Your 2011 Lethal Lockdown Pay-Per-View! Can This Pay-Per-View Save TNA?
"Live to you from US Bank Arena in Cincinnati, Ohio!" announces the often dry play by play man Mike "The Professor" Tenay. If I had a professor like him, I'd take a back row seat and take a nice long nap.
"Lockdown! Violence! Mayhem! It's the definition of what hardcore wrestling is about!" yells the much more interesting Tazz.
As we all know, the Victory Road main event took TNA down a road not to victory, but to destruction. Jeff Hardy and Sting wrestled a minute long match reminiscent of the dying days of WCW.
However, the past is in the past. No need to worry, because a classic pay-per-view can push you in the right direction once again. This pay-per-view prediction can certainly revive TNA from the slump they are currently in right now.
This will be a pseudo-fantasy pay-per-view the Dixie Carter and the TNA regime needs to read, because it will have loads of potential show-stealing matches.
Kazarian (C) vs Jay Lethal vs Amazing Red vs Max Buck vs Jeremy Buck vs Robbie E
Should he replace Robbie E?
Doug Benc/Getty Images
To your left is the future TNA World Heavyweight Champion! Jersey Shore member whatever his name is— IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT HIS NAME IS!!!
The X Division title has recently become extinct in TNA. What better way to revive it than to have a Steel Cage Ultimate X match with the six-side ring brought back. Well, maybe not the six-sided ring brought back, but you get the idea.
For the competitors in this match, all of them need to put on a great showing to lead things off. Jay Lethal and Amazing Red have been horribly misused as of late. However, their athleticism and speed are assets to the X Division. Kazarian is a solid in-ring performer and should headline the X Division for years to come.
The Bucks have had some recent tension lately. Although I am opposed to a brother split up, the teasing of a feud will provide an interesting angle to an interesting match.
Robbie E is paid to look like an idiot. "Sign me up, TNA," says Eric Young.
I liked the idea of the four-way Ultimate X match at Victory Road, but a six-man Ultimate X match? That's off the chain awesome! A much needed consolation for WWE neglecting to put Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania.
Give these men twenty minutes to make spectacular spots and we have a great way to redeem the TNA faithful. Amazing Red pulls off a shocker to grab the X Division belt and thus becomes new champ.
Winner: Amazing Red
Abyss (C) vs. Crimson for the TV Title
Remember Abyss? Remember the TV Title? Remember why TNA forgot to vacate the title while Abyss was almost killed by Crimson?
Well, here is the conclusion to this bizarre and neglected angle. A match between the up and coming Crimson and the established veteran Abyss.
Warning: There will be a lot of violence in this match. Of course, the name Lethal Lockdown as a pay-per-view insinuates all matches will be contested inside a steel cage.
What better way to have your second match be for an irrelevant title nobody cares about between two guys who almost killed each other in a steel cage match?
I'm in. The fans will also be in as well. This match won't be a 5-star classic talked about for years, but will be remembered for the brutality of it. Crimson wins to give two titles for the Red Brothers.
Winner (and new champion): Crimson
Madison Rayne (C) vs. Mickie James for the Knockouts Championship
This knockouts match is stale to say the least. But the only way this feud can finally end is in a steel cage. Give these women 15-20 minutes and let the cat fight begin. Oh wait, that's giving them 15-20 minutes and let the 5-star wrestling clinic between Knockouts between.
Madison Rayne has carried the title for a long time and needs to give it up. Mickie James can talk about how she was the champ in WWE and in TNA. Hardcore country prevails!
Winner (and new champion): Mickie James
Bully Ray vs. Devon in a No Holds Barred Steel Cage Match
Remember how the feud started?
Not much needs to be said here. Call me crazy, but this feud is one of the best I have seen from 2010 on. Give closure to this feud by letting it be their retirement match, loser retires. Perhaps have Tommy Dreamer be guest referee to make it an ECW type theme.
Devon's kids Terrence and Terrell will be looking on from the outside. Their father will disappoint as he comes up short as Tommy Dreamer turns heel and costs Devon the match.
Winner: Bully Ray
After the match, both Bully Ray and Tommy Dreamer announce their intention to retire in order to join Immortal's has been and never was section along with Eric Bischoff, Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair.
