NFL Week Six: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

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NFL Week Six: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
(Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

The NFL is slowly becoming like college football. You have coaches running up scores (Belichick), players acting like thugs on the field (Dante Wesley), massive blowouts of perennial powerhouses (Tennessee Titans), Cinderella teams dancing and spilling punch all over your new shoes (Denver), and small schools beating the big bad Division-I team (Raiders).

Not for nothing, but, aren't these multi-million dollar players supposed to know what they are doing when they strap on their helmet?

Forgive the hangover and the possible crass nature of some of this rant but after watching the latest Monday Night offering, well, just had a few things to say about this ridiculous weekend of "pro" football.

Denver overtakes San Diego....again

San Diego will never, and I repeat, NEVER...never. Never ever. Never ever never. Never ever never ever win a championship with Norv Turner—period.

Norv Turner is the epitome of all that is wrong in pro football today; just because you were a great offensive coordinator back in the day when MC Hammer pants were fashionable and people thought it was cool to wear biker shorts as everyday clothing, doesn't mean that you are going to be a great head coach.

He doesn't have the instinct for coaching ticks to bite dogs much less for getting a team to play enough cogent football to make anyone take them seriously.

The man has managed to take a team who many thought would be the toasts of the AFC West and turn them into a sideshow joke. San Diego is sitting at 2-3 right now and there is little explanation for it except the fact that Norv Turner is not the man who should be wearing a headset.

As a matter of fact, he would be a much better head coach if he were standing outside the stadium—perhaps then he would be far enough away from the field to make the right call.

My god, what a train wreck. This is the team that many thought would win eleven games?

Please.


Who is this Denver team?.....No, Seriously

Denver appears to be this year's "feel-good" story. You know how it goes (cue voice-over): The young coach, once shat upon by the ENTIRE league, finds redemption with each new win....blah, blah, blah.

Listen....Denver is winning. Good for them.

Frankly, however, it would be nice NOT to see their twelve year old coach fist-pumping like a school boy on the sidelines after each win.

Tell the truth: is Denver really THIS good?

It's hard to imagine that a team that won on a trick play in their first game could now be 6-0 with complete command of the AFC West. They literally have no challengers and look like they will not only win the division easily but will do so before their head coach has lost his virginity—his playoff virginity that is—get your minds out the gutter.

Denver has sucker punched every team they have faced thus far and it's beginning to feel a little old. At this point, truly, it would just be nice to see what Josh McDaniels will do if he loses a game.

I vote he cries—who's with me?


Brett Favre wins....again

Favre wore out his welcome in 2008. Don't really give a flip that he's back. Never really cared about his "impact" on the Vikings.

Only a person with zero knowledge of the NFL would negate the importance of his presence on this Vikings team. All they needed was a veteran quarterback to get them over the hump and his leadership and passing ability immediately put them in the drivers seat for the NFC North.

All of that was a given.

That said, why do we have to hear the media boot licking every time he is on television or spoken of in print. You would think he is the second-coming of Johnny Unitas or Sammy Baugh.

Brett Favre is the same damn guy who holds every passing record that the Packers could conjure. He is the same guy that led said Packer team to two Super Bowl appearances and one win. He is the same guy who took a franchise from nowhere back to somewhere.

Is he older? Yes. Should we care? NOOOOOOOOO! stop talking about how he's 40! We all know he's a man—he's the same guy Ron Jaworski! The. Same. M-A-N.

Sorry, flashbacks of the Monday Night Farveball. I mean Football broadcast.

Let Brett Favre be Brett Favre without the media over-stroking. It's annoying and, frankly, makes many of us want to kick the crap out of somebody.


Tennessee....Tennessee....

After that 59-0 woodshed, mama caught me in the cookie jar, teacher caught me cheating on the test beating the Titans took on NATIONAL TELEVISION—they should never be allowed on TV again.

The last time I saw a whupping like that one, I was watching UCLA on the receiving end.

That game was literally more painful to watch than an episode of...of...well, seriously can't think of anything that was worse to watch than that game on Sunday afternoon. The Titans are dreadful.

Jeff Fisher needs to go to Oz and visit the Wizard.

He needs to see if there is anything he can do to get his mojo back.

He needs an exorcism cause something awful has taken over his coaching body.

Even more depressing was the unrelenting nature of the Pats playcalling even after it was clear that there was no way in haiti the Titans were gonna launch a comeback.

Still not sure if that was poor judgment by Bellichick or just poor taste—leaning a bit towards the latter since they still sent Tom Brady out after the half.

Tennessee doesn't look like it could beat a drum right now much less another NFL team. They may as well take that whole team down to the NFL office and forfeit the rest of the season because David Garrard, Kurt Warner, Matt Schaub, Peyton Manning, and even Shaun Hill are salivating to get at that pass defense—if you can call it that.

Funnier still, they actually put in Vince Young on Sunday. As if to say, we're screwed anyhow, may as well throw the head case in for some reps....way to build his confidence Jeff.


Some closing thoughts on the weekend

So much bad football this weekend. It felt like we all should have gotten a lobotomy to erase the sheer mediocrity of the so called "good" teams playing like chumps:

Philadelphia Eagles: great job making JaMarcus Russell look like a quarterback.

Buffalo Bills: you guys need prayer, and I mean that in the best way possible.

Baltimore Ravens: you should be 6-0. What the heck is wrong with you?

Washington Redskins: If Todd Collins is the answer, I see more Tom Collins in your future...Cheers!

Jacksonville Jaguars: There are no words for your utter ineptitude. Overtime? Against the Rams?...The Rams!

New York Giants: Wow...go sit in a corner.

Green Bay: Field goals against a Detroit team minus it's best players?....Really?

Cincinnati: Guess you were due to turn back into that pumpkin, eh?

And to the NFL—thanks for a whole lotta nothin' this weekend—I'll be back next week to be entertained all over again.

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