Ryan Dilbert's 10-Count: WWE Punjabi Prison Match Will Be Underwhelming Climax

1. Punjabi Prison III

When Randy Orton and Jinder Mahal collide in a Punjabi Prison match at WWE Battleground, audience members will be best off setting their expectations waning-tide low.

The WWE Championship match will be a spectacle, but one marked by obscured views and a concept that will trip up the SmackDown stars. The third chapter of the Mahal-Orton trilogy will stumble because of its surroundings. Its uniqueness won't outweigh its failings.

Orton demanded another title shot on Tuesday's SmackDown, and commissioner Shane McMahon said he would grant him one, but the champion had to pick the stipulation. Mahal chose a Punjabi Prison match for the July 23 pay-per-view.

The bamboo cage match will be only the third of its kind in WWE history.

It features a set of two cages with sharpened sticks lining the top of the structure. The wrestlers can use the weapons strewn about the ringside arena, and the winner is the man who escapes both enclosures. There are four doors that will stay open only temporarily that will become locked if no one goes through in time.

As Ryan Satin of Pro Wrestling Sheet pointed out, it's quite the convoluted concept:

It's also a bout that's hard for the fan to take in. The abundance of bamboo bars surrounding the ring force one to squint to see what's going on. 

Not surprisingly, the bout's short history is an unimpressive one.

Big Show took on Undertaker in the inaugural Punjabi Prison match at Great American Bash 2006. Batista battled The Great Khali in the second edition at No Mercy 2007. The second one was fine at best; the first was a washout.

PWTorch columnist Wade Keller wrote of Khali vs. Batista: "They made the best of their assets, but it still was a lot of lumbering, crawling, grabbing, clubbering, and climbing at slo-mo speed."

Dave Meltzer wasn't kind when handing out his ratings for the matches in the Wrestling Observer Newsletter. Khali vs. Batista earned 1.25 stars; Big Show vs. Undertaker garnered a -1 star rating, per the Internet Wrestling Database.

Now, Orton and Mahal will be subject to the same limitations that Big Show and others were.

Rather than end their feud in a balls-to-the-wall stunner of a No Disqualification match, they are going to do a lot of climbing and fight an uphill battle to put on a good show in spite of the stipulation.

The Punjabi Prison match's strength will be that it's something different, that the structure creates a striking visual. That won't be enough to hold fans' attentions. Orton vs. Mahal is poised to be a letdown as a result.

2. A Week of Women in the Spotlight

Women's wrestling had a hell of a week. 

Raw's main event on Monday featured Nia Jax, Sasha Banks and the rest of the women's division with a No. 1 Contender's Gauntlet match. Tuesday's SmackDown also closed with the women as Carmella outlasted her rivals in a Money in the Bank ladder match.

To top it off, NXT is set to follow suit when Asuka and Nikki Cross meet in a Last Man Standing match on Wednesday night.

Not only were the women in prime-time spots, but their clashes featured stipulations normally reserved for the men. Tuesday saw the second-ever women's Money in the Bank ladder match and the first women's Gauntlet match. And Cross and Asuka will be the first WWE women to battle in a Last Man Standing contest.

That has all added up to ample airtime. The women of Raw had 30 minutes to work with, and SmackDown featured 25 total minutes of women's wrestling, per CageMatch.net.

That's light-years ahead of where things were even just a few years ago.

3. Throwback Video of the Week: Dusty Rhodes

It had been 31 years since a Rhodes won a world title. That was until Ring of Honor's Best in the World PPV this past Friday, in which Cody Rhodes won the ROH World Championship.

Cody was only one year old when his father, Dusty Rhodes, dethroned Ric Flair in a steel cage at the Great American Bash in 1986.

That was quite the magical moment—what a celebration. The American Dream's connection to the crowd was something special.

Three decades later, Cody was able to continue the tradition of the Rhodes family holding gold. 

4. The Alpha Female Announced 

The Mae Young Classic is set to welcome a bruiser from Germany fans should keep their eyes on. WWE announced that Jazzy "Alpha Female" Gabert will be among the entrants in the women's tournament set to kick off in July. 

Gabert is a hard-hitting, intimidating powerhouse. She's a badass with an animalistic battle cry.

