It has come to my attention that most of you now fancy yourselves writers for Cracked.com.
If it's not in a tidy list with bullets, boasting cute little punchlines (not even counting the endless Top 10 Joke articles—what is this, David Letterman Report?) you're not reading it.
I propose we shy away from abusing the format. Here's why. Don't worry, I won't make you read paragraphs. It's a list. A Top 10 list.
10) Comedy writers: You can write a funny article without recycling tired old jokes that everyone knows already.
What's the difference between a Red Sox fan and a nun? Nothing funny. You suck. Get over it.
9) We're fomenting laziness (look up "fomenting," I'm not using a synonym). By promising a reader just 10 things they'll have to read, you make it accessible, but not in a good way.
You're limiting yourself to writing 10 things, and you're limiting the reader. God forbid they would have to read more than four paragraphs.
Hell, they might even say they learneded something today. Ha-hyuk! We don't want that do we?
8) It's becoming a meme. Look, I'm not going to sit here and say we should stop writing these lists altogether, hell—I've written a few.
But it gets boring to come to b/r and see nothing but Top 10 lists on the front page.
Remember when you got Rickrolled for the first time? How hilarious and fresh it was?
Remember when you got Rickrolled for 284th time? Not so funny.
7) It takes away from some pretty damn good articles out there. Half of the comments on these articles go like this:
"Chuck
about an hour ago
well uh i only liekd 1 of da 10 but that1 wuz funny lol 5 starzz potd lol"
Meanwhile, someone busts their ass for hours or days trying to get trim and edit a poignant article or get an interview and no one bats an eyelash.
6) They're clumsily titled. "The Top 10 Times I Made My Sister Laugh During A Football Game With Some Noise I Made To Describe My Excited State" Oops, a tad too long.
Better edit that into an acronym. "The Top 10 TIMSLDAFGWSNIMTDMES." Perfect.
5) They're mostly about inane topics. Really, who cares about the Top 10 jokes about a certain team? Hell, couldn't we adapt the jokes to most any team? The Top 10 Hairstyles for Baseball Players 1929-1935? Are we really reading this?
4) You're pissing off people who suffer from OCD. What if these people only read lists that end in odd numbers? What about High Fidelity? Why not a Top five list? Are you better than John Cusack? Are you?
48 comments Last one added 7 months ago — Leave a Comment
Michelle Alves 9 months ago
Oh God, no more rick rolling please :P I'll do anything!
nice article...
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
Thanks! Wanna click on this seemingly innocuous link? Just kidding.
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Jameson Fleming 9 months ago
100% agree.
The number of articles on this site that are stupid lists is just pathetic. Too many writers resort to those for reads. I wish people built up their readership through good articles rather than idiotic lists.
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
High five, buddy.
Thanks for your comment.
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M Brian Ladner 9 months ago
I couldn't agree more with your top ten list. I especially liked numbers 8 and 9, as it's not often on here, or in general, that I get to read the word "meme" or "fomenting." (BTW, not only did i like your use of "fomenting," but also your unwillingness to pander to the masses and dumb it down.)
I would only add, at least partially for reasons having to do with my own ego, that the lists themselves are not necessarily a problem. I wouldn't mind seeing lists, but at least make them fresh. Not to say my take on the list is the be-all-and-end-all, but i think it is possible to make a good list that is entertaining, informative, and/or humorous.
As an example, I offer my "18 Quotes About Kyle Busch." They are quotes I compiled and/or transcribed from various interviews and into which I put a fair amount of work. Add to that the little headline twist that he happens to drive the No. 18 and you have something a little fresher than the "Top X" lists you are writing about.
I must admit, however, that I'm glad I'm a Kyle Busch fan and wrote about him instead of say, Carl Edwards, who drives the No. 99. "99 Quotes About Carl Edwards" is not a task I'd like to take on. My point, there are some good cases to be made for such lists, but as you noted, not everything should be boiled down to "10 Whatevers" just to fit the mold. Mix it up a little and be creative people!!!
