WWE WrestleMania: 9 Outrageous Choices to Break the Undertaker's Streak
As we move closer to the Royal Rumble, the festive season of WWE fans begins. The Wrestlemania, the grandest stage of them all lures on the horizon and boy we cannot be more excited.
The moment we speak about Wrestlemania, we think about the deadman, the Undertaker and his streak. Everyday we start having numerous articles on whether the streak should be broken or not. Who should face him?
Of course, it is because we love the man and his streak is closer to our hearts than to his own heart. As fans, we are possessive of his streak and apart from few golden boys, we cannot fathom the prospect of the streak being broken by anybody. It has become sacred in a way. The streak is undoubtedly the attraction of Wrestlemania.
I have to decided to take advantage of our sentiments. I have decided to get some cheap heat here. I have chosen few people as my outrageous choices to end the streak. These are people, who might be really talented, but if they break the streak, gosh there will be serious riot. People will flame and destroy anything related to WWE in their sight.
Disclaimer - This is not a serious article and analysis. This is the just for some fun and smiles. It is simply outrageous set of prediction that cannot come true in this millennium.
Note : This article was inspired by the article of Jeff Awesome, which you can enjoy here.
Here is one of the two most dominant figures on the roster. John Cena can lose clean. Hell, even Undertaker has lost clean more than two behemoths of the Smackdown.
Rey Mysterio, the ultimate underdog is rather a dominator these days. His losses are as few as good promos from Great Khali. He has defeated Punk, Kane and Del Rio and several others in the last year. Rinding on the massive popularity amongst kids, Rey is the most credible threat to the streak.
In whichever way, WWE can manage to pull this match off at Wrestlemania. Undertaker could even turn heel after a long time, since it is Rey we are talking about.
Breaking the streak would be the ultimate test of this underdog. It will be the height no one has reached before. It should not take a lot for Rey to beat the deadman. He has big heart and lot of merchandise sales.
And anyway, if Rey could break orbital bone of the Deadman then streak is a little matter.
Ron Killings aka the R Truth is one of the over faces on Raw. This man is a decent wrestler with one traumatic entrance and even more traumatic entrance... umm song. Whats up truth is unlikely to face Taker at any point of time, let alone Wrestlemania.
The foremost feature of this superstar is, he oscillates between a jobber and a credible threat at really brisk pace. You really never know. He is also one of those gentlemen, who roams around with the ever gorgeous Eve, but never use her to distract his opponents.
Anyway, the only way he can challenge Taker is to win royal rumble and compete for the championship. Unlikely as ever. Yet suppose this happens, i would like to see two things happening.
1) Undertaker's face while R-Truth is making his entrance. he would be getting taste of his own medicine while waiting for ages to see his challenger entering the ring. What would be even more interesting is, taker's face when R-truth is singing. (By the way, will not it be epic to see the deadman shaking a leg on '"Whats up"?)
2) Seeing the second lamest finisher 'The Lie detector' taking down the Phenom. That would be unbelievable.
Santino Marella is another face quite over with the crowd. Do not ever take him lightly. He is former IC champ and current unified Tag Team champ. Moreover, he was just an year shy of breaking Honky Tonk Man's record of longest Intercontinental Championship reign. His achievements speak for him.
The match will be electrifying, where Taker will spend 23 minutes in chasing Santino and ultimately will be down after Cobra. The same venomous finisher of Santino, which is comfortably the lamest finisher in the recent history of WWE. Taker will go down with the hysteria caused by ticklish feeling of cobra, if not because of the severity.
A true man gives his life for his love. A true man according to fools dies for love. Then a heart, even though a dead one, should not whine to give away some Key-Fabe streak.
Since Michelle has received all the honors her talent would have permitted and all those which she should have never received, the only three things remain unfinished are WWE championship reign, WHC reign and breaking Taker's streak.
With tricks like Piggy James etc. Lay-Cool have proved that they are even better that the Undertaker at playing mind games. They can try some similar things on the undertaker to his ultimate peril.
