Chad Johnson to the Philadelphia Eagles: the Impossible Dream

Ever since a certain Terrell Eldorado Owens left town a few years back, the Philadelphia Eagles haven’t been the same.

Yes, Brian Westbrook has broken out and become a premiere running back. But besides Westbrook, the team, and the offense, has either been stagnant or in a downward trend. Take last year’s pathetic red-zone production (45 percent, 24th in the league).

If not for Jeff Garcia’s Travolta-like rebirth and incredible drive to the playoffs (which of course ended when Andy Reid gagged and punted late in the game to a Saints team that had been running wild on them all day), this team may not have had an over-.500 finish since that glorious, ill-fated ’04-’05 season.

While Donovan McNabb’s health has been an on-and-off issue, his supporting cast continues to be a steadily confounding one. Kevin Curtis, Reggie Brown, LJ Smith...stop me when I mention someone that actually scares an opposing defense.

Last year’s up-and-down—ultimately down—year of 8-8 is just not good enough. The addition of Asante Samuel on defense will surely help the turnovers go up for the defense, a problem the last couple of years.

The other, more glaring problem is that Asante Samuel doesn’t play receiver. And that’s what they need. Desperately.

They tried with Larry Fitzgerald, but that didn’t work.

They tried with Randy Moss. Ha, that was funny.

They tried with Roy Williams, and apparently they weren’t able to out-fox that crafty receiver collector, Matt Millen.

They may still try with Anquan Boldin. Who knows?

Which leaves us with one real option: Mr. Cincinnati, Chad Johnson.

Johnson is the one guy out there, who if he sticks to his pledge, will be available at some point before the start of the season. Unlike promising rookie DeShaun Jackson, Johnson is a proven NFL commodity. A Pro-Bowl receiver who needs a change of scenery like Andy Reid needs a diet: real bad.

He helps this team right here, right now. 

With Johson in the fold, this team is suddenly very dangerous. Curtis, Brown, and Johnson are a very good receiving corps. Curtis is a great, fast outside compliment to Johnson, who will go anywhere on the field. Add superstar Westbrook, a now healthy LJ Smith, and an (presumably) ecstatic, rejuvenated Donovan McNabb, and they can play with, and beat, anyone.

So here it is, a short list of why this will happen and, of course, why it won’t.

Will Happen: Andy Reid is not a dummy.

If the failed pursuit of Moss and Fitzgerald tells us anything, it’s that Reid is not a total idiot, living in a self-delusional bubble. He knows they need help, and he has tried to get it. He even drafted Jackson with a second-round pick, even though at this point his contribution is seen more in the return game. You have to believe if the Bengals give them any opening, they will look into it.

Won’t Happen: Marvin Lewis is a dummy.

If he was smart, he would’ve stopped with the tough talk aimed at Chad, and traded him to Washington for two No.1 picks on draft day. Two No. 1 picks! Someone in the organization better tell Sheriff Lewis that his job is to win games, not to try and settle personal issues in the media. Not trading a guy who may not play this year, and even if does will make himself a huge distraction, for two No. 1 picks is the definition of stupid.

Look what the Eagles ultimately got for standing up to Owens: a measly cash settlement and the joy of playing against him twice a year in Dallas.

Added Bonus: Now that Washington drafted two receivers back-to-back in the second round, you have to believe their interest in Johnson has at least cooled.

Will Happen: Chad Johnson can be really annoying.

Johnson has barely started the kind of verbal volleys that got T.O. kicked out of Philly, and already we have seen Carson Palmer and Lewis giving annoyed, frustrated answers to questions about Johnson. What happens when the season actual gets started and reporters are asking everyday about him? Not to mention the several hundred thousand interviews Johnson himself is bound to do.

Won’t Happen: Salary cap hit.

I don’t pretend to fully understand this, but it appears that if the Bengals cut or trade Johnson, they will reportedly have to take a cap hit of anywhere from $5 to $8 million. $8 mill for a player who won’t be wearing your uniform this year is not a good deal. Seems like stuff like this can get worked out in negotiations if you have a flexible trading partner, but it doesn’t look good.

Won’t Happen: Drew Rosenhaus is Johnson’s agent. 

Three words: Driveway. Press. Conference.

Will Happen: Lito Shepherd.

Last time I checked, the Bengals defense was either getting scored on or going to the clink. Lito Shepherd is a Pro-Bowl corner, and at 27 is in the prime of his career. He has missed some games in the past due to injury, but when he plays, he is a difference maker.

I’m not sure if the Bengals know that Shepherd is available, but he is. Hmm, two teams with needs, two teams with players who could help the other—and they’re in different conferences.

Won’t Happen: Terrell Eldorado Owens.

As great as Owens was in ’04, his outsized personality, greed, and mouth were that bad in ’05. Reid was never in favor of Owens and his baggage coming to Philly, having been persuaded by Eagle management and McNabb. Something tells me he is no hurry to get another potential time bomb—no matter much he would help them out.

Will Happen: They don’t need him.

One thing that Bengals haven’t had problems with is scoring points, and Johnson has been a part of that. But what ultimately has it gotten them? The fact is, T.J. Houshmandzadeh (28 TDs last three seasons) is just as good as Johnson (24 TDs last three seasons).

Rudi Johnson is a solid, steady back. And Carson Palmer is arguably a top-five quarterback. Cutting Chris Henry doesn’t even hurt that much, because he’s barely been there the last two years. With or without Johnson, this team will score enough points to win games.

Will Happen: Odell Thurman.

After waiting around and supporting this clown for the past two years, the Bengals decided they’ve had enough, and cut the trouble-making Thurman over the amount of time he was away from the team on a family matter (a funeral, actually). Which after all the other nonsense he’s pulled, seems a little odd to say the least.

The reason I mention this is that maybe this—combined with the cutting of Henry—is a sign that the Bengals are looking to right this ship and go for the proverbial clean slate by parting ways with all the problems in their locker room. I think it’s safe to say Johnson fits into that category.


Ultimately, it’s going to be up to Johnson to bust out of Bengal-land, because he has a contract—not that that has ever stopped a highly motivated, highly talented receiver in this league.

Seeing that Lewis has already called Johnson’s bluff in public, the next move is Johnson’s. Will he back down and vow to play nice, or will he up the ante on Lewis and start the real fireworks?

I don’t know where this ends up, but I do know that Philly loves a good fireworks show.