WWE Royal Rumble 2015: Most Underwhelming Superstars in History of Battle Royal
The depth of any WWE roster can be judged accurately based on any given Royal Rumble.
The highest-quality Rumble bouts are those that tout the most star power, the most compelling stories and the greatest booking. Those further down the list suffer from a lack of quality participants, as seen in 1993, 1995, 1996 and numerous other times in the lengthy history of the popular gimmick bout.
Rumble history is dotted with some of the most curious and underwhelming stars ever. Whether they are African tribal warriors, men of the future, legendary competitors well past their prime or even commentators, the contest's format has opened it up for some truly peculiar performers.
Now, as you gear up for the 2015 edition of the beloved bout, relive the most underwhelming and spectacularly bad entrants in Royal Rumble history!
The Warlord
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Rarely is there a Superstar who received as much television time as The Warlord did throughout his WWE career, who was part of some fairly high-profile rivalries as he was, that has such an underwhelming Royal Rumble resume.
In 1989, he became the Superstar with the dubious distinction of being eliminated the quickest. That record would hold up for two decades, until Santino Marella lasted a single second in the 2009 match.
Add to that the fact that the monstrous heavyweight went three straight years without notching a single elimination in the match and you have statistics typically reserved for bottom-of-the-barrel jobbers.
Even worse is the fact that, over the course of two years (1991-1992), he never lasted longer than two minutes. That's right; one of the most feared big men on the roster, with a body chiseled out of stone, could not last more than two minutes in the Royal Rumble match.
When all is said and done, there may never be another Superstar with the stature and status on the WWE roster who was as wholly and consistently disappointing as Warlord was in his many Rumble appearances.
Saba Simba
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In 1991, Tony Atlas returned to WWE. Rather than helping him get over by reminding fans of his Hall of Fame qualifications, such as his tag team title reign with Rocky Johnson, Vince McMahon turned him into another cartoon character on a roster full of them.
Known as Saba Simba, Atlas portrayed an African warrior. It was gimmick that played upon a racial stereotype and rubbed many the wrong way. For Atlas, though, it was a second chance at the big time following years of addiction.
Entering the Royal Rumble at No. 7, he was the second man eliminated from the bout after only two minutes of competition.
It was a tremendous blow for the character, who had failed to catch on with audiences and was more controversial than over.
The Rumble match would be Simba's one and only major appearance. He disappeared from television shortly thereafter, never to be heard from again.
Damien Demento
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The early 1990s were a time of cartoonish gimmicks and over-the-top personas in WWE. Vince McMahon, hoping to keep the family audience that had been so instrumental in the success of the company during the late 1980s, did everything in his power to create the larger-than-life stars who would help carry the company into the future.
Debuting in October 1992, the character was billed from "the Outer Reaches of Your Mind." There was no other explanation, and there was no real background given for Demento. Instead, he was thrown out onto WWE television and expected to thrive without fans having any real reason to care.
It should be no surprise then that Demento entered the 1993 Royal Rumble, lasted 12 nondescript minutes and was eliminated by WWE Hall of Famer Carlos Colon.
The character would die a slow and miserable death in the months that followed, jobbing out on house shows and disappearing from the company completely before the dawn of '94.
Max Moon
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One of the more recognizable creative blunders in WWE history, Max Moon was meant to be a "man of the future." Clad in a suit that closely resembled that of a Power Ranger more than anything, the gimmick was ridiculous from the get-go.
It debuted with a thud and rightfully so.
Thus, when Moon arrived in the Royal Rumble, fans could not wait to see him tossed out of the ring and, more importantly, off their television screens.
2007 WWE Hall of Famer, and one of the voices of a generation of wrestling fans, Jerry "the King" Lawler gave them exactly what they wanted.
After a two-minute stint in the Royal Rumble, the writing was on the wall. Moon would disappear to another galaxy less than a month later.
Carlos Colon
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Carlos Colon may have been inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2014, and he may be well-deserving of his reputation as the godfather of professional wrestling in Puerto Rico, but his 1993 Royal Rumble appearance left many fans scratching their heads.
