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Monday January 14, 7:36 A.M. Lew Sterrett Correctional Facility: First of all, I’d like to thank the girl I went to the game with for bailing me out although I’m still not sure what happened...

Liver’s 2008 NFL Playoff Picks: Conference Championship Games

by Adnan Tezer (Senior Writer)

3

1,589 reads

Sports

January 18, 2008


Monday January 14,  7:36 A.M. Lew Sterrett Correctional Facility: 

 

First of all, I’d like to thank the girl I went to the game with for bailing me out although I’m still not sure what happened. This much I do know: the Cowboys blew it..plain and simple. And to the f***ing Giants and Eli Manning of all teams.  As for what happened after, as Michael J. Fox said in Bright Lights, Big City, “the terrain isn’t entirely unfamiliar although the details are fuzzy.”

 

I do know that I went downtown for a consolation drink, then went Mel Gibson/Joe Pesci on some Giants fan’s head and it mysteriously got rammed between a car door and the car..REPEATEDLY and VIGOROUSLY.  How it happened, police are still investigating.

 

Thank god this season is just about over. I’m getting too old for this. Then again, my new girlfriend seems pretty loyal and was even turned on by the minor display of childish violence. Maybe I won after all? Better make this quick. I’m due in court for these pesky assault charges. Seems my Giants friend hasn’t completely recovered from his coma.

 

I have a bad feeling these games are going to be blowouts and therefore VERY boring.

 

Of course it goes without saying that the following picks against the spread are for recreational use only. Only Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Kiefer Sutherland, Roger Goodell and Travis Henry's nine kids and nine mommas would be drunk enough to question the Esteemed Liver's picks.

Last week’s record: 3-1

Overall 2007 Playoff Record: 5-2-1

 

San Diego (+14) at New England

 

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3 comments Last one added about 1 year ago — Leave a Comment

  1. Adnan Tezer about 1 year ago

    Rule no. 345...NEVER make picks when you're hungover and on your way to court. Damn.

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  2. Paul Gillon about 1 year ago

    I thought I was feeling better. What ifs are haunting me again with greater frequency. The Giants? Oh my God (of which I have none by the way). NY could do it. I certainly hope so. If New England wins, then a shroud of darkness will envelope the world for a thousand years, and humanity will end up enslaved by malevolent demons. It will indeed be the Apocalypse.

    RGDS

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  3. Adnan Tezer about 1 year ago

    I think I'll be rooting for the Giants too albeit with a heavy heart. Either way whichever team wins is going to be unbearable.

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