Bottom line, kudos on exposing the trend toward writing to the lowest common denominator.
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
Thanks for your comments. I agree with every single one of them. I read your article, by the way. It was one of the exceptions to the rule.
Keep doing what you're doing, man.
Lists will never go away, sadly. But if you have to write one, make it interesting!
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M Brian Ladner 9 months ago
Thanks for the read and the compliment on my article and on my comment. I must admit, the allure of the top ten list is a strong one. It is so strong in fact that i actually woke up in the middle of the night with ideas for some and went to the computer and made a list of lists to write.
Luckily, I read it in the light of day and decided that although I'm sure I could put out a few with a little something new, the world doesn't need another batch of top-ten lists to digest like so much flavorless fiber designed to pass right through the reader, pushing anything of substance out along the way.
The only one I found interesting enough to follow up on and start once my mind was fully functioning was "18 Things About the Number 18." None of the "things" had anything to do with sports but with the visual and mathematical properties of the number 18 itself. I thought about publishing it as a spoof on the top ten lists, but found other more interesting things to spend my time developing.
Maybe for fun I should finish writing the spoof and publish it, if for no other reason than to prove the points you've made here. I'm sure I could get a lot of reads and comments, most of them from people believing I was serious. But good comments or bad, it's the numbers that make me popular, no?
;-)
Again, great job.
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Anthony Sanchez 9 months ago
Amen to that!
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Anthony Sanchez 9 months ago
Amen to that!
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
Ya-yeah! Put your hands in the air, urrbody!
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Justin Goar 9 months ago
lol gud stuff man.
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
lol no five starzz potd lol?
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Justin Goar 9 months ago
as the past author of two top 20 lists........no.
ahhhh just kiddin, 5* POTD!!!!!
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
lol
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Steven Ho 9 months ago
Hey Eric. First time I've discovered one of your articles and I enjoyed it. Witty.
I dunno about your premise though. Maybe the problem isn't the articles. I mean, shouldn't the voting system 'hide' these sort of articles, unless they're really good?
Maybe the problem is in how we're all voting. I mean, 5 stars is very general, and we've all got our own measures. I vote very harshly and have only ever given out one or two 5 stars, but I can understand some people who will give one 5 star every day.
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
Oh yeah, we're giving out five stars like candy on Halloween.
Totally agree. However, it's very, very true that these types of articles are getting more views and comments as a general rule than other articles that are usually more original and better researched.
Most of the articles I've read recently are filled with recycled ideas, content and meant to be coattails to other articles that have gained attention.
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Mitch at sportschatplace.com 9 months ago
I give either 5 stars or 1 star to every article, kind of like stumble upon and everywhere else, it's either thumbs up or thumbs down
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
You know, on StumbleUpon, you have the option of not rating it and just clicking 'Stumble' again...
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Steven Ho 9 months ago
That's what I mean. Of course we're not gonna get consistently good results on the front page if everybody is voting differently. That's not mitch's fault... I'm just saying. That's the cause...
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
Not sure I follow but I'm in agreement with your original point, Steven.
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Yoosof Farah 9 months ago
totally agree with you eric. although i myself have written a top 10 list before, i although i feel mine was different from all the rest because it was about my local football (soccer) team here in england, gillingham fc, and i wrote 10 reasons why i love gillingham fc, in an attempt to promote my local team to you guys in america. also, do you think my top 5 lists are still okay, e.g my top 5 epl players article i do after every matchday weekend? anyway, "lol gud stuff man", "lol 5 starzz potd lol".
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
Everyone writes lists every now and then.
I just wrote a grocery list...
Kidding. I read your Gillingham FC article and I found it to be a good one. An exception to the rule, no doubt.
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Jameson Fleming 9 months ago
Also half the time that people write these lists they have no authority. I hate the fan-base orientated or stadium orientated lists. 99% of the people who've made that kind of list have never been to all those stadiums mentioned. Lists like that should be reserved for senior media members that have seen it all.
