Wisconsin Gives Green Light For NFL Players To Run Red Lights

The land that gave us bratwursts and Kohl's, cheese and Greta Van Susteren, has now set a precedent that is surely going to ire the residents of Green Bay, Wisconsin.

The Wisconsin Senate has passed a bill that allows NFL players (who are tardy getting to Lambeau Field) to run red lights via police escort. It awaits the Governor's signature, who is expected to sign it.

One of the main proponents of the bill was the Radisson Paper Valley Hotel in Appleton, the normal digs for all of the Green Bay Packers' opponents. Their position was clear- a police procession would ensure the players get to Lambeau Field on time, and thus, ensure future reservations with all of the Packers' opponents.

"It's not just about the Packers. It's about statewide special events, VIPs, and right now the only people who can go through stoplights and stop signs are funeral processions," said Sen. Dave Hansen, D-Green Bay.

Uh, OK, Dave. 

Suuuuuuuuure it isn't about the Packers. After all, if the Packers weren't in Green Bay, we would still come to Green Bay every Sunday, right?

Hansen's a pure politician, isn't he?

I'm fairly sure all of Hansen's future visits to the Radisson Paper Valley Hotel will be comped, just as I am sure the hotel's manager will fall into luck every Sunday and be treated to some 50 yard-line seats from an anonymous donor.

The VIPs in Green Bay actually causes one to pause and reflect, doesn't it? Are we talking about people late to a ribbon-cutting ceremony at a bridge renovation? Or President Obama?

Apparently, there's just too much stuff going on in Green Bay, dammit, and this bill is not about the NFL.

No. No. No.

The silliness of this whole thing is obvious- how many dignitaries have had problems getting around Green Bay? Better yet, how many dignitaries have visited Green Bay so far this year? And how many were late getting to their VIP functions?

Green Bay is a very spread-out city and traffic is NOT an issue. Sure, it gets a little hairy on game days, but I'll take their traffic over the Raiders or 49ers' traffic any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Talladega, Alabama is much smaller than Green Bay, and for some reason, getting 180,000 people in and out of the venue on NASCAR race days, while grueling, isn't cause for a change in law.

"Leave earlyfor the race" seems to work there.

To prove my point about traffic problems in Green Bay, I went to weather.com and clicked on traffic information for Green Bay, Wisconsin. This message came up in a box: "Traffic information is not available for Green Bay, WI (54344). Zoom out to view traffic coverage."

If you don't have traffic information for a city, you don't have traffic problems.

The whole thing is a bit convoluted, but one thing is for sure- maybe the friggin Radisson Paper Valley Hotel ought check their wake-up service to see if it works properly.

Maybe the training staff and assistant coaches should instill a little more discipline? Maybe they should leave an hour earlier for work like all the rest of us idiots do?

Meanwhile, I wonder how all the expectant mothers in Wisconsin are feeling about this bill.

Hey, if you're in labor, wait at the damn light. You aren't important enough, but an NFL player late to work is.

Get your priorities straight, woman!

There's nothing like seeing Brett Favre in a Vikings uni getting an escort through a red light when your water just broke over your Lexus' leather seat while you wait for the procession, is there?

There will be, of course, the inevitable football player who " misremembers" what the rule is and takes it upon himself to run the red lights, without the police escort, in his giant rented SUV.

You just know this will happen because time and time again, these logic-challenged players don't understand the rules until after they break them.

"We can run red lights and stop lights going to Lambeau Field? Let's rip it, boys!"

When do the Bengals play the Packers at Lambeau next year?

It should be an interesting Sunday.