The Big Ten: In Space!

In discussing expansion to 12 or more teams, one of the first things Big Ten fans will tell you is that the conference will not change names. It will not become the Big Twelve or Big 16. The conference will forever be known as the Big Ten.

The reason is branding.

The Big Ten is no longer a count of member institutions but rather a label, one applied to its conference as well its new television network, the Big Ten Network (BTN).

As with any brand, the Big Ten is seeking out new markets to sell itself. At its core, the Big Ten will maintain its high education and research backbone, but new markets will help expand its resource base and increase the population it serves.

Some pundits are predicting that the Big Ten will expand by five to a near-unprecedented 16 schools. But, that is not even the half of it. Literally, it is not even HALF.

Step One:

The two conferences listed as targets for Big Ten expansion are the Big 12 and the Big East. Schools from both conferences have already let out yelps of pleasure at the possibility of joining the Big Ten.

Which way will the Big Ten go? Some have suggested a balanced approach, to take the best from what both sides have to offer. The wise have postulated a two-step approach.

The biggest grab for the Big Ten, as far as expanding brand recognition, would be to grab Texas. Sure, the New York market is big, but squishing the Big East is certainly not the biggest splash the Big Ten could make.

The Big Ten will grab members of the AAU: Missouri, Kansas, Nebraska, Texas A&M, and Texas. For Texas to join, all of these other schools are required to help keep the Longhorns’ division nearby, in the Central Time Zone.

National Backlash, Part One:

The SEC, long speculated to match the Big Ten team-for-team following any expansion, will do nothing. The Texas schools were the crown jewel of their own expansion plans, and so the conference will sit comfortably in its 12-team setup, watching the Big Ten try to manage its large setup.

The Big 12 is not as dead as some might speculate. While Oklahoma might make overtures to join the SEC, teams will be brought in to replace those lost.

Two Conference USA teams (of Houston, Tulsa, and Southern Miss) are taken and the Big 12 settles into the Big Nine. TCU was given an invite, but the Horned Frogs are comfortable in their new Mountain West BCS Conference.

Conference USA will consider expansion, but rests at 10 teams.

The SEC will still win two of the next four BCS Championships, but the expanded Big Ten will be able to grab their first since 2002. Pittsburgh goes undefeated one year in the Big East and grabs the fourth .

Step Two:

Then the unthinkable happens.

After the Big Ten’s success in becoming the dominant conference in the nation’s heartland, the Big Ten strikes again. This time with an unfathomable eight-team expansion.

The Big Ten Network has become the most dominant sports network outside of ESPN, the envy of any school looking for a new television package.

And the Big Ten is finally ready to take a bite out of the Big Apple, or should we say, the entire Atlantic coast.

Still middling without a national title contender, members of the ACC are butting heads as to whether the conference should be more focused on football or academics.

The Big Ten first swoops in and picks up the teams Joe Paterno (who is still coaching) has always wanted in his conference: Pittsburgh, Syracuse, and Rutgers. Then, the Big Ten “saves” the old guard, academic elite of the ACC: Maryland, Virginia, North Carolina, and Duke.

Notre Dame, who opted out of the last Big Ten expansion, is again called on to join. The promised money has increased 50 percent with the potential for more. If they decline, the Big Ten will strike in the heart of SEC territory and add Georgia Tech. Vanderbilt was also considered, but the Yellow Jackets were more than eager to leave their sinking-ship of a conference.

If Notre Dame is added, then Penn State will become a part of the “Atlantic” division of the Big Ten. The conference, with 24 teams, will successfully petition the NCAA to host two Conference Championship games. Both teams will proceed to the BCS with a double share of the BCS money.

National Backlash, Part Two:

The ACC and Big East have been left for dead, and there to scavenge is the SEC.

The SEC decides a smallish expansion to 16 is appropriate. Virginia Tech and West Virginia are taken to increase the SEC’s footprint. Texas Tech and Oklahoma are offered spots, but they are content being the dominant forces of the Big Nine.

The Clemson Tigers and their rabid football base are added as the 15th  team. Finally, the choice comes down to Florida State and Miami. Florida State, because of its amicable relationship with the Gators, is finally added.

The remaining teams in the ACC and Big East decide to merge. To be more exact, the five surviving ACC members (and their larger TV contract) invite the four Big East football members to join. The Big East stays apart of the college sport landscape, but not in football.

The ACC keeps its conference championship game and BCS status by adding a third Florida team (Central Florida), a third North Carolina team (East Carolina) and a third Ohio River Valley team (Memphis.)

Conference USA, again a victim of expansion, has only seven members and is at the precipice of implosion. After all of its nearby teams join the ACC , Marshall defects to the MAC, bringing their membership up to an equitable 14.

The Sun Belt offers a merger, under the Sun Belt name, and the six Conference USA teams and the 10 (South Alabama being the 10th) Sun Belt teams form a new 16-team conference modeled after the SEC.

The Big Ten now wins three of the next four BCS championships, dominating the sport. The expanded SEC struggles to win a total of zero National Championships. Washington of the Pac -10 grabs the fourth .

Step Three:

Finally, in a move that became more and more obvious after the Big Ten finished its overhaul of the Atlantic, the Big Ten turns its eyes to the Pacific.

Washington, California, Stanford, USC, UCLA, Oregon, and Arizona are all selected to graduate into the new “Pacific” division of the Big Ten. With them came the Rose Bowl, the site for the champions of the two Big Ten “Championship Game” winners.

Colorado, still an outlier in the Big Nine, is also extended an invitation before any of the remaining three Pac -10 members.

The Big Ten now consists of four divisions of eight teams. The four divisions’ winners play in two championship games and the winners of those two games play in the Big Ten Rose Bowl.

National Backlash, Part Three:

Almost an afterthought, the non-Big Ten conferences negotiate their movements following the creation of a conference that legitimately rivals the NCAA.

The WAC, now at 10 members after the rise of another FCS team, takes in the three orphaned Pac -10 members. The Big Nine, now at eight, poaches geographically isolated La. Tech from the WAC.

The BCS has finally folded, returning the Bowl scene to its pre-1992 rule set. The SEC sends its champion to the Sugar Bowl, which still has the clout to select the next best team in the land.

College Football Fans are again calling for a playoff. This past year, undefeated Georgia blasted Oklahoma in the Sugar Bowl, while undefeated Washington edged out undefeated Michigan in the Big Ten Rose Bowl.

But some things never change. The MAC, Sun Belt and WAC still exist as mid-majors. Even the MWC, without the BCS, is beginning to drift back under that label. But will there be a playoff? Some say that time will tell. Others say no.

--SATIRE