The competitor had no history with the company, at least from an on-screen standpoint, and he was well past his prime. The fact that Gorilla Monsoon referred to him as a "young man," when anyone with even remotely respectable eyesight could see otherwise, was laughable.
At a time when Vince McMahon was pushing Bret Hart, Razor Ramon, Undertaker and Shawn Michaels as stars of the future, it made absolutely zero sense that he would bring in a man fans had little familiarity with, who was much older than his competition, to compete in one of the biggest matches of the year.ย
Well Dunn
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Timothy Well and Steven Dunn made their debut in WWE in 1993 as the tandem known as Well Dunn.
At first, they regularly mixed it up with the top tag teams in the company, including the Smoking Gunns and The Headshrinkers, but they soon settled down and engaged in a seemingly endless feud with The Bushwhackers.
Needless to say, neither team were necessarily the hottest commodity in the sport as the New Generation Era of Vince McMahon's promotion rolled around so it was a bit puzzling when both were entered into the 1995 Royal Rumble match.
Luke and Butch at least had built up a wealth of goodwill over the years. Well Dunn, on the other hand, was rightfully perceived as jobbers by the WWE fans.
When the tag team lasted a mere five minutes combinedย in the annual bout, many fans were left wondering why WWE even bothered booking them in the match.
Not only were Well and Dunn's appearances in the match utterly forgettable, they were the type that added to the poor reputation of the 1995 contest and its status as one of (if not the) all-time worst.
Mantaur
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Mantaur was half-bull and halfhuman.
No, really. At least that's what commentator (and creativeย genius) Vince McMahon tried to convince fans of. Unfortunately for him, and for Mantaur, the character was so ridiculously stupid that the audience could not have cared less.
His entrance in the Royal Rumble was undoubtedly meant to establish credibility for the performer but seeing him share the ring with Lex Luger, Shawn Michaels, British Bulldog and Crush only helped accentuate every negative about the persona.
Worse yet, the Mantaur character was one of the shining examples of why fans were becoming more and more disenfranchised by McMahon's product with every passing show.
The character would be put out of its misery prior to WrestleMania XI.
Doug Gilbert
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The brother of the late, great "Hot Stuff" Eddie Gilbert, Doug Gilbert made his one, and only, WWE appearance in the 1996 Royal Rumble match.
A veteran of the dying days of territorial wrestling, and a star in Memphis, Gilbert benefited from McMahon's working relationship with Jerry Lawler's USWA.
With WWE touting one of its weakest rosters ever, the company was in desperate need of bodies to fill out its annual 30-man Rumble bout.
Thus, the former ECW tag team champion and five-time USWA heavyweight champion was called upon.
Lasting just under three minutes, Gilbert was victim No. 2 of the debuting Vader, who tossed him with reckless abandon.
By the end of the night, the idea of Gilbert appearing in the match appeared even more curious than it had before.
That he never appeared again in any meaningful match or segment only added to the criticism of his inclusion in the bout.
Dory Funk Jr.
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Dory Funk Jr. is a legendary figure in the world of sports entertainment, a Hall of Famer and one of the greatest NWA World heavyweight champions of all time. He has also been instrumental in the development and training of some truly great WWE Superstars.
When he entered the 1996 Royal Rumble, however, fans could not help but notice just how out of place he appeared.
Again, the lack of quality depth made it necessary for the WWE to go outside its own promotion to find talent for the annual battle royal. But to bring in someone the age of Funk, whose best in-ring days were decades behind him, only further intensified the scrutiny McMahon was under from critics who felt he had lost touch with what fans of the '90s wanted to see from his product.
Funk entered at No. 8 and lasted nearly 11 minutes before being tossed by Savio Vega.
It was an inauspicious return to the spotlight for a Superstar so incredibly essential in the early growth and evolution of the pro wrestling industry.
The Squat Team
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Prior to the 1996 Royal Rumble, The Headhunters were a tag team with international recognition, thanks to their work in both Japan and Mexico, not to mention independent promotions across the United States. Their arrival to WWE should have been their first opportunity to prove themselves to fans unfamiliar with their prior work.
