Sssssshhh! New York's Running Donkey Has Something to Say

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Sssssshhh! New York's Running Donkey Has Something to Say
(Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images)

If you're not familiar with the player pictured above laying prostrate on the ground like a dead guppy, that would be none other than New York Giant running back, Brandon Jacobs.  Or, as I like to affectionately call him, "the world's dumbest professional athlete."

A little harsh?  Trust me, it's not really.

See, Jacobs has a problem. 

He has a pea-sized brain that sits inside a malformed cone-shaped cranium which rests on top of a giant 6'4" 264 lbs frame.

More precisely, Jacobs' brain has developed just enough to where he's able to acknowledge audible sounds (like reporter questions), form short bursts of complete sentences that at times can produce the following gems:

On the subject of Tony Romo...(PFT.com - Gregg Rosenthal)

"I don't think he's that good a passer, to be honest with you [...] I'm not a fan of Tony Romo, no.  Keep him in the pocket, he's not that good. [...] His luck will be gone sooner or later.  If you were to keep Tony Romo in the pocket he's not that effective."

On the Cowboys playing host to the Giants during thier home opener at the new stadium...(Matt Mosley blog)

"They should've put Detriot in there instead of us."

These are strange comments indeed. 

With the confidence and voracity of the statements, you would think the Giants have been eating Romo and the Cowboys' lunch.

Here are the facts:

- In 40 career regular season starts, Romo sports a .700 win percentage (28-12).

- 95.7 career QB rating. Steve Young holds the highest career rating (min. 1,500 attempts) at a 96.81 clip.  Romo currently has 1,334 attempts.

- Dallas has beaten the Giants in four of their last six regular season matchups. Dallas also owns the all-time series edge (55-37-2).

- Dallas has won (4-0) every regular season matchup that Romo has started against the Giants.

Now, are these numbers fool-proof in proving Romo's greatness?   

No.

Nor do they take away from the impressive Super Bowl run the Giants made in 2007, beating the Cowboys in Dallas along the way.

However, the Giants are nowhere close to having the Cowboys' number.  Not to mention you don't accumulate wins and numbers like that by pure "luck."

In light of the aforementioned comments, Jacobs' hot air turns out to be nothing but a whimpering sneeze. 

Speaking of whimpering, does anyone remember the flustered mess Jacobs was after the '07 home loss to the Cowboys. 

You remember that game, right? 

That's the one where Crayton laid the ball across the goaline for the touchdown, instead of running it all the way in.  Crayton in a post game interview likened the win to going into someone elses house and slapping their mama.

Jacobs got wind of this as he was interviewed in his locker room and was visibly shaken, only managing to whimper, "Patrick Crayton sucks!"

Oh, the memories!

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