Rumors were floating around Boston last week that the honorable (cough) Jeremy Jacobs was thinking about selling the Boston Bruins.
For a few seconds, I thought there was a chance I’d have my hockey team back again.
But alas, it wasn’t to be.
You see, the multi-billionaire was just trying to figure out the full value of his cash-cow. What he discovered (according to the Boston Globe) was that should he put the Bruins and everything associated with the Bruins for sale, the starting price would be a whopping $1 billion dollars.
Don’t forget, he doesn’t just own a hockey team. He owns a building, a bunch of land, and a large stake in a regional sports network (NESN).
Translation: He’s not selling. Ever.
He’s even discussing openly how he’s going to ease the tax burden on his kids when they inherit the team.
I like some of the things the Bruins have done. I like bringing in Cam Neely—even if his only role on the team is to high-five Peter Chiarelli’s head off after playoff goals. I like a lot of the young players. I’m a big fan of Milan Lucic.
I even started enjoying Bruins games again—a little—in the playoffs last season.
But I know how this goes. They’ll get me hooked, then they’ll pull the rug out from under me. I refuse to allow this to happen again.
So finally, after twenty-nine years, it’s come to this: I need a new hockey team.
I have to get emotionally involved with some other hockey team so that I don’t run the risk of getting sucked back into the Boston Bruins next season.
So I’m looking for suggestions. I’ve come up with the following criteria:
My new team can’t be one of the best teams from last season
I refuse to be labeled a bandwagon jumper, so Pittsburgh and Detroit are both out. I’m also ruling out Dallas and Philadelphia, just to be safe.
My new team can’t be a Bruin rival
I can’t imagine rooting for the Montreal Canadiens. Even though I already ruled them out, I could never, ever root for the Flyers. I’m also not interested in the Devils, Rangers, or Sabres.
It has to be a US-based team
I have nothing against Canada, but I can’t root for a team if its hometown fans sing during games. I’m sorry, it’s just a thing I have. So all of the Canadian teams are out.
It can’t be a team I harbor any hatred towards (rational or irrational) from my Bruins fan days
Which means, aside from everyone I’ve already mentioned, the following teams are all eliminated: The Capitals (because Jim Carey sucked after they shipped him to Boston), the Avalanche (because of the whole Ray Bourque thing), and the Panthers (because they were a bunch of no-talent goons the last time I actually followed the Bruins).
So, my question to the Bleacher Report NHL Community is this:
Since I have now officially disowned the Boston Bruins, which hockey team should I root for in the 2008-09 NHL season?
I will take all of your comments and suggestions into consideration, and I’ll make my decision before the start of the season.
** I reserve the right to revert back to being a Bruins fan should Jacobs ever sell the team, or move to another city so they can be replaced with an expansion team.
*** This clause does not cover an existing team moving to Boston. Only a new owner or an expansion team.
Sean Crowe is a Senior Writer and an NFL Community Leader at Bleacher Report. You can email him at firstname.lastname@example.org. His archive can be found here. You can find everything he writes, including articles for other publications, here.