TNA Star, Former ROH Champion Desmond Wolfe Reportedly Missing (Satire)

Alfred KonuwaFeatured ColumnistAugust 22, 2010

TNA Wrestler Desmond Wolfe (real name Nigel McGuinness) has been reported as missing after four consecutive episodes of TNA Impact have aired without his likeness.  

Wolfe, an employee of TNA, has not been seen at his place of employment for over one month.  This prompted numerous members of Wolfe's loyal fanbase to file a missing person's report, which is currently being investigated.  

The former Ring of Honor (ROH) Champion was last spotted being dismissed by the Nature Boy Ric Flair, after being considered as a possible member of the upstart Fourtune stable on July 15, 2010.  

Desmond Wolfe was recently seen atop TNA's fan voting poll as a wrestler who the fans felt was most deserving of a TNA title shot.  Upon receiving this title shot on a subsequent episode of Impact with little to no fanfare, Wolfe was quickly disposed of by Rob Van Dam (the champion at the time) with help from the TNA creative team.  

Using Wolfe's tendencies to surface atop online polls as a lead, local authorities utilized search and seizure warrants to acquire TNA's current top ten contender rankings.  However, an extended search of these top ten rankings showed no signs of Desmond Wolfe.  

Wolfe's employers, TNA President Dixie Carter along with executives Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff, were recently interviewed by authorities as to the whereabouts of Desmond Wolfe.  

According to Officer Ray Traylor 

"All three (Hogan, Bischoff, Carter) seemed to be primarily concerned with Wolfe's wrestling past and what promotions he had been with.  Upon learning that he had never worked with the WWE, they became increasingly short with their responses to my questions, and ultimately concluded that his whereabouts were not of their concern due to his nonexistent history with the WWE."

Authorities were tipped off that Wolfe may be hiding out in hopes of being released from his contract as there have been recent reports of instability within TNA's business model.  A likely hideout location would be the rather obscure pro wrestling program of TNA Xplosion, as few people even know of its existence.

Based on preliminary investigations, it is believed that Desmond Wolfe may have been buried.  

Chief suspects have been named in this apparent burial, which include the above mentioned TNA President Dixie Carter, executive consultants Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff, and Tommy Dreamer, one of TNA's newest employees whose decision to relaunch the defunct and irrelevant "ECW" brand in TNA has been linked to the disappearance of Wolfe. 

The unnamed driver of the white van used to kidnap Wolfe's fellow ROH alum Samoa Joe has also been named as a possible suspect.

All chief suspects have been taken into police custody for further questioning, and more information on this story will be reported as it becomes available.  

If you, or anybody you know has information related to disappearance of Desmond Wolfe please contact Ring of Honor President Cary Silkin, via twitter, at

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