Thyme To Rhyme: NFL Week Six Matchups

(Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

Game Juan: STL vs JAC

Jackson and Jones-Drew; who knew these would be the only two noteworthy players to mention to you?  I for one did and I'll mention to you that this game will be as boring to me as it likely will to you.  Bet on the under unless you wish your bottom line to blunder.  It will be a bore, to you this point I must implore. 

The return of Marc Bulger will not provide a the wake up to the Rams offensive offense similar to a cup made from Folgers.  A better game at 1 PM will be the matchup against the Saints and the Manning's second favorite son.

Game Two: NYG vs NO

Passing attacks and staunch D; these are the two highlights that will be apparent to thee.  Eli will hobble and passes will wobble and Brees will amaze with his passes seemingly ablaze.  It's a tough one to call with strong passing and running; defenses will surely be challenged to stall. 

I like the man who's name rhymes with freeze, with ice cold precesion, he'll slice that young secondary with the greatest of ease.  It's hard to bet that that man will go scoreless again, this is a bet you can bank on my friend.  I like the Saints in a close one, toppling the G-men from from the p-rankings. 

I always love to see a Manning take a good spanking.

Game Threeve: CAR vs Tampa

A combination of three and five, are either of these teams even alive?  A new coach in Tampa tries for his first win again, but I don't think he'll get it once again, I think a tip or two from Parcells he is begging a lend. 

Unless anyone really cares about it, I think I'll try my trade against some teams that are worth more than *spit.  This game will be lame, their offenses quit tame.  The defenses leave much to be desired; probably time for both teams to retire.

Game Four: BAL vs MIN

A huge matchup no doubt, both teams carry a lot of clout.  Favre has thus far been the man though I love to see someone give him a hand...In falling down you see, the man makes it burn when I pee. 

The Ravens need a win in a bad way unless they want to see their season fall Cincy's way.  Big test for AP as well son; do you really want to be outshined by Cedric Benson? 

What a resurgence for that guy, man can he fly?  Even though he crapped on my Bears, I have proof that he still soils his underwears.  So Flacco and Favre, neither offense will starve.  It will come down to which defense is real, and which one is real old, I predict that the Ravens will fold.

Game Five; Stayin' Alive! Stayin' Alive! DET vs GB

Can the Packers rebound and astound the NFL Nation to climb back to the top of the mound?  Against these feeble foes I don't see much trouble, unless Aaron Rogers wishes to see his team's playoff hopes burst like a bubble.  The kid has some skills, but his protection makes me ill.  Does the Pack have a running back? 

This is what their offense does seemingly lack.  Detroit, oh boy, what can I say?  It's nice to see Culpepper can still go out and play.  The guy's knee nearly exploded but his arm is a cannon; cocked, ready, and loaded. 

For Detroit it will clearly be an uphill battle, this team's only attribute as of now is knowing how to sabre rattle.  Pack in a wipeout, the Lions simply don't have the clout.

Game Six:  HOU vs CIN

So how bout the Who Deys?  Those sporting orange and black, they have a quite potent offensive attack.  They stand at four and one, that is something no one saw coming, son.  Green Bay, Pittsburgh and Baltimore fellow, this team's gelling like jello. 

So far, they impress behind the arm of General Palmer, settled in that pocket he hasn't ever looked much calmer. 

He's delivered in clutch, he's no longer in need of a crutch and that defense is for real; that's my only appeal.  Houston has disappointed and I will surely anoint them as underachievers of the year to this point; six games in a row?  Time for a joint.  Spike Lee, of COURSE!  Pull your head from your bass your silly horses ass!

Game Seven: CLE vs PIT

Mangenius no doubt! The fans will scream and shout!  Just a tone of sarcasm will overcome those about to spasm.  You know I'm just kidding; Cleveland will be sad of this teams fast paced skidding to the bottom of the league and of the curse of Mangini they will themselves long to be ridding. 

Pittsburgh will begin to mount their march to the postseason; with staunch defense, and Mike Tomlin there is plenty of reason to believe this team will destroy the protege of Bill B, it truly fills my heart with glee.  Bet the Stillers in a blowout, of this my friends I have zero doubt.

Game H8te: KC vs WAS

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