Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
It's not often a team wins when the number of incompletions tossed by its quarterback exceeds the number of points scored. But it happens, as the Raiders 13-10 win over the Chiefs proved. JaMarcus Russell was 7-of-24 for 109 yards. Oakland is 1-1 and in a tie for second in the AFC West.
"Look, the important thing is JaMarcus didn't turn the ball over," says Tom Cable. "We're not going to win offensive shootouts. For us to be competitive, we'll have to win with defense and conservative offensive play-calling. Slowly, I'm seeing players and coaches alike buying into my system. I want my players to drink the Kool-Aid, and my coaches to swallow the 'punch.'"
"If they continue to do so, the Raiders will be relevant again, and maybe Ice Cube will stop making family-friendly movies and put back on his Raider gear like a real man."
"One thing's for sure," says Josh McDaniels. "You don't need a miracle to beat the Browns. But it never hurts to ask for one."
"Yes, Stokley's touchdown catch was a miracle. And, if lighting should strike twice, I just hope one of them hits Brandon Marshall."
Raiders win, 16-13.