The NFL: The World's Biggest Sporting Soap Opera

Don’t get me wrong, other sports have had it bad this summer. In the UK and Europe, some of the biggest stars in world football are wrestling clubs over salaries. FIFA’s chief Sepp Blatter has called Manchester United’s refusal to let superstar Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid a form of ‘slavery’ (except the last time I looked, slaves weren’t paid, were they?

In baseball, the steroids bandwagon keeps on rolling, and Alex Rodriguez’ off-the-field adventures has tarnished one of its best players yet again.

Hockey is just recovering from the lockout in 2004-'05. And the NBA has a crooked ref to deal with—with worries about more coming out of the woodwork.

But you guys, the NFL has you beat. Completely. And it’s not really anyone IN the NFL's fault. I truly believe that.  But nevertheless, here’s just a few recent episodes that could put JR, Days of Our Lives, and Desperate Housewives into the shade:

1) Can I come back now? Brett Favre vs. Green Bay Packers.

Will he come back? Won’t he come back? Can Lazarus rise again? Favre, who went from Packer to pariah in a matter of months with this incident, might want to come back and play. Or he might not. Who knows?

We know this though: he must have caused some instability in the Aaron Rodgers' camp and frankly, no one seems to be talking about Green Bay Packers football without mentioned Mr. Favre.

2) Loads of dogs, one prison, and no money: The world vs. Michael Vick.

Michael Vick let's people get involved in dog fighting on his land. The rest is history, as No. 7's now spending time in jail. Oh, and filing for bankruptcy. Until Matt Ryan becomes a great quarterback or the Falcons draft/trade/beg for someone better, every quarterback in ATL is going to live in the land of the city's former sporting icon.

ALSO: Marcus Vick. This guy’s a soap opera on his own, with episodes such as: an underage girl, giving the bird to opposing fans, stamping on an opposition player during a bowl game, and numerous arrests. Ouch.

3) Can we get this one on video, darlin’? Belichick-gate

Need I say more? The NFL must have seen more videos than a freaking Star Wars convention. Bill Belichick won’t be remembered as the guy who won four Super Bowls, he’ll be remembered as the guy who videoed people’s calls and (allegedly) practices. He’s still No. 1 in Patriot land, but will he ever be forgiven by the NFL? We expect a groveling apology in his Hall of Fame speech…

4) This isn’t no video game: NFL vs. Adam “Pacman” Jones

This one seems to have gone on an eternity too. Adam “Pacman” Jones (he now wants to get called Adam Jones now, readers) couldn’t behave himself in a nightclub, and was consequently arrested.

The NFL then banned him from football. No one knows if Roger Goodell will let him back into the sport after banning him for the year. And the Cowboys—no strangers to the odd soap themselves—are already in preseason...

5) To strike or not to strike: The Players vs. The Owners

This edition hit a monster stand-off when owners opted out of a collective bargaining agreement in late May this year, which may mean a strike come 2011. Goodell gives three main reasons (according to an ESPN report): high labor costs, concerns with rookie salaries, and—more importantly—the inability for owners to recover players’ salaries.

Wait a minute: in a world where sports business is BIG business, the NFLPA aren’t about to agree, are they? They want their rookies to get richer. Labor costs are still going to rise—as the price of inflation goes up—and lastly, bonuses aren’t about to come back to the owners. If they did, then every banking CEO worth his salt would be giving back their bonus due to the credit disaster.

6) Movin' House: Chad Johnson vs. the Cincinnati Bengals

Chad Johnson, arguably the NFL's most talented receiver, is having issues with the owners. He wants to move somewhere else. Sure, he'll play in 2008, but he's still surly and has vowed he'll speak out next season. He already did to the NFL Network and to ESPN The Magazine.

Cincinnati have refused to trade him—and why would they? He's a prized asset. This one has nothing to do with Roger Goodell or the NFL. But it's still good enough to be part of the series.

For better or for worse, this is why the NFL is such a great product. It's got everything, money, guns, sportsmen, and dogs. We can't wait until September 2008. Roll on the Boys of Winter!