Chargers vs. Giants Preview: Draft Dodger

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Note: The quotes in this article are fictional

Philip Rivers and Eli Manning will forever be linked by the 2004 NFL draft, in which Manning was selected first by the Chargers, then traded to the Giants for Rivers, whom the Giants selected fourth. The two young quarterbacks will meet in Giants Stadium on Sunday, with their respective teams heading in opposite directions—the Chargers have won two straight, while the G-Men have dropped their past three.

"Of course, everyone knows that Manning had publicly refused to play for the Chargers if they drafted him," Rivers said. "Well, you can stop the John Elway comparisons right there. Sure, they're both 'draft dodgers,' but until Eli can give an overrated coach two Super Bowl wins, he won't be mentioned in the same breath with Elway."

"Less than a month ago, the Giants were undefeated and topping the list of many power rankings. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. And we thought Plaxico Burress' fall from grace was quick. It seems the G-Men, like Burress, have nearly lost their manhood."

If the Chargers are to win on the road, they'll have to get some pressure on Manning. Shawne Merriman, once one of the most feared sack artists in the league, has managed only two sacks so far this year.

"One has to wonder," Manning said, "whether Merriman's past success can be attributed to performance-enhancing drugs. It seems odd that as soon as he got 'clean,' he'd be 'washed up.'"

It's time for the Giants to get back to what they do best—running the ball first and allowing Manning to throw wobbly passes into single coverage later. Rivers will keep the Chargers close by taking advantage of the Giants' defensive backfield, which lately has shown less coverage than a fishnet bikini.

New York wins, 24-19.

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