Alex Rodriguez is getting a divorce. He's all over the news.
Michael Vick is going bankrupt. He made it onto perezhilton.com. (I was linked there. I didn't visit the site on my own. Don't worry.)
Tony Gonzalez is being covered on FOXNews.com because he saved a man from choking to death. (Choking to death? Really? That still happens? What a way to go out. I wasn't able to swallow a bite of top sirloin...)
All this left me wondering, why are people so infatuated with athletes being involved in stuff other than sports? Does the fact that they have lives other than playing with a prolate spheroid (oh wow, that sounds dirty) on Sundays excite people that much?
I am a member of the media—barely—and I am—desperately—trying to gain a large readership here. If I talk about Eli Manning having a cavity, could that help me accomplish my goal?
You tell me, after reading what I have to say on today's set of NFL news, none of which will have anything to do with football, and everything to do with what players do when they're off the gridiron. Enjoy (hopefully).
Darrion Scott Has Interesting Ways of Having Fun with His Kids
Free agent DL Darrion Scott pleaded guilty to child endangerment Monday for putting a plastic bag over the head of his two-year-old son.
Darrion stated that he was simply using the bag to make sure his child would cover his eyes during a game of hide and go seek. The boy allegedly has a bad habit of peeking before he gets to 50.
Scott did mention that it might be because the kid can't count that high and acknowledged the possible stupidity of his action. "Teaching him to count would probably have been a wiser thing to do."
Breaking News: Favre Texts Ted Thompson!
Brett Favre reportedly sent Packers GM Ted Thompson a text message over the weekend.
Today's Must Reads
The text's content is unknown, but Thompson replied that he is on vacation and the two could speak later, according to WTMJ-Milwaukee. Thompson has also ignored calls from Favre's agent and sent an intermediary to talk to Favre at his Mississippi home.
Thompson can avoid Favre all he wants, but if Brett requests to be taken off the retired list, Thompson must grant his wish.
Oh the intrigue! What if he was just seeing if Ted wanted to fill out a foursome? Maybe he was just wondering if Thompson wanted to go see Hancock when he gets back from Hawaii?
Find me a professional athlete who doesn't ever send text messages. Then tell me how this is the most important news story of the day. Ridiculous.
The thing I don't get about this though is how the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel found out about this text message.
Do they have sources who work for T-Mobile? And how do you know what Thompson's response was but have no idea what Favre sent to him? Did the wireless worker look in on the text conversation just a few seconds too late to catch what Brett said?
Biggest Non-Story of the year. Actually, of my life. And my parents' lives.
DA Tries to Enhance His Mobility
Derek Anderson worked out at the SPARQ training facility this offseason in an attempt to enhance his mobility.
This may be somewhat related to football, but I just had to get my two cents in. SPARQ training, from what I know, goes around the nation testing and training high schoolers at schools and camps.
Is Derek Anderson really that unathletic? Just picture him doing the 40-yard dash alongside some pimple faced 16-year-old. I would hesitate to draft a player like this.
Another Brush with the Law for Brandon Marshall
Brandon Marshall was ticketed by Denver police for more traffic violations in June.
Marshall, Marshall, Marshall. I'm trying to decide if Brandon is a better driver when he's drunk or sober.
Michael Vick filed for bankruptcy protection Tuesday.
Holy crap that's a lot of debt. Mike must have been a really crappy dog fighter...Oh well, he can always ask his NFL playing brother to help him out financially. Oh wait, he's in prison, too?
Henry's Court Case Will Start Again Next Week
Chris Henry will face a retrial next week in his assault case.
Another court case, another opportunity to illegally park your car outside the court and have it towed. I almost feel sorry for this guy.
comments (6) write a comment »
write a new comment
about 1 month ago
Favre isn't using Verizon. He is a T-Mobile man. You haven't seen the commercial with him in it. Get your facts strait when you insult somebody!
Is Marcus Vick in jail too? Or was that just to be funny? Either way, I liked the quip. And $12.8 million, eat your heart out Charles Barkley.
Brandon Marshall, Chris Henry...what is it with these bad players with two first names getting arrested multiple times for minor things...and how do they get more publicity than Tony Gonzalez who actually does something good?
This world is messed up. At least we have good writers to analyze it all before we all die! Wow, this is a depressing comment. I'm gonna go slit my wrists now. This is getting worse and worse by the second.
from about 1 month ago
I didn't realize I could cause so much sadness and depression through a humor article...
I'm sorry Joe.
Haha I can't believe the T-Mobile spots slipped my mind. I should be ashamed. It'll be changed in a bit.
And I have no idea if Marcus is in jail or not right now. He's had his share of arrests though. It runs in the family.
from about 1 month ago
Oh great, now me yelling about T-Mobile looks weird because T-Mobile is actually in the article. You hurt me once again Tosten. And how am I doing this with slitted (no red line under the word!) wrists?
I do remember the arrests for the younger Marcus. Can you imagine having somebody file bankruptcy when they owe you $12 million, you are now out millions of dollars. That would suck.
from about 1 month ago
Marcus was arrested about a month ago. I was going to do an article with he and Mike hangin' out in the prison yard but never got around to it.
Hope that wrist-slitting thing works out for you. Might want to rub some dirt on 'em.
from about 1 month ago
Thanks for the support Greg!
about 1 month ago
It sounds like DA has a list of demands.
write a new comment