NFL Week 6 Picks: Dallas Cowboys @ Minnesota Vikings and More
All bandaged up and medicated from my week 5 beatdown, I'm back and ready for more. I could have pulled a Joy (or a Whoopi) and walked away, but I'm here. After going 3-11 last week the last place I should show my face (or byline) is bleacherreport.com but, alas, here I am to redeem myself. As a matter of fact, as Johnny said to the Devil, I'll make a bet with you. If this week is a repeat of last week or worse, I will watch an entire season of Jersey Shore. That alone should justify my staying up until the wee hours of the morning to make sure I at least pick four games correctly. If I do indeed pick four or more correctly, I escape the full season of Jersey Shore (which resembles a fate worse than icepicks under my toenails), and maybe retain a little dignity.
Really, how sad is this? I'm actually begging to be 4-10. It's a good thing I don't get paid to do this. BleacherReport could file charges against me for theft after I cashed my check.
Alright, two pots of black coffee down, two 5-Hour Energy Drinks (I figured 10 hours of research should be sufficient) consumed and enough information gathered to rival a C.I.A. investigation; I think I'm ready to invade the Win column (or at least occupy it quietly).
Here are my week 6 picks (once my hands stop shaking):
Seattle Seahawks @ Chicago Bears
1 of 14
I'm still not sure how I lost the Chicago game last week. Todd Collins completes ten passes the entire day (four to Carolina players) and his passer rating (6.2) resembles "The Situation's" IQ and the Bears still win. Luckily, they get Jay Cutler back this week. As long as he can remain upright (cough-cough, offensive line) the Bears should right the ship. I'll take the Bears at home.
Miami Dolphins @ Green Bay Packers
2 of 14
As long as Aaron Rodgers isn't doing much of this, the Packers should be okay. All signs point to Rodgers playing this week despite getting his bell rung in overtime last week. But as I stated last week, until they empty the magazine and stop shooting themselves in the foot they will continue to be an enigma. I'm tempted to take the Dolphins but I cannot justify that after New England laid forty-one on them without Randy Moss catching a pass. I'll take the Packers.
San Diego Chargers @ St. Louis Rams
3 of 14
Just when I thought my Cowboys were the best at inventing ways to lose ballgames, here come the Chargers. Apparently their usual September Slumber has spread into October this year. I'm reluctant to pick them but how can I explain picking a Rams team that gave up forty-four to the Lions? The Lions! I still can't believe it and that was one of the three games I got right last week. I'm taking the Chargers.
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Baltimore Ravens @ New England Patriots
4 of 14
Baltimore is on fire right now. Also, I can't help but think about how they climbed into New England's sand box during last year's playoffs and proceeded to bury the Patriots (New England is still picking sand out of places most people wouldn't want to mention). To top it off, New England allowed one of the best receivers of all time to get away before this game. Personally, I would have at least kept him until after this one but, after all, I did go 3-11 last week so my opinion means nothing. All signs point to a Raven win. I'm going to obey those signs and take the Ravens.
New Orleans Saints @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
5 of 14
Right now the New Orleans Saints are an enigma wrapped in a riddle. Nothing in my research tells me to pick them this week. This is one of those upside-down divisions (apparently the cool thing in the NFL this year is to take the general consensus and shoot a bunch of holes in it). I don't see things turning right-side up any time soon. I'll take the Bucs at home.
Detroit Lions @ New York Giants
6 of 14
I think the Lions scored more points last week than they did during their entire 0-16 season in 2008. Okay, so that's a slight exaggeration but then again so is the claim that Paris Hilton has talent. The Lions have proven they can put points on the board and at some point the Giant train has to become derailed. They can't do this the rest of the season can they? In my upset special of the week the Lions return a punt for a score late and win. I'll take the Lions.
Atlanta Falcons @ Philadelphia Eagles
7 of 14
Atlanta's wins have come at the expense of the Cardinals, Saints, Browns, and 49ers; not exactly a glowing resume. However, the Eagles are in flux due to their quarterback situation. Kevin Kolb hasn't looked impressive and Vick's status is still up in the air. If he weren't scheduled to pitch on Saturday, I would suggest starting Roy Halladay. However, since he's not an option I will have to take the Falcons.
Cleveland Browns @ Pittsburgh Steelers
8 of 14
Coach Mike Tomlin gets his starting quarterback back this week. He also gets a home game against a team prone to self-inflicted wounds (see last week's loss to the Falcons). This pick is my first LOCK of the year. There is no way Pittsburgh loses this game. I'll take the Steelers. Score: Pittsburgh 34 Cleveland 9
Kansas City Chiefs @ Houston Texans
9 of 14
This Chief defense seems to be for real so the offense needs to join the party. The Texans seem to play better on the road (they have been manhandled their last two home games). I think the Chiefs step out of their offensive funk this week and the Texans' struggles at home continue. I'll take the Chiefs.
Oakland Raiders @ San Francisco 49ers
10 of 14
While the Raiders may not be playing in the friendly confines of the Black Hole this week, the 49ers seem to be floating in one. I admire the gumption of the owner to say they will still win the division but there is an unspoken rule in sports; before you talk about winning your division you need to win your first game. It doesn't happen this week. I'll take the Raiders.
New York Jets @ Denver Broncos
11 of 14
Mark Sanchez was my whipping boy for a few weeks at the beginning of the season. But Rex and his staff have done a nice job designing the offense around him. This defense is for real even without a healthy Darrelle Revis. Until someone shows me they can make the Jets pay for their defensive gambles I will continue to pick the Jets. I'll take the Jets.
Dallas Cowboys @ Minnesota Vikings
12 of 14
I could write for hours about this one. Has there ever been a game between two 1-3 teams with more hype? I doubt it. It's only week 6 but let's call this what it really is, a playoff game in October. The winner is still alive (albeit on life support), while the loser flatlines and begins to look to next year. I have been a Cowboys fan for thirty years but I cannot see them winning this game. Bad elbow or not Brett Favre and the Vikings will remain on life support for at least another week. I'll take the Vikings.
Indianapolis Colts @ Washington Redskins
13 of 14
Indianapolis has had moments on both sides of the ball this year resembling that of a team in decline. Peyton Manning looked as bad last week as I have ever seen him. The Redskins, on the other hand, are like riding a backwards rollercoaster; you know there are going to be ups and downs but you don't know where they will come from. The Colts have struggled on the road and this will be an up week for the 'Skins. In an upset, I'll take the 'Skins.
Tennessee Titans @ Jacksonville Jaguars
14 of 14
If Tennessee keeps their foot on the pedal like last week this one will be over in a hurry. Jacksonville has been a bit Jekyll and Hyde-ish and looks to get run over this week. Chris Johnson is due for a big game and I believe it happens this week. I'll take the Titans.
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