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
Most of the time they're poaching opinions from hearsay or someone else's better, more articulate article somewhere else on the Internet. Completely agree.
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Mitch at sportschatplace.com 9 months ago
Ummm the media knows what they're doing????? think about that for a second.
THEY VOTED CLEMSON PRE SEASON #9, they had Clemson ranked again last week. They are bought and apid for by the corporations who buy advertising in their publication or on their network.
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
Right. And most people had Indianapolis primed to be back in the Super Bowl this season. Everyone can be wrong, I suppose?
Also, this is just one site. How many publications on the Internet or elsewhere are out there that talks about this stuff? Or all they all bought and controlled by the same media conglomerate bent on molding minds and opinions, you know, because we're all sheep controlled by the man.
I've got the munchies.
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Thomas 9 months ago
i was working on my top 10 greatest bleacher creatures articles! dangit. lol.
i agree with some of what you said Eric. I'll quit for a bit.
nice reasons.
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
You don't need to quit doing anything if you know your stuff is good. I think your track record speaks for itself.
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Thomas 9 months ago
haha, ok.
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Mitch at sportschatplace.com 9 months ago
Eric,
I apologize up front if I get off topic but I have been looking for a format and place to write this comment and as opposed to come off as flaming someone (and I know these people around here can be overly sensitive)I'm just going to fire away.
I have a blog, one that is pretty popular. If I write the type of articles that generally are given 5 stars and post of the day on the merits of being good writing I get next to ZERO traffic, just reality. If i write articles that are broken out into short, readable blurbs i get a little more. If I give away something other people are charging for i get a ridiculous amount of traffic. It's just the way of the world.
recently I was interviewed by one of the top ten bloggers in the world and on the podcast of the interview we had a similar discussion and laughed about how we had written articles that we thought we so good yet those also corresponded to some of our lowest traffic days, it's no coincidence. I use video on my blog and not so ironically my videos i get the most comments on are less than 3 minutes even though they are packed with original information so you would think the longer they want on the better.
It's about attention span and most people, if not you as well, have already tuned out of my comment but I think that some of the other commentators here need to get in touch with reality instead of touching themselves over their outstanding writing ability.
I went to one of what is commonly rated a top 5 school of communications in the country and while they taught me how to write I know that my writing is only as good as what the public perceives it to be. Ironically here on bleacher I have written articles that I thought were great but got less than 50 views because of placement. It isn't because of my writer ranking either because I'm in the top 10 or 15 writers overall regularly in college football.
Look at what's going on now at Bleacher. They make all of these claims about wanting to give people exposure and then move the ticker about their own writers and viewers articles further below the fold to make room for info from another site, WTF?
I write top ten lists because that's what people want to see and what they enjoy. They're easy for me to write and I do a weekly 10 top 10's which I'm sure you and some of these people who left comments would feel is way beneath them and what they know people should and shouldn't be reading. I know the readers enjoy them because on bleacher they are my most read articles.
I know on here i'm a nobody and it doesn't bother me. I have made bleacher friends with some of the best writers out there, I've also been exposed to plenty of miserable and sometimes self serving writing that remind me where to never go with my own stuff and points out just how bad some stuff can be. When I point these articles out to the writers and explain why I think their article is misinformed usually the author takes it personally and tries to report my comments to the guys who run this site with mixed results.
In closing, while in a perfect world everyone would enjoy watching Olivier act and reading Shakespere, most people prefer those guys from the Sarah Marshall movie and People Magazine.
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
It's ironic you wrote a comment longer than most of these articles you vehemently defend.
Just to be clear, I'm not bashing the USE of the format - I'm bashing the ABUSE of the format.
How can anyone justify retiring an entire style of writing well, anything? I'm just saying that if you're going to do it, for Pete's sake - do it right. Some of these articles have no place, they're badly written, they're nonsensical, they're redundant... I could go on.