Instead, they were eliminated from the annual Rumble contest after lasting less than two minutes combined. Dumped by Yokozuna and Vader, they proved to be little more than fodder for McMahon's established stars, leaving many to wonder why they would risk damaging their reputations on a Royal Rumble appearance that made them look so weak.
The Squat Team would never again appear in the form that they did at the Royal Rumble. In fact, it would be well over a year until they even stepped foot back on WWE programming.
By then, any chance they had of ever making a career for themselves in the wrestling empire had come and gone.
The Blue Meanie
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As one of the members of Raven's Nest and the Blue World Order in ECW, The Blue Meanie had developed into one of wrestling's most beloved sidekicks. His goofiness was wildly entertaining, and his interactions with Stevie Richards helped him develop into one of the most over acts in the extreme promotion.
Unfortunately, upon signing with WWE, it quickly became apparent that the company had no idea how to adequately use The Blue Meanie on their shows. He faded into the background, becoming absolutely meaningless in the grand scheme of things.ย
He rarely appeared on WWE programming and was a glorified jobber.
So when he entered the Royal Rumble in January 1999, at No. 10, fans could not have been less impressed.
That he lasted a mere three minutes and was little more than fodder for the returning Mabel to dispatch of, further demonstrated that his career prospects in the company were dim.
The Blue Meanie would enjoy a bit of a creative renaissance weeks later, when a rivalry with Goldust led to a bizarre relationship between the two that carried over into the spring. By the time the summer approached, however, The Blue Meanie's days of usefulness were over, and he was gone by the time the new millennium dawned.
Ernest Miller
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Ernest "the Cat" Miller made the jump from WCW to WWE as a member of the company's Velocity commentary team. Eventually, however, the decision was made to put him in the ring.
That was a mistake.
Despite the indisputable showmanship the performer possessed, he lacked what it took to be a company star, especially at a time when Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero were the top babyfaces.
Coming to the ring to the sounds of "Somebody Call My Momma," with sidekick Lamont by his side, he danced for the Philadelphia crowd. Of course, the passionate audience greeted him with a chorus of boos. Thankfully, Benoit and Randy Orton, the two Superstars still in the match, did not hesitate to toss him directly over the top rope the minute they got back to their feet.
It was Miller's final stand. He lasted far longer in WWE than most would have expected.
Daniel Puder
13 of 14When WWE reintroduced Tough Enough in 2004 in hopes of finding the next big Superstar, it could never have imagined that the competition would be responsible for a moment in which one of the contestants would attempt to get himself over at the expense of the only Olympic gold medalist in company history.
But that was the case as Daniel Puder nearly forced Kurt Angle to tap out on national television. While it gained the amateur mixed martial artist notoriety, it also earned him tremendous heat backstage.
When he arrived to the 2005 Royal Rumble match at No. 3, the true temperature of said heat would become apparent.
Sharing the ring with Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero, Puder had his chest chopped raw. The introduction of Bob Holly to the mix only furthered his torture and torment. After being stiffed from pillar to post, Puder's stay in the Rumble, and WWE, came to an unceremonious end when he was tossed over the top rope and to the arena floor.
The Announcers
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The 2012 Royal Rumble suffered from a lack of star power.
CM Punk and John Cena, the two biggest stars in the industry, were involved in matches elsewhere on the card and, thus, were not involved in the evening's main event. Despite a talented crop of Superstars, WWE Creative opted to fill vacancies in the Rumble match lineup with announcers.
That's right, Michael Cole, Jerry "the King" Lawler and Booker T all entered the Rumble from the announce position. Worse yet is the fact that nobody happened to notice the fact that all were either clad in their ring gear or wearing no pants, as was the case with Booker.
The biggest travesty of them all was that Cole lasted longer than Lawler, one of the most underrated legends the industry has ever known.
Coupled with the appearances of Ricardo Rodriguez, Mick Foley, Kharma and Jim Duggan, the inclusion of Cole, Lawler and Booker heightened the awareness of the lack of depth behind the very top stars on the roster.
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