2007, a last place finish in the NFC East Division. 2008, a first place finish in the NFC East Division. How will the worst to first be accomplished by the Philadelphia Eagles. In just a few easy steps…
- The Eagles trade OT Winston Justice to the New York Giants. Justice is inserted opposite Trent Cole. Trent Cole records an astonishing 13 sacks in two games against the Giants.
- The Eagles continue their busy off season and trade their number one picks for the next ten years to the Cincinnati Bengals for Chad Johnson. Hey, when was the last time the Eagles used a first pick anyway!
- Philadelphia’s Missing Persons Unit is able to locate Lito Sheppard.
- James Thrash is anointed the Washington Redskins number one receiver. Donovan lobbies for a trade to the Redskins to be reunited with his former number one.
- Dallas passes an ordinance to keep strip clubs open 24/7, 365 days. Pacman Jones fails to show for the Cowboy’s first 16 games.
- Desean Jackson goes through an unexpected growth sport and reports to training camp at 6’2’’ and 215 pounds.
- Eagles finally cut Reno Mahe, Greg Lewis, and Darren Howard. Each player is immediately signed by the Minnesota Vikings.
- McNabb goes down with an injury in Week 1. Feeley is traded to the Buccaneers for Jeff Garcia. Garcia doesn’t lose a beat leading the Eagles offense.
- It is 3rd and inches and the Eagles actually run the ball.
- It is first down and the Eagles actually run the ball.
- At a post-game press conference Andy Reid gives the usual “I need to do a better job” response. But this time he actually does a better job.
- Tra Thomas and Juqua Thomas actually decide on a name. William Thomas and Juqua Parker actually decide on a name.
- Andy Reid gets new batteries for his watch and his time management skills miraculously improve.
- Lito Sheppard turns out to be the Eagles best receiver.
- The New York Giants trade Winston Justice to the Washington Redskins. Justice is inserted opposite Trent Cole. Trent Cole records an astonishing 13 sacks in two games against the Redskins.
- The end zone at Lincoln Financial Field is moved up 20 yards. The Eagles red zone problems are no more.
- The league gives the Eagles a free pass past the NFC Championship Game
- Garcia is hurt in the week leading up to the Super Bowl. Luckily McNabb has been on a hunger strike and his able to “keep his lunch.”
- The Washington Redskins trade Winston Justice to the New England Patriots. Justice is inserted opposite Trent Cole. Trent Cole sacks Brady an astonishing 7 times.
- Eagles lose the Super Bowl. Come on, it’s Philadelphia of course we are going to find a way to blow it!
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