Ten Things That Will Happen This Weekend: Week Eight

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Ten Things That Will Happen This Weekend: Week Eight

It's Friday, which means I have yet another chance to embarrass myself with 10 seemingly random and mostly unintelligent predictions for the weekend.

I took last weekend off (sorry), but I'm back this week ready to go. I've had my bye week to rest up and make adjustments, and Tebow is going down.

For those of you unfamiliar with this weekly column of mine (can I call it a column?), it's pretty easy to follow. I make 10 predictions for the week ahead. Not every prediction is related to the outcome of a game, and the 10th prediction each week is an attempt to guess who Corso will pick.

The following week, I see how I did, giving myself +1 for every correct answer and -1 for every incorrect answer.

As the season kicked off, I was doing pretty well, and I officially challenged Tim Tebow to see who could score more points/touchdowns. Tebow got off to a slow start, but he quickly caught up and held a commanding 8 to -2 lead going into Week Six. Let's see how I did last time (Week Six):

  • Shockingly (or perhaps not), there was no upset in the Big 12 two weeks ago. (-1)
  • Illinois beat Michigan. So did Toledo, but unfortunately I only picked Illinois, so while I don't get a point from Toledo's win, I did get to laugh a lot—and I hear laughing helps you live longer. So, yay me. (+1)
  • Jarrett Dillard scored a touchdown. In unrelated news, the sun set in the west. (+1)
  • Rice and Tulsa combined for more than 80 points. (+1)
  • Northwestern was ranked. They're not anymore, but they were, and that's what matters. (+1)
  • Terrelle Pryor showed Mark May he can handle the big stage. For those keeping track at home, you can also substitute "handle the big stage" with the phrases "take a sack," "go through his progressions twice before taking a sack," "refuse to throw the ball away," or "break open the occasional game-changing play that will convert thousands of Buckeye fans." (+1)
  • Beanie Wells had a fantastic game against Wisconsin, but no Heisman love—not that he (or anyone who misses three games) deserves any. (+1)
  • Javon Ringer finally stopped his one-man assault on Big Ten defenses for a week. (-1)
  • UConn/UNC was not very entertaining. I was disappointed. (-1)
  • Corso pulled the pump fake and decided atthelastminute (yeah, okay) not to pick Vanderbilt. Good call, coach. (-1)

So, 6/10. That brings me out of the negative numbers, at least. Tebow, on the other hand, threw two more touchdowns in Week Six, taking his count up to 10. Also, before anyone asks, since I did not participate in this last weekend, Tebow's numbers (which conveniently enough were good) will be overlooked and not counted.

After six weeks, the scoreboard reads:

  • Tim Tebow: 10
  • Ned Dutton: 0

Luckily for me, Tebow has another bye week this week—so the comeback is on. I'll just slowly whittle away at his lead, and before he knows it I will have taken my lead back once and for all (and, since I doubt he'll ever hear about this, this seems like a safe bet).

Without further ado, Ten Things That Will Happen This Weekend:

 

1. Texas will win.

I know some people think it's sexy to continue to pick the No. 1 team to lose (mostly because, for the past two seasons, the No. 1 team has lost a lot), but it's not happening this week.

I had faith in Texas before the Red River Shootout (which, by the way, is such an appropriate name for the game those two teams played last week), and I have faith in them now. That being said...

 

2. Jeremy Maclin will score twice.

I don't know how he's going to do it. Frankly, I don't care. He's amazing. Maybe he'll catch one. Maybe he'll return one. Maybe he'll run one. Heck, maybe he'll throw one. As I said, I think Missouri will lose, but not because of No. 9.

 

3. Ohio State will beat Michigan State on Terrelle Pryor's arm.

With Beanie Wells, Terrelle Pryor (the runner), and Javon Ringer in the same stadium, many expect this game to won on the ground. Not me.

I think Michigan State will beg Pryor to throw the ball by putting an army in the box to stop the run. After a couple of unsuccessful drives, I think Ohio State will open it up, and they will win not because of Pryor's or Wells' legs, but because of Pryor's passing ability and the skill of the Ohio State wide receivers.

The Ohio State defense would have a big part in the win too, but I'm just focusing on the offensive side of the ball.

 

4. Graham Harrell will throw for more than 350 yards.

It's been a while since I made a Graham Harrell prediction, but he's back. Harrell has fallen off a lot of Heisman short lists in the past couple of weeks, but in my imaginary Fantasy College Football league he's still a Top Five pick.

This week he goes up against Texas A&M, who actually has the No. 14 Pass Defense in the nation. You can tell I did my research, because my prediction was going to be 400 yards before I learned that the Aggies only give up 162 passing yards/game.

 

5. Penn State will force four turnovers.

I'm really torn on this one. Should I have worded it "Penn State will force four turnovers," or "Michigan will gift wrap four turnovers for Penn State"?

Penn State has 11 interceptions this year and is 18th nationally with a turnover margin of +1.14. Michigan has had eight passes picked off this year and is 114th nationally with a turnover margin of -1.33.

 

6. Boise State will not knock themselves out of the BCS conversation.

BYU ended its dream last night, leaving Boise State as the heir apparent (sorry, Utah, you just don't have the name recognition or the Statue of Liberty memories) to the title of "BCS Crasher." Boise State hosts last year's "BCS Crasher," Hawaii, this week, but Hawaii no longer has June Jones or Colt Brennan. Advantage: Boise State.

 

7. LSU will lose to South Carolina.

WHOA. You thought you could tell where this post was going, with pansy predictions lining up one after another. I bet I caught you off guard.

Is this such a ridiculous pick though? South Carolina boasts the nation's third-best defense, and Spurrier was born to coach under the lights on national TV. LSU could easily be looking ahead to UGA and Co. next week, and unless they fixed a lot of their defensive problems in practice this week, they could be in for a long night.

 

8. Navy will beat Pitt.

Navy is averaging 313 rushing yards per game. Pitt has a decent defense, but nothing that can slow down that attack. Navy will get ahead early, and run out the clock (literally) to an upset (does this count as an upset?) win at Pitt.

At the end of the game, Mark May will shed a single tear, and then man up and blame the outrageous loss on something irrational.

 

9. Harvard will beat Lehigh.

This marks my first Ivy League prediction. Enjoy it while it lasts.

As for the game, I don't know which team is better or who should win. But if any team can figure out how to win, you'd think it would be Harvard.

 

10. Corso will pick Texas.

Kirk told him if he picks the Longhorns, Corso will get to hang out with the cheerleaders.

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