EDIT: View the third and final part here.
Well since Part One went rather well, I got to thinking and searching and came up with more then a hundred more book titles that people involved with hockey should write.
As I said in Part One, the credit goes to you, the die-hard hockey fan, to whom this three part series is dedicated.
Also included at the end of this article are book titles created by Bleacher Report members other then myself, that were submitted in comments to my article yesterday.
I don't know if Part One can be topped, but I tried my best. Here you go, the second of the "Hockey Books that Would Just Never Sell" trilogy...
The Golden Age of European Hockey by Don Cherry
1001 Ways to Have Fun While Sitting on the Bench by Kevin Weekes
How to Fight Dan Cloutier by Tommy Salo
Keys to a Successful Power Play by Perry Pearn
Busting My Balls: Writing Hockey Articles Only to have them Lose out to an F1 Story Every Time by Greg Caggiano
Skating 101 by Derian Hatcher
An Examination of the Cognisance of Visceral Connections by Tom Renney
How to Block a Beach Ball by Jason LaBarbera
How to Win a Stanley Cup by Mats Sundin
First Aid: Choking Victims by the San Jose Sharks
How to Stop a Shot from Far, Far Away by Vesa Toskala
All Quiet on the Western Front by the Phoenix Coyotes' Bleacher Report section
How to Successfully Run a Sports League by Gary Bettman
Forever and Ever by Rick DiPietro
2002 New Jersey Real Estate Guide by Jeff Friesen
Today's Must Reads
"I Want Bourbon! I Want Scotch! I Want Beer!" by Ed Belfour
My Coach, My Friend: Mike Keenan by Mikka Kipprusoff
Best Friends Forever by Neil Smith and Mike Keenan
How to Keep a Marriage Strong by Martin Brodeur
The Cheeseburger Theory by Keith Tkachuk
"It's Not Diving, It's Falling with Flair" by Sidney Crosby
The Prophecy by Eklund
Exciting Hockey by Jacques Lemaire
The Art of the Offensive Explosion by Allain Vigneult
The Keys to Playing an Entire Season by Peter Forsberg
Consistency by Pavol Demitra
Womens' Rights by Don Cherry
Mein Kampf by Kevin Lowe
She Sells Sea Shells by the Seashore by Bryan Murray
Consistency in Back to Back Starts by Henrik Lundqvist
Money by Sean Avery
Big Body Presence by Pierre "Cueball" McGuire
How to Score in the Stanley Cup Finals by Chris Phillips
"It Was Too a Goal!" by Brett Hull
Making Friends Through Arbitration by Harry Sinden
Knowing When to Back Check by Ilya Kovalchuk
The Keys to Running a Successful Retirement Home by Glen Sather
"No! No! No! Don't You Know Who I Am?" by Ed Belfour
Keys to Elevating Your Playoff Game by Joe Thornton
Getting out of the First Round by the Calgary Flames
One-Ball Wonder by Phil Kessel
Email Safety and Security by Ted Saskin
101 Male Ranger Fan Hair Styles by Ron Duguay
Keys to a Long Term Coach-GM Relationship by Lou Lamoriello
The Perfect Home for Your Family by the City of Buffalo, NY
Scoring in the Right Net by Bryan McCabe
Weightlifting Made Easy by Sean Hill
Goal Celebrations: Modesty is the Best Policy by Alex Ovechkin
Finding Your Inner Peace by Ron Hextall and Billy Smith
"That Wasn't a Friendly Spider, I Guess." by Wade Belak
Knowing When You've Had One Too Many by Craig Mactavish
NHL Goaltending by Manon Rheaume
Happy Halloween: The Key to Dressing up as the Perfect Frankenstein by Bobby Holik
An Illustrious Look at the History of Los Angeles Kings' Goaltending by Yutaka Fukifuji
Star Wars by Sean Avery and Brenden Morrow
Gray Hair at Age 20: A Testament from a Leafs' Fan by Brian Thiel
"Umm...That Stuff is Only Flour" by Kevin Stevens
Bleacher Creature Creations
Mascots and Marketing by Craig Mactavish
A Complete Guide to Building a Career in the Crease by Darren Pang
One Goal Wonders by Marek Malik
"Hey Guys, Where's My Face?" by Kris Draper
Error-Free Defense by Bryan McCabe
Consistency in the Crease by Andrew Raycroft
Injury Resistance by Carlo Coliaicovo
Fighting by Nick Kypreos
Visors: "Who Needs 'Em?" by Bryan Berard
Playoff Success by the Ottawa Senators
Well thanks for reading again, hope you enjoyed them! Once again, please feel free to submit your own in comments and I'll make sure to include some of them in the final article in the series tomorrow, part three! Stay tuned...
