Superman: The NBA Legacy

Joseph ManuelContributor IAugust 27, 2009

PHOENIX - FEBRUARY 14:  Dwight Howard of the Orlando Magic emerges from a phone booth wearing a Superman cape during the Sprite Slam Dunk Contest on All-Star Saturday Night, part of 2009 NBA All-Star Weekend at US Airways Center on February 14, 2009 in Phoenix, Arizona.  NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

Dwight Howard is a biter.  Plain and simple.

But after all, any young, aspiring, and talented center should want to be like Shaquille O'Neal.  But exactly like Shaquille O'Neal?  Please, Dwight.

Sure, Howard is goofy.  He's the best center in the game right now.  He plays in Orlando.  He stares at his left hand after he scores using it, much like O'Neal.  But, really though.  The whole Superman thing?  Shaq hasn't even retired.

If Dwight Howard really wants to bite Shaq's style, at least waiting until he retires would be the most appropriate thing to do.  It's disrespectful.  Only after Biggie died did Nas and Jay-Z battle to be the king of New York.  They would have never stepped to the throne while he was alive. 

Howard's claims to be Superman, coupled with his ridiculous slam-dunk contest performance (really?  really?!?!?  A phone booth??) are only pushing his limits. 

He is not Superman.  Shaquille O'Neal is. 

Dwight Howard is Clark Kent.

Superman is how he is.  That is his identity.  Kent is the alter-ego for Superman, not the other way around.  Kent is the lamer, tame, and more effeminate version of Superman.

Not to call Dwight Howard lame, tame, and effeminate, but, compared to Shaq in his prime, Howard is indeed lame, tame, and effeminate (forgive my redundancy).

Howard does not need to do this to himself.  It's embarrassing.  Shaq was the baddest mother****** in his prime.  Yes, he was goofy, but, when it came down to business, he would truly reveal himself to be Superman, sans the faster than a speeding bullet.

As of now, with Superman going to Cleveland (his laser vision will come in handy to battle snow-sealed doors) and Clark Kent staying in Orlando (his journalism prowess will come in handy to cover the University of Florida winning the BCS), they will be able to go against each other more often, since they now reside in the same conference.

And expect Superman to separate himself from Clark Kent.  Superman wants nothing to do with his other half.  So he will do whatever he can to make sure the two aren't comparable.  In other words, Superman will dominate Clark Kent. 

Shaquille O'Neal will destroy Dwight Howard, eliminate Howard's claims to be Superman, and effectively end this whole nickname charade. 

So please, Dwight.  At least wait until he retires so it looks like you are paying homage instead of completely biting Shaq. 

Well, I suppose it doesn't really matter in the long run.  If Cleveland or Orlando does get to the NBA Finals, they'll run into Kobe Bryant, aka "Doomsday."

And we all know what Doomsday did to Superman.