The former MMA fighter has won championships for both Pro-Wrestling: EVE and World Wonder Ring Stardom. She's wrestled men, clashed with fellow tourney entrant Toni Storm and choked out folks all over Europe and Japan. 

The Alpha Female is sure to be one of the more compelling figures when the Mae Young Classic unfolds.

5. Another WCW Facepalm Story

Chris Jericho isn't shy about trashing WCW and talking about how dysfunctional the company was during his time there. Y2J posted a shot on Instagram of an old check he found from the defunct promotion: 

The "Vince Russo killed WCW" narrative has always been an oversimplified one. Russo didn't print checks for amounts less than the cost of a stamp. There's plenty of blame to go around.

6. The Pro-Hillary Clinton Heel

Go ahead and rearrange your best heel in pro wrestling rankings. The Progressive Liberal Dan Richards needs a spot near the top.

The star of Appalachian Mountain Wrestling is deftly using politics to draw big-time heat. Richards, who was featured in a Deadspin article by Samer Kalaf, has worn a shirt covered in images of Hillary Clinton and argued for gun control to make him a hated villain in the Kentucky independent wrestling scene:

Someone needs to do a social justice warrior gimmick and join forces with Richards to form the ultimate Trump-country heat magnet tag team.

7. Enzo and Cass' Resume

Enzo Amore and Big Cass split before they could capture gold. In fact, The Realest Guys in the Room's dramatic breakup happened before they could do much of anything numbers-wise.

Credit: WWE.com

Amore and Cass had zero title reigns at NXT and the main roster. Per CageMatch.net, the duo had zero wins at NXT TakeOver specials and only four PPV wins. They only had one appearance at both SummerSlam and WrestleMania.

They fought in four WWE tag team title matches and three NXT title bouts, going 0-7.

If WWE history teaches us anything, though, even the most violent of tag team divorces aren't always forever. A reunion is sure to be on the horizon, allowing Amore and Cass to restart their quest for championship glory.

8. For Those Missing The Bulgarian Brute

Rusev hasn't wrestled on TV since March. He hasn't appeared in person on SmackDown since joining the brand in the Superstar Shake-up in April.

A shoulder injury has kept him out of action until this week. But the blue brand chose to sit a healthy Rusev on Tuesday night, denying fans of The Bulgarian Brute their hoss fix.

Check out these clips and highlights of some of Rusev's best matches to hold yourself over until he returns to the ring:

• Rusev vs. Big E: Money in the Bank 2014
• Rusev vs. John Cena: Fastlane 2015
• Rusev vs. John Cena: Payback 2015
• Rusev vs. Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro: Raw, July 25, 2016 (Fatal 4-Way)
• Rusev vs. Roman Reigns: Clash of Champions 2016

Rusev inserting himself into the United States Championship picture would be mighty fun. Or else he could give Tye Dillinger his first real test on the main roster. Either way, it's about time we saw Rusev crushing someone again.

9. More Miz in the Miztourage, Please

Having Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas join The Miz as his "Miztourage" is a crafty move.

It gives two low-card guys with nothing to do a clear direction and guaranteed airtime. It adds a new wrinkle in The Miz's shtick. And WWE writers now have more options to play with when it comes to The A-lister.

Axel and Dallas have to transform, though. They are currently their standard selves standing alongside The Miz.

The intercontinental champion needs to have an influence on reshaping their characters. The Miztourage should wear high-priced, ridiculous attire. They need to grow snootier, saunter everywhere and fake laugh into the camera.

The Miz shaping his cronies in his image will give them the chance to be the surprise hit of the summer.

10. Stone Cold on Lana

Lana's clash with Naomi for the SmackDown Women's Championship at Money in the Bank, her in-ring solo debut, had Steve Austin pining for the past. 

Stone Cold said (link contains NSFW language) on The Steve Austin Show last week, "Lana wasn't up for this task at hand at this point in her career. I thought she had much more mystique as the valet, whatever the term is, for Rusev."

"I just liked her the way she was," Austin added.

He's not the only one. Furious, growling boss lady Lana was the best. She was a top-notch manager in an era with so few of them.

She has her work cut out for her in proving that moving into the ring was the right choice.

Ryan Dilbert is Bleacher Report's Lead WWE Writer. Read some of his best wrestling writing and fiction at ryandilbert.com.