comments (32) write a comment »
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about 1 month ago
some good ones again.
i almost forgot Brodeur is the only person to get a divorce!
about 1 month ago
hahah this is awesome.
how about:
"Keeping Your Cool" by Dale Hunter
"Don't Leave Your Feet" by Steve Downie
from about 1 month ago
"The Art of Clean Checks" by the Philadelphia Flyers
about 1 month ago
Here's two:
"How to Make an Empty Net Goal" by Patrick Stefan
"Winning the Stanley Cup" by the Toronto Maple Leafs
from about 1 month ago
the patrick stefan one was in the first one, evan. check it out
about 1 month ago
nice sequel!
about 1 month ago
Is that a picture of Bryan I haven't seen?
about 1 month ago
Mein Kampf by Kevin Lowe
hahahaha
about 1 month ago
All Quiet on the Western Front is being shattered right now thanks to.....ME!
Good stuff again Gregg.
about 1 month ago
Injury Prevention, by Dean McAmmond
about 1 month ago
the don cherry one is really funny
and the marek mailk one still has me laughing, you guys are too funny!
about 1 month ago
Playing Fair by Chris Simon
Scoring Beautiful Goals by Rob Davisons
about 1 month ago
"How To Be a Professional" by Ray Emery
about 1 month ago
Another great article! This ones even in better taste because there's no Dany Heatly/Dan Snyder driving jokes. I mean, I laughed, but I felt bad laughing.
Since everyone else is doing it:
"How to be an Offensive Catalyst" by Mike Comrie
"Canadian Divorce Guide" by Martin Brodeur
"Loyalty" by Mats Sundin
"Bringing it All Every Night" by Miroslav Satan
"Washington and You" by Jaromir Jagr
"The Ultimate Party Guide" by Ray Emery
"Good Luck Colorado, I Hope You Can Backcheck: The Andrew Raycroft Story" by Paul Maurice
"Playoff Hockey for Dummies" by Alex Radulov
"Keeping Your Star Players" by Darcy Regier
"Team Canada" by Jamal Mayers
"Defense Wins Championships" by Jay Feaster
"How to Keep Your Cool when Mic'd Up" by Rick DiPietro
from about 1 month ago
"Playpff hockey for dummies" should be by joe thornton
about 1 month ago
She Sells Sea Shells by the Seashore by Bryan Murray - PURE BRILLIANCE ahaha
I pictured him saying it and it still has me laughing as I write it! ahahah
How about "You think youre ugly - The Ryan Smyth Story" ahah
from about 1 month ago
When my friend first told me that one, I didn't get it. Only after I heard Bryan Murray talk in a post game interview did I complete break down laughing....
from about 1 month ago
She Sells Sea Shells by the Seashore by Bryan Murray
I hope its an Audio Book.
about 1 month ago
"A Guide to Sportsmanship" by Dale Hunter
about 1 month ago
Thanks to everyone who voted and got this to be the article of the day for July 15!
Stay tuned for tomorrow when the third and final part will be published.
about 1 month ago
Okay, we get it. It might be funny if people wrote a book about exactly what's wrong with them. Something like:
How Not To Beat A Dead Horse by Greg Caggiano
from about 1 month ago
touché
see, these are funny.
from about 1 month ago
Everyone else seems to like it so if you don't like it, then don't read part three tomorrow.
about 1 month ago
btw mein kampf is the funniest one you've done, greg
about 1 month ago
Greg! You are awesome!
She sells sea shells by the seashore by Bryan Murray...awesome!
about 1 month ago
She sells sea shells...hillarious
How about
Accesorizing for a night on the town, by Ryan O'Byrne and Tom Kostopolous
about 1 month ago
haha nice article greg
about 1 month ago
Grat article. Can't wait for Part 3
about 1 month ago
How To Grow A Good Crop of Hair by Jose Theodore
about 1 month ago
great job, greg!
about 1 month ago
"Hockey stick or broad sword?" Chris Prongers guide to defense.
"You go get it" Chris Prongers guide to defense.
"Getting a strong, hard working and intelligent partner." Chris Prongers guide to defense and homosexuality.
"My Norris Trophy" Chris Prongers guide to robbery.
"Thrust your hands or elbow into his face" Chris Prongers guide to checking.
"I LOVE ICING THE PUCK" Chris Prongers guide on how to be a fuck bag.
about 1 month ago
Once again, excellent! Great work!
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