The Patriots' 2009 BOBBY Awards!

4 Sport BostonCorrespondent IJanuary 7, 2010

INDIANAPOLIS - NOVEMBER 15: Quarterback Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots huddles up his team during the third quarter of the game against the Indianapolis Colts at Lucas Oil Stadium on November 15, 2009 in Indianapolis, Indiana.  (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
Andy Lyons/Getty Images

(Originally posted on )

That is the "B est O f the B est of B elichick... Y IPPEE!" by the way!

It's that time of year to relax, reflect, and come up with resolutions we'll never, ever stick to. For the 2009 season, I've chosen to reflect on it by coming up with a half-dozen or so of the most ridiculous awards known to mankind, the BOBBYs! I know I said this team is jelling and ready for the playoffs and I'm completely responsible for jinxing Wes Welker. I don't want to talk about it. Now, onto the awards...

The Homer Simpson, "Everything works out for me all the time despite my constant bumbling and buffoonery" Award

Presented to Shawn Springs, for constantly drifting off coverages, going where he feels like, and following where he thinks the ball is going like a second grade soccer player. Then somehow making plays, being in on nearly every play, and receiving accolades from every post-game talk show host.

This I suppose is the benefit of being a wily veteran. When you've played cornerback for a dozen professional years, you learn where plays are going before they even start to develop. Not bad for a 34 year old in what may be the most physically demanding position in the game.

The Arian Foster "Most Confusing Athlete Name Since Mikki Moore" Award

I had to name the award directly after him because, c'mon, his name is fantastic.

Well this one doesn't need much of an explanation. Even Carmelo Anthony has a delicious candy bar as his namesake. Honestly, can someone explain this to me? I know we're not gonna hear "it's a family name," right?

The Joe Pesci is to Robert DeNiro Award

Presented to Logan Mankins. Remember in Casino where Joe Pesci was sent to Las Vegas to be Ace's bodyguard? All of a sudden, people were kind of afraid to even talk to Ace because you knew Nicky Santoro could overhear your conversation and had the interpretive skills of a rabid pitbull? That's Logan Mankins. 

"No matter how big a guy might be, he would take him on. You beat him with fists, he'd come back with a bat. You come at him with a knife, he'd come back with a gun. And if you beat him with a gun, you better kill him because he'll keep coming back, and back until one of you is dead."  

It's good to have a guy like that in your corner, on your blind side. Make no mistake: That's why this guy was drafted. You don't leave Tom Brady in the hands of just any big, fat guy. You give him at least one crazy one.

The "Oscar Winner Ben Affleck" Award

To Chad Henne, for coming up with a much more devastating blow to the Patriots' psyche than even Drew Brees, who put up the best numbers against the Patriots the entire season.

A week after the humiliating Saints game, everyone was looking forward to some good old interdivisional beatdown-time against the Dolphins, until Chad Henne came up with his ridiculously good performance to break Patriot fans' hearts everywhere. He's never done it before, and he'll likely never do it again. But for just that moment, all the apples were his. And we did not like dem apples.

The Grady Little Award

No one wants it, almost no one even wants to hear about someone receiving an award based on it... but it's to Colts coach Jim Caldwell. Way to friggin' go.

The Ben Affleck in "Smokin' Aces" Award

To newest IR member Wes Welker. A great, gory thrill ride for those who haven't seen it. But the most shocking thing you'll see in the whole movie? After Ben Affleck's character goes through his entire speech about the bounty on Las Vegas Showman "Aces," and his elaborate plan is put in place, a trio of freaky-deekys after the same guy mows him down with a whole bunch of machine guns at a rest stop.

Even if you don't like Ben Affleck, you still had a "WHOA!  HOLY #*$#! Didn't he have first-billing in this movie?! Are they allowed to do that before I've had my first handful of popcorn!?" moment that took the wind out of your sails. This was about the same initial reaction I had to Wes Welker going down this Sunday. I can't count the amount of times I've heard people immediately turn to Julian Edelman as a solution to this terrifying problem. Yeaahh...

Look everyone, just because Julian Edelman's a tough, quick, receiver who has been shadowing Welker for the majority of this season, this does not mean he IS Wes Welker. Tom Brady has referred to Welker repeatedly as the smartest player he's ever played with. That's on a Bill Belichick team for his whole career. Edelman is the talented rookie who's been following him around for a year. This is a big problem. Buuut, that's not why we're here.

The "Season 1 of The Office on DVD" Biggest Disappointment Award

Jerod Mayo (with close runners-up Derrick Burgess and Adalius Thomas).

I know, I know, he got hurt early in the season and hasn't been the same since. But, this guy was a monster last season. It was as if 25-year-old Tedy Bruschi had been driven back in a DeLorean and was ready to play full-time again.

While he still may be the most important and talented player on this defense, it is a different defense when Mayo comes flying in like a mad man on every single play. Here's hoping he takes on a new psychotic persona come the playoffs. We'll need him.

The Comeback of the Year Award

Like I even need to type this. Tom Terrific, a year after having his leg almost torn in half by Chiefs' safety Bernard Pollard, came back on his regular pace, headed for the Hall of Fame like he never missed a beat.  

Okay, so yeah, he didn't make it back to 50 touchdowns and 4,800 yards. But, did anyone expect Tom Brady to have his SECOND BEST season of his career this season? Honestly, did anyone see that coming?

With 28 touchdowns to only 13 picks, 4,398 yards, and a quarterback rating of 96.2, it was statistically the best season he's had save for only the astronomical numbers posted in the 16-0 regular season. If it hasn't hit you yet, don't worry, it will.

Remember Carson Palmer? Remember when it was a very real and scary possibility that Tom Brady may never be the same player? His mobility, pocket presence, arm strength... everything was in question.

All he did was come back and do what he's done his entire career. With the exception of spreading the ball around to eight players per game (and honestly who needs to on this team?) he's been every bit the Tom Brady we've known and loved for years now. And, with his favorite receiver down for the count in the playoffs and teams being able to focus on Moss alone now, I'd watch for a return of the whole "20 passes to 11 receivers" first half performances of yore.  

Forget about a young defensive player in a key spot or a receiver forced into more catches due to Welker's absence: The player to watch now is, and probably always has been, the best quarterback in the NFL.


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