminiscing about their playing days. (drunken yell from jeff query after a greg jennings touchdown catch: "screw this jennings guy...everyone knows who the REAL 85 is!")

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  10. Don Zak 8 months ago

    Scott I think you miss the point of your picture and what wearing certain jerseys might mean to grown men.

    Think of the NFL player, brief career long gone, body broken down and injured, still being remembered by that guy with the mullet wearing your jersey still after ten years? It's respect for the efforts and sacrifices these guys make.

    Besides, I guess only you can afford $300+ for a ticket, parking and drinks at a game.

    That leaves the rest of us like Joe above and joe 6-packs to watch the game from the local, dark, stale beer smelling pub in our neighborhood while you sit in comfort eating brie and apples with cheerleaders! Like hell I am going to wear my jersey there, it's the closest I get to seeing a real game and feeling like a part of something.

    That pic is awesome BTW. A great collection of the whitest WR to ever wear the green and gold. Well maybe paul koffman should be in there or 89 too!

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  11. Michael Cline 8 months ago

    Very well written piece Scott, but the topic is just ridiculous.

    If a dude wants to wear his NFL or college jersey, who's to stop him?

    I applaud!

    I say we need more people in the streets wearing jerseys!

    I would love to walk into my bank on Friday afternoon to see the employees adorned in football apparel.

    Kids shouldn't be pushed to wear embarrassing plaid uniforms to school. Instead, let them show their young fanhood by showing the team they support.

    Our state senators and congressman should have to wear a jersey from the state they were elected from! How much money are they spending on those suits anyways? Get a pair of jeans and a Bernie Kosar jersey and get to work!

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  12. Chaz Mattson 8 months ago

    Scott

    You couldn't be more right and oh so very wrong. While I am now aaaaa ~ let's just say an aging dude. I've collected and amassed a number of jerseys over the years (which some could be sold on ebay). Most were gifts given to me, but some I bought. It will always be my choice on how I feel as to weather or not I want to wear them. I will usually never wear them in public unless there is a big game, but I'm all for guys that want to wear them in the camera eye. Sports brings out the kid in all of us, and it has been somewhat proven that clinging to you youth is somewhat healthy for you in the long run.

    Women aren't exactly stimulated by a beer drinking, jersey wearing, older guy scene. I sort of feel your article is worth a mention somewhere for bringing the topic up. The reality is "every girls crazy about a sharp dressed man" and jerseys don't really qualify, but why be so judge-mental? If the shirt fits wear it.

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  13. Angel Navedo 8 months ago

    NEVER!

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  14. Danny Penza 8 months ago

    I thought people dropping "we" like a bunch of idiots is the thing that pissed you off the most???

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  15. Bryan Ford 8 months ago

    Wearing a jersey of your favorite team or player is fine.. what is most horrific is the fan that gets their own name put on the back...........

    oh.... and the school I teach at lets teachers wear the jersey of their favorite college on Fridays. It helps build excitement with the kids and shows them that college is something to be excited about. Of course your article was from the NFL point of view.

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  1. Sayre Bedinger 8 months ago

    1998 Puma jerseys?! HAHA!! That is G-R-E-A-T. HOWEVER...I will wear Denver Broncos jerseys until I am buried, heck, I may even be buried in one. Not really obviously, but I love jerseys. I wouldn't ever wear one if it meant someone had to ask me why.

    I will always wear a Broncos jersey when it correlates to a Broncos event: Draft, games, training camp, day after victory, and reebok support your squad friday. The only rule against jersey wearing should be for uneducated people like those that still wear a Favre Pakers jersey, or a Moss/Culpepper Vikes jersey, or any player that is not a team legend and has moved on to another team and is still playing. Otherwise, I could respect "Bob" if he was wearing, say, a XXXXL Atari Bigby

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  2. alejandro lopez 8 months ago

    idiot

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  3. alejandro lopez 8 months ago

    idiot

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  4. alejandro lopez 8 months ago

    ANY PERSON CAN WEAR WHATEVER THE HELL THAT THEY WANT TO WEAR!!!!! YOU WILL MAKE FUN OF THEM?????? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??????? YOU ARE PROBABLY SOME FAT PIECE EATING AT THIS VERY MOMENT!!!!!! WRITE SOMETHING THAT MEANS SOMETHING!!! O AND LOSE SOME WEIGHT FAT PIECE!!!!!

