Brett Favre Leaves Theater Early, Contemplates Return To Finish Movie
Monday afternoon in Kiln, Miss., (un-?)retired Packers quarterback Brett Favre was seen leaving a local movie theater by himself.
When asked what he was doing, Favre replied, "I just walked right out of the theater in the middle of the movie. The one other guy in there didn't seem too happy that I was walking around while he was trying to watch it."
It can be assumed that Favre had been watching the movie, Meet Dave.
"That was the first time Brett has ever come in here," said the theater's manager, Theodore Managerie, "We plan on retiring half of his ticket stub in the coming months."
Wednesday afternoon, during an appearance on NFL Live, former Packers' TE Mark Chmura revealed that Favre had told him as recently as Tuesday evening that Favre had the "itch to return to the end of the movie".
"Mark Chmura? Isn't that the guy who likes little kids?" said an angry Favre, clearly trying to change the subject. "I haven't spoken to him in several days."
Thursday morning, Favre and his family called an impromptu press conference in Kiln.
Both media members from Kiln attended.
"Earlier this week, I made the rash decision to leave the movie, Meet Dave, prematurely," said a teary-eyed Favre. "I'd like to announce my desire to return to the theater to finish what I started. All good things...must come to an end (sniffles). I don't want this...to be over yet (bawling)."
Contrary to what Favre intended, the theater's manager was not so happy upon hearing the news.
"He wants to come back? Just like that?", said Managerie. "We can't just restart the movie from where he left it just for him, we've already moved on. I mean, we don't even have Meet Dave anymore, that movie was gone after like two days."
In an exclusive interview with famous Kiln television personality, Billy Joe Bojangles, Favre discussed his side of the story.
"I understand that the theater is trying to protect its public image and legacy, but come on, I'm Brett Favre," he said, scruffily. "I even kept the ticket st-wait, why isn't this microphone plugged in? And is that camera made of cardboard?"
It was reported that Favre tried to bribe Managerie with a free ticket to Favre's next "Old Men Playing Tackle Football in Wranglers in a Wheat Field" game.
Managerie respectfully declined Favre's offer.
"I guess he can go to the dollar theater or something. I don't know why this is such a big deal", said Managerie, flipping through the "Classifieds" section of the newspaper. "I can't let him back into my theater for free to see half of a movie that we don't even have. This guy needs to find a hobby."
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