Raiders V. Chargers: An Early Peek at Another Charger Loss

Barnavicious XCorrespondent IOctober 26, 2009

While Mondays are usually reserved for analysis and commentary on yesterday's game I'm breaking protocol and already looking forward to next weekend. 

With not much to cheer about yesterday, I set my my sites on the NFL's most delusional fans and the Pee-Hole of professional football...THE San Diego Chargers

The Raiders will once again strap on their galoshes and gas masks for their annual trip to San Diego.

While one may argue they've had a degree of success over the last couple of years, I would whole heartily disagree.

The Charger's last 4 years are like that high school girlfriend... you tell her you love tell her she's even tell her your gonna marry sleep with her at prom and promptly dump her. 

Not unlike the Chargers this leaves her wallering in defeat and thoughts of what could have been. Hanging on memories like division championships or meaningless streaks.

Sure she'll probably show up at the 10 year looking decent...

She'll probably also be divorced, with a couple rotten kids running around and a budget boob job because the Charger fan she married skipped out on his child support. 

With the sizzle once again turning to fizzle, the Chargers Superbowl hopes for this season are all but over.

Like their fans, this once again leaves the Charger organization digging through the Raider's garbage. Now, I don't mean to call coach Gruden garbage, but you get what I mean. 

A few years ago while rummaging through the Oakland dumpster, AJ Smith found a head of cabbage..."sure it's got some brown, but peel that off and you've got a Norv Turner Superbowl Slaw."

Well... you don't need to tell Raider fans that Norv only serves sour kraut. 

Now onward to the Match up....and a few questions I've been asked from my previous articles.

Can the Raiders stop the Chargers passing attack?

I gonna go with yes on this one. We saw on opening night our secondary is more than capable of stopping Rivers and company. If not for one blown play by Routt on Jackson, Raiders win this game. 

Did Phillip Rivers really grow a penis?

This is my own fault, I mistakenly reported a few weeks ago that Rivers did in fact grow a apologies this is a mistake the vagina remains firmly planted as the Charger's starting QB.

Can LT run on the Raiders?

Lawrence Taylor has been retired for many years. However, if you're referring to LaDanian Tomilinson, I have this to say 3.46, 1 fumble, 1 touchdown. "With the 3rd pick in the 2010 NFL Draft the San Diego Chargers select..."

What about Sproles?

Well Dorothy and Toto may have found a snag for the Raiders here. The key to stopping this guy is simple...follow the Rainbow and take his gold.

Were you impressed with San Diego's win over KC?

Not really...I mean they barely squeaked out the win. Beating KC is like outrunning the kid in the wheelchair.

Which Raider Defense will show up?

The same defense has showed up every week for the Raiders, the key is which offense will show up. The offense can not get us in a hole early. 

Will the Raiders end the streak?

The only wins that matter in this league are Superbowls and I don't care if it was 115 years ago, the score still remains 3-0 Raiders. Secondly, what was San Diego's excuse 115 year ago.

Final Score Raiders 24 Chargers 9

"Choke on that Baaaby!"

-Shooter McGavin


If you have any other questions please just leave them in the comments and I'll be happy to answer.