Total Nonstop Rant: The Perspective of a First-Time Viewer of TNA Wrestling

Ray SamuelsContributor IMarch 14, 2011


Today was another extremely boring Sunday for me. Given I woke up early in the day, and had to go play lacrosse for my league team, my day consisted of mainly uneventful activities.

Eagerly, I turn on the TV hoping to be saved from my boredom by cable television, but to my dismay, I was yet again treated to tedium.

It was around the 7 p.m. EST time slot that I began shuffling through countless channels and paused on a caption reading "TNA Presents: Victory Road! Witness the Road To TNA Lockdown!".

Only $34.99. Thirty Four Dollars and Ninety-nine cents. I hadn't watched TNA in my entire life. Not a single iMPACT! was made on me.

So I had little expectation, or even any clue as to what I was spending my hard-earned cash on. I had no clue as to why Matt Hardy was facing AJ Styles. I had no clue who in the heck was Robbie E.

I had no clue who Hernandez was and why he was facing Matt Morgan (in a First-Blood Match no less!).

My point: I did not follow TNA on a daily basis.

Did I read conversations of TNA marks online? Sure. I had known enough of TNA that I realized and knew about the 3-3-11 promo's and Kurt Angle and the Jarrett storyline and the Sting vs. Hardy angle.

But that was the only thing I followed. The main-event storylines. And even then, I only followed them based on conversations online, or the occasional TNA iMPACT! spoilers and dirtsheet news online.

So, not thinking what I had gotten myself into, I clicked Yes and confirmed my purchase of the PPV. I had enough money to buy it. Plus tomorrow was my pay-day anyway.

And really, TNA was just a really standard version of the monster media giant WWE, right? I pressed YES into thinking that TNA would offer me the exact same entertainment value that WWE does every month.

Little did I know, TNA would soon take that exact sum of my money and crap all over it.

We start out with Buh-buh Ray Dudley (Sorry TNA Marks, that's how I remember him) against a watered-down Tommy Dreamer. Didn't seem like that best of matches of paper, but surprisingly enough, it kept me pretty cheery throughout. Good stuff.

Moving on, it was Rosita and Sarita vs. Angelina Love and Winter. Oh now I remember how GOOD Divas wrestling is! This match was a perfect example of it. The Knockouts division really flames and shines compared to the WWE Divas.

Matt Morgan had become a favorite of mine back in 2003 in WWE. Even here, I admired the match between Morgan and this monster called Hernandez. It was a great match with a witty ending.

All I'm gonna say for the Ultimate X Match is WOW. Simply Amazing. Same goes for the Beer Money and Ink Inc Match. TNA's Tag Team division completely DEMOLISHES WWE's division.  

AJ Styles is a star. I have no clue as to why he is not being utilized properly by creative. His match against Hardy was the best of the night, mostly because of AJ's tremendous spots.

Here is where the disappointment for me began to swirl. RVD vs. Anderson (I am a big fan of both) was a double-countout and while I could see that creative was planning a Triple-Threat at Lockdown, the ending was could have been booked much better.

And then, there was the main event. Sting vs. Jeff Hardy. I am a fan of Sting from his old WCW days and I loved Hardy's flying style. Reading online reports, I had come to realize that this was a dream match for some. It was certainly a big-match situation.

At this point, I'd thought that even if this match was not as good as it was hyped, TNA would still earn my $35 because of the previous matches (excluding the RVD vs. Anderson match).

Right before the match begins, Bischoff comes out and makes it a No Disqualification Match. I could live with that. I just wanted to see the match. And so it began. And ended in approximately 1 minute.

I was confused as soon the referee counted to three. Hardy looked baked, but seriously? Sting looked like he was disgusted to be in the same ring as Hardy. Hardy looked confused after Sting started throwing punches to Bischoff.

I really don't know if Hardy was high/drunk, or if it was some mistake from Sting or Hardy or both, or if it was just that Hardy was screwed because of backstage politics, or if it was a worked angle.

All I know is that TNA needed to deliver to their PAYING customers, and they didn't.

Sting looked pissed as hell after the match ended and responded to the fans' chants of "This is Bullshit!" by saying, "I agree."

Reading online reports, most people have said that this was the worst main-event in the company's nine-year history which is nothing but bad news for Carter, as she won't be having first-time viewers buying her product or tuning in any time soon.

Some were also suggesting that it was as bad as the infamous "Finger Poke of Doom". I could not agree more. At least the Finger Poke was free.

Words really cannot explain right now how livid I am at this moment. TNA literally ate up most of my $35 without delivering.  

Some say that this was made to gain TNA more publicity, but I already see people giving up on TNA online.

I will not be tuning in on iMPACT! this Thursday night and rest assured Dixie Carter, I will not be ordering from you again.