All Michelle and Layla have to do is start talking in their horrifying voices as soon as the Match begins. That alone would be enough for taker.
The WWE champion Miz is, well... a good superstar (sigh). Miz is the only man on this list, who in my nightmares could be challenged by the Undertaker himself.
Suppose Taker wins Royal Rumble and Miz retains to our misfortune then it can happen.
Undertaker in overconfidence would challenge the Miz. In the months leading up to the Wrestlemania. we would be fed to the promos of Miz.
However, quite inexplicably Miz would not only go on dominate the match but would win cleanly. As we would start searching for the evidence of consumption of sleeping pills by the Undertaker we will get to know the secret of Miz's focus.
On the night of nights, Miz learns the fact that on all the occasions both man delivered promos, Undertaker had worn earplugs to prevent potential damage that the barrage of 'Really.. Really..Really..' could cause. Such an insult infuriated Miz enough to destroy the Phenom.
The Great Khali
As the news broke out that Linda McMahon is contemplating another run for senate, the first man to shudder was the Undertaker.
Indian financiers of campaign had demanded during the first run itself that Great Khali should be allowed to break the streak. After a lot of negotiations, Mr. McMahon somehow managed to calm them and avoid potential destruction of Titan towers by the angry pool of fans.
However Mr. McMahon could manage the Indians, only if he could have stopped Linda from fantasizing... only if...!
All the nightmares came true when Indians threatened to give their support to democrats. Great Khali not only main evented Wrestlemania, but also demolished the legacy of Undertaker in a squash match (which lasted for 17 minutes due to Khali's speed)
Till this date, we can see an old man looking at the ruins of a building hopelessly. His name is Vincent Kennedy McMahon.
Th superstar that broke out of Nexus is not Wade Barret. That is our illusion. The true star is David Otunga. A rare find that can botch 9 out of 8 moves. His physic is 'Impressive'. It is not really often you see such an oddly shaped 'Wrestler'.
Well Otunga is the only person in this universe, who knows why exactly did Nexus attacked the Undertaker. Creative Team members still wish they knew it.Whatever, such a situation and the fact that Taker has faced even worse people before made it possible that Otunga can challenge taker.
Undertaker agreed to lose to this young man in 3 minutes. A smart decision on all the accounts. Longer the match would have gone, shorter would have Taker's career become.
Tag Team Of Hornswoggle and Swagger-Soaring Eagle
After delivering stunning and awe-inspiring performances on Smackdown for weeks after weeks, Hornswoggle and Eagle felt that they don't get the respect they deserve. They decided to take their frustration out on a man who himself started the tradition of taking out frustration on other people to gain respect, The Undertaker.
Not only they managed to get Taker for the match but they scared the hell out of him as well. Hornswoggle's punches were low enough to make a newly married man insecure.
The eagle had many outside weapons that were technically indigenous to him.
A single such foe is terrifying, two of them are deadly. The combo proved fatal for the legend of legends, as he could not bear the fate of facing these two at Wrestlemania. The old man gave up...
(You imagine your own way for the tag team to beat the deadman. I am human, cannot do that.)
Shawn Michael's Redemption
After reading the heartfelt tweets and interviews of Helms, Shawn's heart melted. how could he ever wrong such a noble man? He immediately called up Hunter. Hunter called up Vince and Vince called up the Undertaker. Four Men met at Shawn's place over a dinner.
They scratched their heads for hours in trying to find the compensation for Helms. Hunter the evil genius came up with an idea. He suggested that they will give Hurricane the honor neither Shawn could get nor Hunter himself. Let him break the streak.
Vince was dumbfounded as was taker. But the DX had found their way to make things right for Helms. They convinced other two as always, and the Hurricane helms was given his due.
In a hard fought match, Taker allowed Helms to pin him. Fans drowned their sorrows that night, as Shawn finally slept peacefully.
This was not a great read in anyway, but i hope it made you chuckle. I changed formats for all the choices to make it more spicy. Now, it is your yard. Flame me.