Lookout Foxworthy, You Might Be a Genuine "Oakland" Raider Fan If...

Big AL FanContributor IOctober 3, 2009

17 Aug 1994:  President and general manager Al Davis of the Los Angeles Raiders watches his team during a workout during training camp in El Segundo, California.  Mandatory Credit: Gary Newkirk/ALLSPORT

Lookout Foxworthy,
You might be a Genuine "Oakland" Raider fan if...


This is the first installment of You Might Be a Genuine "Oakland" Raider Fan if...

You might be a Genuine "Oakland" Raider Fan if...

You can’t wait for Saturday to be over.

You plan your life and your family's life to not conflict with game time.

The worst day of your life was (May 7, 1982 - Raiders move to L.A. confirmed.)

You cried on or your gut "hit the floor" on (May 7, 1982)

Any other family member cried on (May 7, 1982)

You would die before you would ever jump on the local 49ers Bandwagon following the move or at anytime.

The best day of your life was on (June 23, 1995 - Al signs Letter to Come Back to Oakland)

You felt you had a new lease on life on (June 23, 1995).

You realize the most unprecedented "action of loyalty" in sports history happened on (June 23, 1995).

You are eternally grateful to the man who orchestrated that action on (June 23,1995) (Thank you AL!)

You are angry that no one has ever seen it the way described above and you know it’s true.

You do not take for granted the privilege of having your favorite NFL team reside local to you.

Your Grandma preferred to listen to Bill King depicting the game with his voice on transistor radio vs. watching the game on TV.

Your PIN number contains Raider Player numbers.

Your dream is that you are Charlie and Al pulls a “Wille Wonka” on you.

You get "choked up", “get chills” or both when you hear a classic Bill King Raider Call.

Your Grandma's "Super Bowl" was the 1980 Wild Card Game, Raiders vs. Oilers (Raiders vs. Stabler, Casper, Tatum).

Your entire week is affected when "we" loose.

Your blood boils when a biased or incompetent journalist’s unfairly singles out and belittles one of the most storied organizations in the best sport in the world.

You desperately want to wipe the smirks off the faces off of all the so called experts who openly disrespect the team.

You hate the dink-and-dunk, but know you must at times to setup the vertical game.

You truly believe you did your part in earning three rings.

You expect the Raiders to win every game they ever play.

You expect the Raiders to win the Super Bowl every year.

Every week you do the math until they are eliminated from the playoffs.

You know any fan that has ever caught and kept a football following a FG (before FG nets were in place).

You would bet the farm on an all-time Raider team vs. an all-time any other team in the NFL.

If you had a choice to meet any person ever in the world who ever lived (except Jesus) and your choice is Al Davis.

You feel the local media is completely incompetent in covering any sport or any team, period.

You love the format and breakdowns given from shows offered by Sirius NFL Radio.

Your radio is always tuned to Sirius NFL Radio.

You believe "the Razor and Mr. T" and Damon Bruce provide completely incompetent empty analysis.

JTtheBrick is one of your media hero's.

You do not leave your seat until the clock reads 00:00 no matter the score.

You experience physical pain when any fan leaves before the clock reads 00:00 no matter the score.

You don’t boo your own team, especially when they lose, are losing, or in duress at critical times during a game.

You would never boo a struggling young team comprised of members which will soon provide a dynasty of greatness for years to come.

You are definitely not a (Genuine) Oakland Raider if...

You have ever said these words, "Oh, I used to like the Raiders when I was a kid but because of that Al Davis blah, blah....)

You were "all in" during the glory years and loved Al then, but now you "hate" the Raiders and Al.

You did not play any sport as a kid.

Your parents did not play any sport as kids.

The following words mean "nothing" to you:

The Assasian
The Mad Stork
The 'Tuz'
Man from the University of MARS
The "snake"
The "Mad Bomber"
Heidi Game
Sea of Hands
Immaculate Reception
The Lytle Fumble
Cliff's Corner
The Snow Game
The tuck Rule
"Holy Toledo"

You consider these words as corny catch phrases, take them with a "grain of salt" or consider them a joke:

"Just Win Baby"
"Pride and Poise"
"Commitment to Excellence"
"The Greatness of the Raiders"

You believe any "snotty nosed" rich punk or punk kid who inherited an NFL team like a toy, and did not come through the ranks could even out-manage Al.

You believe the bad calls, game in and game out, over the last 14 years are just figments of Raider fans imagination.

You don’t understand what they mean by a "game of inches".

You don’t realize that one seemingly bad call, no call, misplaced spot, clock over-run, or clock under-run can easily decide the outcome of a game.

You don’t quite understand why they talk about "momentum", the "ebb and flow" and "a rhythm".

You are a referee.
You do not know the answer to the trivia questions below.

Which NFL coach has the best regular season winning percentage for his career, Vince Lombardi or John Madden?

Which NFL coach who still has the best regular season winning percentage of all time was black-balled for 23 years before being inducted into the HOF?

How many of the eight coaches who went into the Hall before Madden (although he was eligible) won more games them Madden?

You have been a 49ers fan since the day after "The Catch".

You like cut-blocking.

You think Randy Cross, Trent Dilfer, Tom Jackson, Chris Carter or Rodney Harrison are credible analyst’s.

You are a die-hard 49ers fan posing as an objective journalist who dreams of holding Joe Montana's jock and is intent on disrespecting the Raiders.

You are a die-hard other team fan posing as an objective journalist who's team or dad's team got beaten to oblivion by the Raiders.

You are an ex-NFL player posing as an objective commentator who got your tail bashed in by the Raiders and is intent on disrespecting the Raiders.

You are a fat ex-Raider player who did not earn a contract and decides to bash the Raiders at the drop of a dime.

You think for a moment that Al gives a damn about your opinions except when your unprofessional maliciousness projects the Organization in an untruthful negative light.

You are an ex-Raider QB who is the most arrogant, so full of himself individual on earth who believes he was "the team", complains about lack of leadership but could not provide an ounce of it at the most critical time in the most critical moments in the Super Bowl.

You are an ex-Raider QB who believes he has the right to critique a young QB who will soon show you how to win a Super Bowl.