WWE SummerSlam 2016: Worst Matches in History of PPV

This is the second-most popular list one could write about SummerSlam. But surprisingly, it’s difficult to brainstorm.

There are many classic matches from the past 28 SummerSlams. There are many middling matches from the past 28 SummerSlams. But how many outright stinkers have there been at The Biggest Party of the Summer? They’re actually few and far between. It’d be easier to come up with a list detailing the worst matches at WrestleMania; the matches at SummerSlam are consistent by comparison.

Each match on this list fulfills one of two possible qualifications (and in some cases, it fulfills both of them). One, the match is technically horrible, filled with botches, poor athleticism or sloppy ringwork. Two, the match is narratively bad, serving little consequence, burying an undeserving wrestler or making little sense in the context of the bigger storyline. Both qualifications aren't good, but the latter is arguably worse and has a more lasting, deleterious effect.

Here are the worst matches in the history of SummerSlam. The party is always fun until someone takes a dump in the pool.

The Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez (1993)

Credit: WWE.com

The Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez at WrestleMania IX is widely considered to be one of the worst matches in the history of The Showcase of the Immortals. The Undertaker hadn’t hit his prime. Giant Gonzalez was yet another immobile big man who looked impressive but couldn’t wrestle. It ended when Gonzalez got himself disqualified for using chloroform on The Undertaker.

So what did WWE decide to do after that debacle? Have a rematch at SummerSlam, of course! This contest ended with a pinfall, but that’s the best thing that can be said about it. Undertaker would one day become a legend who fought classic match after classic match. This was not that day.

Tazz vs. Jerry Lawler (2000)

Tazz was a hard, brutal man from ECW, and he should have been built up as a dangerous threat—a veteran who knew his way around the ring. Instead, Tazz languished in the lower end of the midcard for months before SummerSlam in 2000 (Chris Jericho was kicking Tazz's ass on every Raw at one point). But a match and loss against an aging color commentator? This was beyond the pale.

Yes, Jerry Lawler is a Memphis legend. One could do worse than losing to a Memphis legend. But this was yet another case in a long pattern of wasted potential. It seemed more about Vince McMahon’s superiority complex over WCW and ECW than what would be best for business.

The Oddities vs. Kaientai (1998)

Credit: WWE.com

At WrestleMania 17, the Gimmick Battle Royal, starring many WWE legends and Hall of Famers, was given a little over three minutes. The handicap match between The Oddities vs. Kaientai at SummerSlam in 1998 was given over 10 minutes. Ten minutes of stupid pratfalls and bad comedy. There are championship fights that have been given less time in recent years.

Furthermore, The Oddities were played to the ring by the Insane Clown Posse, and by any standard of good taste, that’s questionable.

Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna (1993)

I had this match on a WWE videocassette of SummerSlam highlights as a kid. Every time I watched it, I never understood why every babyface jumped in the ring and celebrated with Lex Luger at the end of his match against WWE champion Yokozuna in 1993. He won by count-out, which meant he won the match but didn’t win the title. The post-match celebration didn’t match the disappointing result.

When I found out, years later, how backstage politics and booking worked at WWE, it made a lot more sense. But having come that far, WWE should have given Luger the chance to run with the belt. A failed, short run would have been the preferable outcome. Instead, Luger, who was built up sky-high as an All-American hero (with videos such as the one above), never recovered. He lost another match against Yokozuna at the following WrestleMania. Vince McMahon had failed at finding a replacement for Hulk Hogan. He wouldn’t succeed until years later, when Stone Cold Steve Austin started raising hell and whooping ass.

William Regal vs. Christian (2009)

Credit: WWE.com

William Regal is one of the most underrated wrestlers to have ever laced up a pair of boots. He knows his way around the ring; he’s a wizard when it comes to technical know-how. That’s one of the reasons why he’s a perfect fit in NXT.

So what did WWE Creative do when it put him in an ECW Championship match on the biggest stage of the summer in 2009? It had him pinned in nine seconds. This was such a wide chasm between expectation and result. We could have gotten a 15-minute showcase of old-school grappling. Instead, we got the punchline to a stupid joke.

Team WWE vs. The Nexus (2010)

John Cena gets criticism from a lot of longtime fans for winning all the time, especially against younger talents. Some of this criticism is undeserved; Cena is arguably the hardest worker on the roster, and he’s the top guy in the company because he’s grafted to be the top guy. But in 2010, Cena deserved all the flak for his role in the SummerSlam main event.

The Nexus was a stable of up-and-comers led by Wade Barrett, who needed the legitimacy that would come with a big win on a big stage. Instead, according to Edge and Jericho, Cena ended the match in ridiculous fashion; he took a DDT to the concrete floor but came back to win the match. Jericho told him it was dumb. Edge told him it was dumb. After the match, even Cena admitted it was dumb. But it was too late. It wasn’t long before The Nexus dissolved, Barrett started shuffling around the midcard and Heath Slater...well, enough said.

Batista vs. The Great Khali (2007)

The Great Khali is not a ring technician. This much is obvious. But his massiveness (he was billed at 7'1") gave him an appeal; P.T. Barnum would have charged 25 cents for the public to gawk at this guy. And Vince McMahon, who’s probably the closest spiritual successor to Barnum we have today, thought the same thing. McMahon loves giants, and Khali won the World Heavyweight Championship purely off his size.

It’s one thing, however, to gawk at a giant sauntering to the ring and another to watch him wrestle. And when you put him against a guy like Batista, who’s not particularly adept in the squared circle, you get a match such as the one the two had at SummerSlam 2007. It should have felt like Godzilla vs. King Kong or Rodan vs. King Ghidorah. Instead, we got two unwieldy guys no-selling each other until the disqualification finish, when Khali clocked Batista with a steel chair. Batista won by default. Khali retained the belt. And everybody booed.

The Kat vs. Terri (2000)

If you ever need a reminder of how terrible women’s wrestling used to be, watch this Stinkface match between The Kat and Terri from 2000—because when you think sexy time, you think “stinkface.”

This match failed at being technically proficient—they fought in high heels—and it failed the simple task of being titillating. How, exactly, did WWE have a match between two young women in thongs and make it unsexy? Well, the company managed it. This was just weird, gross and uncoordinated. One gets secondhand embarrassment from rewatching it on the WWE Network.

King Mabel vs. Diesel (1995)

Warning: Video contains NSFW language.

Against all odds, Nelson Frazier Jr. (aka Big Daddy V, aka Viscera, aka Mabel) was in the main event of SummerSlam with Diesel in 1995. A 400-plus-pound man was pitted against a cumbersome giant with six moves, and the result was even worse than we anticipated.

As Kevin Nash (aka Diesel) relayed in the above podcast, Mabel was not only slow in the ring, but also unsafe. And during a routine sitdown splash halfway through the match, he put all of his weight on Diesel’s lower back. It injured Diesel’s abdominal muscles, and the champion was forced to wrestle the rest of the contest with numbness in his legs. Backstage, Vince McMahon was supposedly ready to fire Mabel on the spot until Diesel intervened.

Mabel had spent the entire summer hyping this match as the culmination of his “royal plan.” Instead, through a combination of its overhyped importance, recklessness, poor ringwork and terrible ending (Diesel pinned his opponent after a shoulder block), this match goes down as the worst in SummerSlam history.