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  5. John Fennelly 8 months ago

    Good stuff.....the NFL Shop should have out of shape and mature models in their catalog to demonstrate how ridiculous these people look..
    JF

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  6. Patrick Yore 8 months ago

    This is spot on. Hilarious. I agree with everything and it's sad but true. But, my favorite jersey is my Walter Payton I got this year. I wear it not to make myself look cool, but to spread the good word about a great man.

    Keep up the great writing.

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  7. Jarrod Seybolt 8 months ago

    I think wear a jersey on gameday is acceptable for anybody of any age. I must say I read this article and I wondered do you think more about sports or more about fashion?

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    • Scott Tully 8 months ago

      Jarrod I thought it was a no-brianer, of course I care about fashion more. Why I joined this site to spread my fashion knowledge.

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  8. Evan Koch 8 months ago

    "Peyton Manning 1998 Puma Jersey"! That made me laugh. Nice work on the article. What about dudes going to the club in ugly-ass 1985 Phillies and Astros jerseys, or pussy-looking Vinny Testaverde Buccaneers jerseys?

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  9. Stephen Sabo 8 months ago

    Funny article...I do have to point out a couple things...picking on mentally handicaped people with velcro shoes is one thing...but saying Peyton Manning sucks...that's a whole other thing. Big Ben's my quarterback...but I gotta give props to Payton!

    Also, fat Bob's with fat wives fit for Redskins linemen wearing Romo jerseys...that's (arguably) the biggest rivalry in football (I'll take the Burgh and Cleveland). A fat wife big enough to play for the Redskins will most likely wear a Redskins jersey and not turn to the dark side that is Dallas.

    I do agree...grown men shouldn't wear jerseys in social settings...but they shouldn't grow mullets, wear NASCAR jackets, or get skull (or dragon) tattoos anwhere visible on their bodies...but they do. Go figure. If you're going to be wrong...do it right!

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    • Scott Tully 8 months ago

      Where did I write Peyton Manning sucks?
      And Bob's wife on Redskins, I was describing how ugly she looks.
      But thanks for breaking down my article.

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    • Stephen Sabo 8 months ago

      Hey Scott,

      Once again, I thought the article is hysterical...and perhaps I misjudged the comment...so I'll post the exact phrase from the very bottom of the article.

      3.) Anyone mentally challenged. How could you make fun of a guy in velcro shoes proudly wearing his 1998 Puma Peyton Manning jersey? I dare anyone to tell him the player they’re wearing sucks.

      Cheers, Steve

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  10. Ryan Burns 8 months ago

    ahhh the great jersey debate.

    my dad (patriots season ticket holder since the early 80's has said over and over agin that he will never wear another man's name on his back. however i have to disagree and dont find anything weird about wearing a richard seymour jersey whenever I damn well please.

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  11. Ryan Thomas 8 months ago

    Otter Pops.LOL. You didn't.

