Each Sunday when I wipe the sleep from my eyes and embark on a jam-packed day of NFL action, I tell myself "Frank, this is the week, this is the week where you can't find any more reason to hate Brett Favre more than you already do."
And then, each week, he proves me wrong, almost mocking me: You fool, you really think you could run out reasons to hate me!
To be honest, I never had a problem with Brett Favre. I always admired him. I always loved the way he played the game. I love his guts, his gunslinger mentality, his child-like enthusiasm, and every other adjective ESPN loves to put before Brett Favre's name.
I never minded Brett Favre and his muddy Wrangler jeans and grey beard riding tractors—until he made it personal.
All that changed the day Brett Favre sabotaged my fantasy team.
In one swift...well...nothing Brett Favre does is swift—in several, highly-contemplated, indecisive moves, Brett Favre destroyed my fantasy team.
My fantasy relationship with Brett Favre began about five weeks into the 2008 season. The reason the Old Gunslinger wound up on my team in the first place was my putrid depth at the QB position. Before I acquired Favre, my QBs were Brady Quinn, Vince Young, and Tyler Thigpen....yea...not exactly your prototypical point-getters.
Mind you, this is a keeper league.
I decided to pull the trigger and make a run for the playoffs, and parted ways with one of my huge man-crushes, Marion Barber. In return, I received Marshawn Lynch...and Brett Favre.
At the time, it made sense to me, Lynch and MB3 were not too far apart as far as RB production was concerned, and of course, I was getting Favre. A huge upgrade over Brady Quinn, the depressed Vince Young, and I really had a Kansas City QB on my team?
Well, of course, we all know how Favre finished last season...
Remember, this is a keeper league.
As this season is approached, I was tasked with a difficult decision: Do I keep Brett Favre?
Well, the answer was...yes.
I decided to keep Mr. Blue Jeans and waste a spot on my roster for him.
As the weeks of questions and uncertainty of Favre's future began to unravel, I still held my ground and believed in my aging QB.
Then he did, he retired...again.
I still didn't budge. I still let him hold one of my spots, because, after all, we've heard this before. He's Brett Favre.
The camps started, the season began inching closer, and then they started. The talks of Favre joining the Vikings.
They began as sweet nothings, like an insecure eighth grader asking out the popular girl to the Fall dance. And then as the dance became closer and closer, the talks became louder and louder. Everyone in the school knew that invite was going to be answered soon, the cafeteria and study halls eagerly waited with anticipation!
And then he did it...
He broke the poor hearts of the Vikings, with oh so familiar, it's not you, it's me.
It was that very instance where I gave up.
My draft was the following day and with my fourth-overall pick in the draft I chose Mark Sanchez, because I was in desperate need of an instantly-starting QB.
I passed on the likes of Beanie Wells, Percy Harvin, Miles Austin, and Donald Brown.
Then, on Aug. 18, 2009...Brett Favre sabotaged my fantasy team.
Not only did I draft a QB that I wouldn't have had to, but if he would have waited one less day to announce his latest un-retirement, I would have had him still...but no...someone else plucked him off waivers—instantly.
Now you might say, how can that one move solely ruin my team?
Marshawn Lynch was suspended the first three games, and has since lost any talent he might have had and is no longer the starter. He is about as fantasy-relevant as Priest Holmes.
Mark Sanchez is my QB. Let me say that again. Mark Sanchez is my QB.
I don't have Percy Harvin, nor Miles Austin, nor any of the other previously named players that would have surely helped me.
Oh, and of course Brett Favre is having an MVP season.
Yes, so everytime I turn on my TV and see Favre and his child-like enthusiasm running rampant around the field, throwing picture-perfect passes, accumulating all sorts of yards and touchdowns, my blood boils.
But, I know, deep down inside...I don't hate Brett Favre.
For, Brett Favre is my starting QB on three of my other fantasy teams...