I'm the King of the Fantasy Football World

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I'm the King of the Fantasy Football World
Jim Rogash/Getty Images
The Boltcheats tore through the 2009 regular season of the Caw NFL.com Fantasy Football League with just one blemish on their record. It came on my watch, as team VOTL sent the 'Cheats to the bowels of defeat back in week nine by a score of 93-79.

Unfortunately, VOTL went on to lose four of its last five regular season games and barely won the West division title with a record of 9-5. Burke's Ballers, the team owned by first-year Oswego State Sports Information Director Adele Burk, finished two games behind me and out of the playoffs.

I was not looking forward to the playoffs, as team VOTL was sputtering down the stretch. And in the semifinals, it looked as though the Blumpkins (logo — NSFW) were going to put me out of my misery, taking a 19-point lead into the Monday night game between the New York Giants and Washington.

The Giants' defense was the last "player" left that could gain points for VOTL, the Blumpkins had exhausted all of their playing time the day before. Thankfully, the Big Blue Wrecking Crew showed up in a big way and dominated the 'Skins 45-12, recording a defensive TD in the process. VOTL was onto the title game with a 110-106 victory. My opponent would be the dreaded Boltcheats.

The 'Cheats had a bit of an easier time in their semifinal matchup, as team Joepa managed just 80 points in an 11-point loss. The Boltcheats were now 14-1 and riding sky high. Team VOLT had still lost four of its last six and got into this game by the skin of their pearly whites. It looked to be a battle of two franchises going in opposite directions.

However, team VOTL went back to the videotape (formerly referred to as "movies" in certain SUNY Oswego athletic offices) and saw what worked in week nine. The key to victory was to keep the ball in the hands of Tom Brady.

The New England signal-caller heaved four touchdowns in a 35-7 rout of Jacksonville and racked up 34 fantasy points. That effort coupled with touchdowns from both VOTL running backs (Thomas Jones & Rashard Mendenhall) was more than enough to give me the Caw NFL.com Fantasy Football Championship by a score of 107-87.

Suck it, world.

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