The fact that I'm taking issue with it on a site like B/R is solely based on the fact that I have faith in the public, especially the writers on this site. If all you want to read is cheeky, light articles and Top 5, 10, or 20 lists then gear the site description to cater to that.
Variety is the word of the day, and we should practice what we preach. There are tons of good articles out there that aren't lists. Tons of stuff that can strike a chord with the heart, make you laugh, or make you think. In some very special cases, all three of those things can be attained.
For some reason, you think I'm trying to be snooty and self-serving by bashing those who try and appeal to the lowest common denominator, when that couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm trying to - through humor, mind you - that some of this stuff is just plain garbage.
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Mitch at sportschatplace.com 9 months ago
Eric,
I'm with you. There's some major drivel going on here and everywhere in every format. Then of course you have the people who just post articles for the sake of posting articles and maybe Bleacher should have a sub heading called "in case your ESPN.com isn't working" , subtitles: here is the same news (with nothing insightful added) that they wrote about several hours ago. To me those articles are worse as I've seen actual articles of games that were on TV written about because the author read an article about it and saw some highlights, what exactly is being brought to the table there? In any event at least they have this heading to get it all out in the open in.
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Ricky O'Neal 9 months ago
Some very relevant points here, obviously at time there is an audience for it but a lot of points made here need to be taken notice of, nice article.
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
Thank you for your comments. I know a couple of my points up there (especially the last one) are slanted towards pure tongue-in-cheekness, however I wouldn't have written it if I didn't have a valid gripe.
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Jamie Ward 9 months ago
well uh i only liekd 1 of da 10 but that1 wuz funny lol 5 starzz potd
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
Hahaha.
lol tnx u r da bom
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Jamie Ward 9 months ago
I tried a diferent idea and did a ''3 things i dislike'' aproach.
My article about liverpool is not very original in my eyes but thats because i know most of the things about my club.
I wanted the idea to be about finding things out about other clubs negatives that i wouldnt know unless i was a die hard supporter of that club in the hope it might create some positive conversation instead of the usual insult based comments that is present.
It hasnt really taken off yet :-)
I do agree with what you're saying in this article.
It gets tired and boring hearing the same jokes/insults that have been thrown around for 100 years.
And it does take away from some very well written articles.
I like to think i have at least one or two of my many (8) articles that have been researched and hours spent editing......only to get f**k all response......maybe i should write some ''top ten'' articles instead....
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
No, don't quit researching, don't quit thinking of good articles to write about. Don't give in, it's a slow process and you'll get your due soon enough.
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Jamie Ward 9 months ago
What does bug me is that i have had nearly 500 views in 2 hours on one article and no one can be arsed to even tell me if its shit or not....that annoys me sometimes on here...i like to think i have the decency to post at least something about an article......unless its a top ten list thats been recycled of course....
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Eric Gomez 9 months ago
Yeah, it's strange - and it will happen sometimes. I'll get 20 comments on an article viewed only 100 times and 1 comment on an article viewed 500 times on occasion, it's weird. Either way, as soon as you build a base and catch a few breaks here and there things will take off.
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Chris Rowlands 8 months ago
fantastice, I should make a top 10 list of list bashing articles now :)
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Eric Gomez 8 months ago
Haha, the more meta this gets - the better.
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Bryn Swartz 8 months ago
I think top 10 lists are fine as long as the reader elaborates on the topics
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Eric Gomez 8 months ago
The reader? How so?
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Bryn Swartz 8 months ago
My bad, the writer.
Check out my top 10 lists. I really enjoy making them. I think they get a lot of reads.
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RG Yoho 8 months ago
#3 is absolutely correct.
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Eric Gomez 8 months ago
And that's why they're more common on this site than many others.
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Brandon Johnson 7 months ago
I totally agree. Things like these take away from people who are trying to put out something like an actual sports article.
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