A couple of days ago, I attempted to lift the spirits of my fellow Padres fans by posting the ten best moments in San Diego Padres history. However, being a Friar fan has been traditionally defined by sporadic tastes of glory matched up to prolonged periods of misery.

Consider this a return to reality.

10. The Padres miss the playoffs by a fake run

This wound is still open, so much so that I've spent the last 15 minutes trying to find the replay again.

You can't blame this one fully on a blown call, as Jake Peavy—San Diego's ace—was less than stellar, and Trevor Hoffman, the MLB's all-time saves leader, was unable to close out the game as he gave up three runs while recording a whopping one out.

9. 1969-1977

Expansion teams are expected to be bad in the first few years they exist. This was especially true in the era before free agency. The Padres came in to the league a few years before Curt Flood made his famous case for freedom, and the Friars got steadily better when they were able to buy talent instead of relying solely on their farm system.

Even then, in their first six seasons—the Padres lost more than 100 games in four of their seasons. In 1970—when they didn't lose 100 times—they lost 99 times. In 1972, a strike prevented them from losing more than 95 games. Until 1978, the Padres' topped out at a lofty 73-89.

8. Roseanne "sings" the Star-Spangled Banner

In the early 90's, the Padres were owned by a group that included TV producer Tom Werner. As part of a publicity stunt to boost ratings for one of his shows, Mr. Werner decided to choose one of his stars to sing the National Anthem. It's not uncommon for actors to be good singers, so Werner made a logical choice by having Roseanne Barr sing The Star-Spangled Banner.

Yup. That Roseanne Barr.

I have a feeling that if anyone tried something like that today, they'd be halfway to Guantanamo before they could finish a verse.

7. These uniforms.

Enough said.

6. Padres select Matt Bush No. 1 in 2004

One thing you can look forward to every year if your team is terrible is having the first crack at the nation's most talented amateurs via the MLB draft.

In 2004, San Diego set a record for lazy scouting by drafting San Diego native Matt Bush with the No. 1 pick. In four years, Bush has: been suspended before playing a single game, broken his ankle and missed half a season, been switched to pitcher from his original position of shortstop, and, torn a ligament in his throwing arm and thus not being able to play again until at least 2009.

Other members of the 2004 draft class? Stephen Drew, Jered Weaver, Jeremy Sowers, Taylor Tankersley and Blake DeWitt.

5. The 1998 World Series

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