Washington Redskins: Albert Haynesworth's 5 Biggest Party Fouls

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There is always that one guy at a party that has to ruin it for everybody, and I think Albert Haynesworth might be that guy.

You know that one guy who ends up drinking too much and puking all over the place. Or he’s the idiot who ends up breaking your favorite coffee mug, using your toothbrush, and falling over and ruining your extensive Backstreet Boys discography collection.

You know that guy?

Even worse, it’s the very same guy who tries to steal the girl you're talking to the very next weekend but claims that it’s cool because you know all about it and that you're “bros.”

I hate that guy, and if you don’t know who I’m talking about, that means you are that guy.

I think Albert Haynesworth is that guy.

Like most "that guys" do, he forgot about the five essential rules to having a good experience at a party.

Here are Albert Haynesworth’s five biggest party fouls.

5. Don't Steal from the Host

Mitchell Layton/Getty Images

It is common knowledge that if somebody invites you to their wicked awesome party, there is no way you should ever even consider touching their money, let alone stealing.

The Washington Redskins pretty much invited Haynesworth to the best house party ever when they handed him a seven-year, $100 million deal.

Instead of enjoying the drinks, music and atmosphere, he decided to ransack the house and steal all their money.

Party foul number one…

4. Don't Curb Stomp

Everybody knows that the curb stomp is a bad move.

Why Haynesworth thought he could get away with it with a whole stadium full of people watching him, plus a TV audience, and the replay technology that we possess nowadays, is beyond me.

Bad move Albert.

Party foul number two…

3. Don't Mess with the Driver

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You just don’t mess with the guy who has the keys, because generally he is really the only person who has a brain.

Apparently, Haynesworth was not okay with the way that a man in Virginia was driving.

The story is that one fateful Wednesday morning a man in a Honda Civic made a “non-verbal hand gesture”, my guess is a thumbs up, to a driver in a pickup truck—alleged to be Haynesworth.

At the intersection, the pickup truck driver felt it was best to get out of his car and strike the man in the Civic.

Party foul number three…

2. Don't Knock Up Strippers

Personally I thought that this was a no brainer, but apparently some people have trouble in this area.

A stripper tried to sue Haynesworth for $10 million, claiming that he would not provide emotional and financial support to her when she got pregnant with his alleged child.

The court dropped it because they had no jurisdiction over Haynesworth, but really, what was the stripper expecting!

Emotional support!?

See the curb stomp slide for evidence to back up my point

Party foul number four…

1. Sexual Harassment Is a No-No

This is the number one rule in the book of life, let alone the party foul book.

Sexual harassment is an absolute debauchery of a crime, and unfortunately for Albert Haynesworth, that is exactly what he was accused of.

A waitress, at the downtown D.C. W Hotel, claimed that Haynesworth sat at her table and groped her breast without consent.

The story is that he asked if it was okay to stick his credit card in her blouse. The waitress apparently nodded yes, so Haynesworth commenced, but he took it a step further and caressed her breast.

Everybody knows that even if there is “consent” to do something stupid like that, you really shouldn’t, especially being such a prolific name.

Sexual harassment is a no-no; we shouldn’t have to explain this to you Albert.

Party foul number five...

Five Strikes...

Get Out!!!!!!!!

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