Please Read Before Visitng Me at The Black Hole

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Please Read Before Visitng Me at The Black Hole

The picture is the type of people I don't want to sit next to. Dorky kids, acting stupid and throwing up in the Black Hole.

 

Snippet of my article from my hubpages. The hub has video and more pictures...

http://hubpages.com/hub/Black-Hole-Adventures-Homefield-Rules

 

Go Raiders! Silver and Black for life! Just Win Baby!

This is my fourth year sitting in these season ticket seats.

Section 105, row 17.

Every year we each spend $610 on ten thrilling games. Not bad when it breaks down to $61 a game. It's a fraction of the old costs when you had to buy seat licenses.

We sit or actually stand in the upper Black Hole, where the costumed fans slowly fade away. It’s still close enough that you gotta stay on your feet.

My buddy and I bought these seats after I befriended the Raiderettes during my newscast adventures. One of the cheerleaders announced on Myspace that tickets were about to go on sale cheap. Yay! Childhood ambition comes true. Steve and Marc are going to the Black Hole!

In four seasons, we’ve only seen like 6 wins, maybe two dozen arrests, and dozens of annoying neighbors. I’m lucky enough to sit in the endzone where the players run out of during pregame intros.

 

Proper Black Hole Conduct

To kick off this awesome season of Raiders football, I will go over proper Black Hole etiquette. There are things you cannot do in Oakland, and if you do it, people will look at you funny.

Some may even kick your butt.

Dress Code

DO NOT WEAR THE OTHER TEAM’S JERSEY. If you’re a Chargers or Broncos or some fan of another team, you shouldn’t even be in the stadium. There’s a cheering section behind the visiting team’s bench. That should be the safest bet. To enter the famed Black Hole in something not the Raiders is asking for it. You’ll get ridiculed and yelled at. You might even get punched in the face. At the end of the day, when security comes, it will be YOUR FAULT!!!

If you’re in the stadium wearing another random jersey, (not a raiders, not the visiting team) You’re just as bad as if you were wearing the visiting team’s jersey. Especially if it’s a 49ers jersey. Just wear a wife beater.

Drinking

Drinking is welcomed, but for the love of God no throwing up. It’s not cool. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone at a football game gets drunk. Fans can have a beer or two, sit back and cheer for the Raiders. Real Raider fans can hold their liquor.

Economically, it spells disaster at 7 bucks a beer. If you want to get drunk do it in the parking lot or on the BART train. It’s cheaper, and by the time you get to your seat, you won’t be too hammered.

Noise

Go ahead and cuss, it’s the Black Hole. We can get away with it. People know better not to bring their kids there. Kids there that are exposed to the drinking and cussing will grow up to be great members of the Raider Nation.

Joining chants, cussing out opposing players, and even our own players, is acceptable.

What is not acceptable are overly aggressive amped up kids yelling out “This is War”

When the other team is marching towards your side of the Black Hole, yell out obscenities. Crowd noise does distract and throw off other players. I honestly think Jay Cutler may have been offended by my “Gay Clit-ler” chants. When the Raiders are marching, you must be quiet, applaude the good plays, cheer for big plays. But once Jamarcus Russel breaks the huddle, you gotta pipe down so we can get the play off.

Seating Arrangements

Don’t sit in a seat that’s not yours. Believe me, it’s someone’s seat. The ushers are more than happy to assist you. Once you get to your seat, you’re probably not going to sit down. In the Black Hole, you stand upright for 95 percent of the game.

There will be a few dead moments such as TV timeouts and between quarters.

If you sit down anytime during the game, don’t bother asking the person in front of you to sit down. It’s like trying to tame a stampede. Be prepared to stand and wear comfortable shoes. Do not stand on your chair and obstruct someone’s view, unless you’re some kind of midget. You may stand up if the two rows behind you have no one there.

Halftime

I’ll be honest, we’ve been on recession halftime mode for the past couple years even before the recession. It seems like every game we get some massive high school or middle school cheerleader halftime show.

Honestly, the show sucks.

You don’t want to watch no ten-year-olds cheering. This is the best time to get up, go pee pee, grab food, and grab a beer.

Kids

The little ones are welcome, but as I said, be careful of the cussing, drinking, and fighting. The thing I've noticed is some folks kinda get drunk or too into the game and they neglect their kids. It looks bad; the kids are bored or crying, but mom and dad are drunk. If you got kids at the game, for the love of God be responsible and keep an eye on them.

Be Friendly

Especially in the Black Hole, we're all fellow Raider fans, except for the moron who wears the opposing team's jersey. We all cheer for the same team, we're all citizens of the Raider Nation. No need to beat each other up, it's not going to help our team. In fact if Raider fans fight each other, it's just like the team and players, and Tom Cable.

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