Liver's 2009 NFL Week Nine Picks

Why is it that most of life’s problems CAN be solved with money?

If you’re having emotional problems, you can afford therapy. If you’re having romantic problems, you can rent a hooker.

If you’re having physical problems, you hire a trainer and get in shape.

If I EVER meet the asshole that said, “Money can’t buy happiness,” I’m gonna break my empty bottle of Glenlivet over his throat.

Then again, if you’re a gambling junkie AND you have money, you can always afford ONE more game.

Speaking of hookers, Dallas police said this week that they expect the number of prostitutes in the region to sharply rise for this February's NBA All-Star game and again for the 2011 Super Bowl XLV, both of which will be held at Cowboys Stadium in Arlington. Whatever helps the economy, I say.

Of course it goes without saying that the following picks AGAINST THE SPREAD are for RECREATIONAL USE ONLY .

Only Rick Pitino, LeGarrette Blount, Donte’ Stallworth, Braylon Edwards, Bob Griese, Miguel Cabrera, Tila Tequila, Steve Phillips, Travis Henry, Serena Williams, Michael Jordan, Tony Romo, Richard Heene (a.k.a. Balloon Boy’s father), the Liver’s biological father (a.k.a. The Most Interesting Man in the World) and all Somali Pirates would be drunk enough to question the Esteemed Liver's picks.

Last week’s record: 9-4

2009 record against the spread:   71-44-1 (.612)

Sunday, November 8

Washington at Atlanta (-10)
Expect Atlanta to break their two-game skid against this poor excuse of a Redskins team and reestablish themselves in the NFC wild card hunt. I see this being a thorough destruction by an angry Falcons team. Pick: Atlanta

Arizona at Chicago (-3)
Can you think of two more inconsistent teams in the NFC that play great one week then look terrible the next? Chicago comes off an easy win against the Browns. What win against the Browns isn’t?

Meanwhile, Arizona is coming off an ugly loss to a bad Carolina team that saw Kurt Warner throw five picks. Whichever team can establish a run game here probably wins. Arizona has actually played better on the road (3-0) then at home (1-3) this year. Pick: Arizona

Baltimore at Cincinnati (+3)
The time is now for the Bengals who are coming off a bye. They can put a stranglehold on the AFC North with wins against division rivals Baltimore this weekend and then the Steelers next week.

Wins over both would give them season sweeps over both teams and give them tie-breaker edges as well. Baltimore comes off a dominating win over Denver and needs this game in order to stay close to the Bengals and Steelers.

If Cedric Benson can duplicate what he did to the Ravens defense in their earlier meeting back in Week 5, the Bengals should be in good shape.

The Ravens should be confident going into this game but Cincinnati GETTING points at home seems too good to pass up. Pick: Cincinnati

Kansas City at Jacksonville (-7)
This should be a superb waste of time. Kansas City is awful and Jacksonville is mediocre at best.

Maybe Jack Del Rio should put another tree trunk and axe in the Jags locker room. Then again, it didn’t help much last season.

Matt Cassel might have some time to throw on the Jags shaky pass rush. Pick: Kansas City

Miami at New England (-10½)
With the Jets and Bills floundering right now, this is an excellent chance for the Dolphins to get back into the AFC wild card race. The Wild Cat was brought out against the Patriots early last season and has been hard to stop since.

It’s tough not to go with the Patriots after a bye though. Still, I see Miami keeping SOMEWHAT close here. Pick: Miami

Green Bay at Tampa Bay (+10)
Tampa Bay is now the worst team in the NFL as the Rams got their first and, most likely, only victory against the Lions last week. There will be some interest in how rookie QB Josh Freeman performs in his first start for the Bucs.

Meanwhile, the Packers can only play for the wild card after officially being knocked out of the NFC North last week by the Vikings. That pass protection for Aaron Rodgers

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