Except they actually retire! Thank God!
Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett in a Steel Cage Match
Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Remember how this feud started? This feud is a long time coming, especially with TNA desperate to rebound after the debacle known as Victory Road.
The first match at Genesis was a teaser to the tremendous potential of this feud. The second match at Against All Odds was an outstanding match that actually had this writer invested in the outcome. The third match at Lockdown will bring down the house (of Jarrett) and provide yet another classic. For those keeping score, the series is officially tied 1-1.
Special stipulations heat up the intensity of this match. If Angle loses, he must permanently retire. If Jarrett loses, his wife Karen can never appear on our screens again. Better yet, why not make it a Hell in a Cell match to commemorate an actual feud in the professional wrestling industry?
The wrestling fans chant "Let's go Angle!" The deaf people think "Let's go Jarrett!" The internet wrestling fans think "Fire Russo!"
There is no reason why this match can't be a great one to remember, given the chemistry of these two veteran performers. Jeff Jarrett relents to the stipulation of Karen leaving Impact because her voice is too much to take. He taps out to the Ankle Lock with the ref actually seeing the tap occur.
Winner: Kurt Angle
Team Fortune vs. Team Immortal in a 10-Man Elimination Match
"This is what the pay-per-view concept is all about!" Mike Tenay yells in glee.
Your five-on-five Lethal Lockdown match will not disappoint, given the star power in this war between two factions. Well, if Jeff Hardy is high, then he can be stoned on top of the cage while his teammates fight Fortune. But that's not gonna happen.
The contestants are Fortune (minus Kazarian, plus Matt Morgan and Scott Steiner) and Immortal (Matt and Jeff Hardy, Hernandez, Rob Terry and Ric Flair).
But if in the rare case Jeff Hardy is unable to perform, family friend Shannon Moore can join Immortal and step in. Or they can use the other 100 members to replace Hardy.
As for the match, I can see Matt Morgan and Rob Terry getting eliminated first from their respective groups. Then Hernandez gets eliminated by a Styles clash. Both of Beer Money is eliminated by two Ric Flair low blows. Eventually the blasphemous Flair gets knocked out by a Frankensteiner!
Now we have Steiner and Styles vs. the Hardy Boys, an epic two-on-one and a half handicap match.
Big Poppa Pump is a victim of a twist of hate from whatever Hardy is alive at that point. Now we have Jeff and Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles. Styles puts on a great effort, but the cumulative effect of both Hardys attacking him puts him out for the three count.
On a tangent, let's hope the Hardy Boys reform their tag team. They can compete with Beer Money and the Guns. Count me in!
Sting (C) vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Mr Anderson in a Triple Threat Steel Cage Match
This should compensate for the talk to the wrestling message boards on Monday, March 14. It's about time to make a revolutionary match. A match apparently unprecedented in TNA history. A triple threat elimination three stages of hell match.
The first stage is a normal triple threat match in a steel cage. Only caveat is there is no escaping the cage. In a shocking turn of events, RVD hits a 5-star frog splash from the top of the cage to pin Sting. RVD has one pin.
The second stage is a no holds barred match inside that same steel cage. Anderson nails RVD with a mic and gets the second pin.
The third stage is pretty simple, escape the cage and you win. RVD has the athletic advantage, but Mr. Anderson is an @$$hole. The Green Bay native escapes the cage before RVD can pull him down.
Winner (and new champion): Mr. Anderson
Story line ramifications: RVD can have that long-awaited feud with Jeff Hardy that can easily stretch to Destination X or Hardcore Justice.
Mr. Anderson can have a solid feud with Sting until a worthy heel challenger reinforces his antihero stage. Hopefully Anderson will get a solid reign as champion and can become the new face of TNA, since Jeff Hardy is obviously not up to the task.
That's All, Folks!
Thanks for reading my quasi-fantasy Lockdown pay-per-view. Be sure to hit that like button if you would actually spend $35 on this. Another reason to like this is one of you twitter people actually tweet Dixie Carter the link to this preview.
If you don't like this, then there's always a comment section. By the way, I am not secretly Jeff Hardy or Dixie Carter.