Get UP Out the League, Mark Brunell
This will be a weekly feature, so check back regularly!
Each week I will pick a new athlete from any sport, and plead for him or her to stop playing their sport.
I want to make it very clear that I did think they were good at one time, but their time is up, and it’s time to get out the league.
For example, Willie Mays on the Mets, Joe Namath on the Chargers, and Patrick Ewing on the Magic. If anyone has athlete suggestions I would be glad to consider them for future articles. Just send me a note.
The second “Get Up Out the League” athlete is Mark Brunell, from the New Orleans Saints.
Mark Brunell, your time is up.
Everybody in sports knows why scrub, soft-throwing, left-handed relief pitchers stick around—there aren't any other left-handed guys that are better— but I don’t understand why the NFL has to have the same policy.
Is the NFL keeping Brunell so he can come in and barely throw a 12-yard out, like a NL West lefty reliever comes in and walks a guy on four pitches and then gives up a double before getting pulled.
Or are the Saints keeping Brunell on the team to come in during the third quarter and throw a 3rd-and-13 pass at the feet of Marques Colston. Brunell, just retire and keep watching your daughter (Caitlin Brunell) win beauty pageants.
Yes, all you future To Catch a Predator stars can thank me for pointing out that Brunell’s daughter, even though not legal, except, I think, in Mississippi, is a beauty pageant champ.
The Saints' general manager letting Mark Brunell have an NFL jersey is worse than a dad letting his daughter hang out with Shawn Kemp in 1997.
Mark, you should have retired after the Jaguars cut you. What you did for them earlier was great, and you should have left being on top. But instead, all kids just getting into watching football will think they have a reasonable chance of making the league at quarterback when they see you take the field.
Keep it up Brunell, all you are doing is breeding more delusional dads with kids that can’t throw and are slower on their five-step drop than Rick Mirer on the Seahawks.
They think they can make it in football, not realizing that once you were a raw, great athlete at Washington, with Napoleon Kaufman, Lincoln Kennedy, and Steve Emtman—who helped Danny O’Shea’s Little Giants defeat the 52-point favorite Cowboys, with Spike running the rock.
So, Mark, do all us NFL gamblers a favor and please get out of the league; so in the event that Drew Brees gets hurt, we don’t have to rely on you to cover our rent check for the month.
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