'Twas the NFL Homestretch

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'Twas the NFL Homestretch
Jamie Squire/Getty Images

'Twas the NFL Homestretch 2009

 

 

'Twas the NFL homestretch

And all through the league,

Two playoff berths clinched

The No. 1 seeds.

 

The Saints are cruising

12-0! What a sight!

Kudos to Shaun Suisham

Who pushed it wide right.

 

In Indy they, too,

Ride the 12-0 bloom,

The rest of the division

Can choke on their fumes.

 

The Saints and the Colts

Now snug in their beds,

Visions of byes

Dance around in their heads.

 

As for the Jags, they

Might scrape for a seed,

Though none of their wins

Are against winning teams.

 

In the AFC North

It’s the Bengals who’re cosy,

Ravens imploding and the

Browns hold your nosy.

 

The Steelers, the champs

Not feeling so well,

Perhaps it was this week

They’ll unleash all that hell.

 

Coach Cable must be

So proud of his team,

To have beaten the Steelers

Can Al Davis still breathe?

 

He might need a medic,

Or maybe retire,

Before he tells someone,

“Hey baby, you’re fired.”

 

Now Randy, now Welker

One-two in the league,

But the Pats are stumbling

And starting to bleed.

 

Adrian Peterson

What’s up? You alive?

YPC last week

A scant one point five.

 

That will hardly

Keep you in Chris Johnson’s range,

And your fantasy owners

Must be going insane.

 

If you don’t pick it up

From behind you will see,

Steven Jackson, Thomas Jones,

And soon MJD.

 

The sugar plum fairy’s

Inside Brett Favre’s head,

Says now it’s December,

Time for your arm to go dead.

 

This week we will see

How the Vikings reply,

Will they knock out the Bengals

And push for that bye?

 

And the Chargers in Dallas

Two coaches in step,

From the looks on their faces

Is one more inept?

 

The Cowboys are feeling

Some heat from the rear,

The Eagles bearing down

The Giants still near.

 

For either Chargers or Cowboys

A loss coming pray tell,

But will we see some more action

Off the fists of Flozell?

 

Some December surprises

From good Old Saint Nick?

Already two TDs he

Bestowed on Mike Vick.

 

And the Broncos out west

Staying close all the same,

As Coach McDaniels' sideline rant

Said, “All were trying to do

Is win a f**kin game.”

 

The Broncos better off

Without Cutler it’s true,

Buckhalter and Moreno

Running well, too.

 

Elsewhere in the north

There is movement to boot,

The Packers are coming

To a wildcard game soon.

 

Up on the rooftops

The reindeer might linger,

Unless it’s in Nashville

They might get the finger

 

From Bud Adams, Bud Adams

Without a Vince Young,

Even though there’s Chris Johnson

You still might get stung.

 

So be good in the homestretch,

No mistakes teams can make,

A playoff berth looms

If you appreciate the stakes

 

And Santa is watching

Be good or you’ll find,

A broken rear window

And a golf club nearby.

 

Just four weeks left

NFL fans and we’ll see,

Who’ll wind up on top

And champs they will be.

 

 

 

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