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  12. Chris Reis 8 months ago

    I have to kind of disagree with this article. It is alright for anyone to show there team support at any point by wearing the jersey of a player they idol out on the field. Now the thing that should be completely outlawed is those personalized jerseys. Why would a person want to put their own name on the back of a jersey and pay more money then to just buy the jersey of a person who is actually playing the game. I think there are really pointless, yet people still buy them and walk around boasting their name on their favorite teams jersey. So stupid

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  13. Kristin Hamlin 8 months ago

    I 100% agree with this article when it relates to guys wearing jerseys outside of a stadium...seriously. Girls on the other hand can get a way with it. I suspect most men find it quite attractive seeing a woman representing a player she probably just thinks is cute, but regardless, men find it sexy. Trust me.
    When a guy is at the bar wearing his team's hat and/or shirt--it's awesome. When he is wearing the jersey--I walk the other way. I have a whole group of girlfriends that agree with me on this one :)

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  14. Adam Lindemer 8 months ago

    I wear whatever I want when I want to!! Nobody is gonna tell me what to wear/or what not to. I'm not ashamed to show my support for teams or players at any time.

    I'M A MAN (not 40), I'm not a kid, so come after me!! (Oh, Mike Gundy, that quote will never get old).

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  15. John Lorge 8 months ago

    What about the t-shirt jersey??? you dont see em so much for football, but they are big for baseball and NBA too!

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  1. Tony Bishop 8 months ago

    Personally, I agree on everything except for the "in public" thing. Why should I get punished by not being able to go to the game? No, if it's game day, jersey is on. Regardless of where I'm going.

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  2. Zachary Nichols 8 months ago

    I disagree somewhat. As campy as it sounds, I feel there is nothing better than my family and I parading around in our favorite NFL team's jersey on game day to support them. I do, however, feel that at some point jerseys should be retired. I can't stand to see someone walking around with one that is 15 years old, has apparently been washed 10,000 times and you can't even see the player name or number on the thing. It's time for a new jersey, Cledus.

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  3. Thomas Murray 8 months ago

    Clever. Cute and snippy. So is my neighbors annoying Yorkshire terrier.

    New Article: The People Allowed to Write Articles About Football.
    - your name wouldnt be on that list, unless you wear a dress and trick one of the Bleacher Report big wigs that you'll pleasure them for publishing such rubbish. For shame.

    - Oh wait, I get it. Your girlfriend stole your computer sign-in ID and wrote that article in your name.
    - Either that or you are one of those gelded teenage opera singers whose nuts were removed to prevent testosterone from deepening the vocal chord and ruining that sweet, high pitched choir boy voice.

    There is no way that a man wrote that article. There is no way. If so, heaven help you.

    Lock yourself in a room with a stack of Stallone / Lundgren / Chuck Norris and eats lots of red meat. There may be time to save you, Susie, but if you have a problem with guys wearing football jerseys, then either you are a worthless a-hole, or there is no hope for you whatsoever.

    Dear author's girlfriend. It isnt nice to snoop on BF's computer and then write feminine minded articles. Please stop, you are poisoning the sporting community.

    signed - an actual football fan

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    • Scott Tully 8 months ago

      Thomas very funny and clever. I'm sorry a guy like you has to wear a jersey every weekend to fell part of the game.
      See like a real athlete like myself who has played college football and is currently playing baseball I laugh at a joke like yourself getting on me. So while you wear your jersey at a bar, then go home and spoon your pillows in bed, I will be the guy in the bar watching th game knowing more about football then you ever could and then picking up whatever girl I want.
      Guys like you wearing jerseys at bars make it so much easier fro normal guys like myslef to get a girl because no girl wants to be with a guy who has to live through another man.

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  4. Thomas Murray 8 months ago

    Dear Scott Tully's girlfriend (that actually wrote that article)

    it isnt nice to hack your bf's computer and post such obviously feminine rhetoric. It makes him look like a total queen.

    signed - football jersey wearing guys all over the US

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  5. Jingle Jangle 5 months ago

    scott tully is obviously an ass clown. Though I feel where he is coming from on some points. Lets be serious though if the guy went to a bar and clowned every guy wearing a football jersey he would be cruising for a bruising. So simmer down Mr.I played varsity football in high school so im too tough to rock my teams jersey.

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  6. Vya Wend 26 days ago

    Why? It my right to wear my favorite football jersey, out or in. That is nothing wrong.

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    • About the Author Scott Tully (columnist)

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